Aug. 29, 2024

Value, College & What Did You Want to Be?

Value, College & What Did You Want to Be?
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Season 3

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We switch gears between guests - for a deep convo about family and legacy after Raebecca returns home for a family funeral. Something about funerals and weddings have us digging into impact and reflecting on our own personal legacies. And somehow - SOMEHOW - the big take away was … we’re capable of more, today, tomorrow, and more than we originally thought.

When did life become about cars, and big houses and status symbols - after sitting in a pew and listening to a true legacy, we can’t help but wonder what we’re contributing to the betterment. And we get into the weeds about how inadequate society likes to make us feel, when they don’t understand our “why” (and we don’t mean just our why, we mean anyones why). Including this completely inappropriate question we field SO OFTEN - “How much money do you make from the podcast?” - rude.

This journey is about filling our cups - and yours. With humor, perspective, personal growth - we’re tackling the topics that so many of us face. As moms, working moms, entrepreneurs. And naturally that takes us on a left hand turn into college - graduation ceremonies - and our inability to fully be present in our achievements. We dissect our different approaches to control and success - and validation. Dont worry - we talk ALL about our failures, weight gain, beer and boys. Which one of us went to school with the intention to be a kindergarten teacher? You’re going to be shocked. 

And yes - we bring enneagram into this convo - and if you’re an enneagram girl you’re going to want to stay tuned! Next weeks guest is everything ENNEAGRAM - so take the free test and get ready to deep dive into your motivation and drive with our favorite expert.

In loving memory - James Hare 
12/11/1956 - 8/3/2024

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Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

WEBVTT

00:00:06.750 --> 00:00:07.009
What up?

00:00:07.009 --> 00:00:14.550
I just noticed you changed your name back from Scooby.

00:00:15.180 --> 00:00:16.585
I did change my name back to Rebecca.

00:00:16.585 --> 00:00:19.666
Why Do you want me to be Scooby?

00:00:21.400 --> 00:00:22.727
You can be Scooby in your heart.

00:00:23.361 --> 00:00:24.384
I am Scooby in your heart.

00:00:24.384 --> 00:00:27.513
I am Scooby in my heart.

00:00:27.513 --> 00:00:34.039
Let me just tell you I am Scooby in my heart, gosh.

00:00:34.039 --> 00:00:35.904
We have had such amazing guests on lately.

00:00:35.904 --> 00:00:38.990
I am so excited for this fall with this podcast.

00:00:39.411 --> 00:00:44.490
I know and we're coming up to a year for all things, we're coming up to a year.

00:00:45.210 --> 00:00:55.667
We've talked relationships, we're talking branding, we're talking enneagrams, we're talking farts, talking farts, camel toe, basically everything.

00:00:56.250 --> 00:00:57.152
Basically everything.

00:00:57.841 --> 00:00:59.688
I am going through it.

00:00:59.688 --> 00:01:01.243
Can we talk about this for a second?

00:01:01.243 --> 00:01:04.331
Sure, Okay, that's what we're here for.

00:01:04.331 --> 00:01:07.186
The ceilings have been repaired in the apartment.

00:01:07.186 --> 00:01:13.171
Finally Went home to New York for a funeral.

00:01:13.171 --> 00:01:14.882
Do you know?

00:01:14.882 --> 00:01:21.507
When that episode aired, three of my cousins reached out and they were like oh my gosh, are you coming?

00:01:21.507 --> 00:01:24.433
Because it aired on a Thursday and I was already.

00:01:24.433 --> 00:01:31.361
I was on a plane that exact same day and I hadn't told people because life has been so crazy that I was coming home.

00:01:31.361 --> 00:01:35.509
So they found out the day before the funeral from the podcast.

00:01:36.490 --> 00:01:37.593
I do the same thing when I go.

00:01:37.593 --> 00:01:38.662
Why are we like this?

00:01:38.662 --> 00:01:40.566
I do the same exact thing when I go home.

00:01:40.947 --> 00:01:44.546
My college roommate texts me Friday night and was like, cause, we grew up in the same town.

00:01:44.546 --> 00:01:44.903
And she was like are you home?

00:01:44.903 --> 00:01:45.974
My college roommate texts me Friday night and was like cause, we grew up in the same town.

00:01:45.974 --> 00:01:47.656
And she was like are you home?

00:01:47.656 --> 00:01:49.156
Do you want to go for a walk tomorrow?

00:01:49.156 --> 00:01:59.287
She actually said this was kind of one of those like amazing conversations, cause obviously, like I don't always keep track of everybody, um, but I loved her.

00:01:59.287 --> 00:02:05.090
Like we actually had the summer job at the ice cream shop where I acted like a crazy person together.

00:02:05.090 --> 00:02:07.784
But she was like do you?

00:02:07.885 --> 00:02:18.753
She made a comment about how she didn't start exercising until we were roommates together and she was like do you remember that you are the one who got me into?

00:02:18.753 --> 00:02:21.347
She said I said I couldn't because I had plans with family.

00:02:21.347 --> 00:02:23.682
She said I knew it was a long shot, but I figured I'd ask.

00:02:23.682 --> 00:02:26.531
You were literally the person that made me start exercising back in the day.

00:02:26.531 --> 00:02:35.704
Remember, we did double sessions of spinning and then dance class and then we would go lift and we spent half the day at the gym and then we would spend the other half at the bar, and I actually forgot that.

00:02:35.743 --> 00:02:40.022
I like entangled everyone in this, like you exercised in college?

00:02:40.022 --> 00:02:41.566
Absolutely yeah.

00:02:44.070 --> 00:02:49.849
I had really good friends that did it too, and then I had friends that played collegiate sports, so I liked being around them.

00:02:49.849 --> 00:02:50.775
I did it my first year.

00:02:50.775 --> 00:02:57.826
I gained a bunch of weight my first year because I like had stopped doing everything that I did at home and all of my sports.

00:02:57.826 --> 00:03:03.872
And then I got home and one of my little brother was like dude, I didn't even recognize you, oh my.

00:03:03.913 --> 00:03:06.122
God, that's so mean, A hundred percent.

00:03:06.122 --> 00:03:14.450
The baby was like Ooh, and I was like so I started running that summer and then I kept that all the way through college.

00:03:14.450 --> 00:03:15.074
And then I met.

00:03:15.074 --> 00:03:18.645
I had grown up lifting because of my dad, but I met another friend, Rachel.

00:03:18.645 --> 00:03:27.433
She lifted, so we started doing that together in like the weight room and then it just became this whole gaggle of girls we 100% exercise in college.

00:03:27.433 --> 00:03:28.355
It was like a big thing.

00:03:28.657 --> 00:03:33.885
The only thing I was lifting in college was beer, beer bottles.

00:03:33.885 --> 00:03:36.471
I did not do any of that.

00:03:36.991 --> 00:03:37.271
I did.

00:03:37.271 --> 00:03:39.384
It sounds like, based on what Christina said, I did both.

00:03:39.384 --> 00:03:39.697
That's it.

00:03:39.697 --> 00:03:40.461
I'm really impressed, to be quite honest.

00:03:40.461 --> 00:03:41.936
I mean both.

00:03:44.001 --> 00:03:44.830
I'm really impressed, to be quite honest.

00:03:44.830 --> 00:03:47.927
I mean because I didn't think that people, it was a balance.

00:03:48.340 --> 00:03:51.828
If you read what you wrote, we were doing both.

00:03:52.521 --> 00:03:53.352
It was a fine balance.

00:03:53.352 --> 00:03:54.562
I know that's what I'm telling you.

00:03:54.562 --> 00:03:58.288
I'm really impressed because I was only focused on boys and beer.

00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:01.888
Yeah, I feel like we had a good time.

00:04:01.888 --> 00:04:03.205
We had a really good group of girls.

00:04:04.199 --> 00:04:05.062
We had all our meals.

00:04:05.062 --> 00:04:07.830
Okay, you Houdini'd in town.

00:04:08.820 --> 00:04:10.669
Yeah, I Houdini'd in town, not even on purpose.

00:04:10.669 --> 00:04:16.769
People were laughing because in that episode I said isn't Jenny going to buy my ticket, isn't Whitney going to buy?

00:04:16.769 --> 00:04:22.541
And that isn't monetarily purchased, I just needed somebody To book it To help me.

00:04:22.541 --> 00:04:38.432
Because, so much the apartment stuff alone, I don't know if I'll ever be over the full trauma of having to pack up my entire master closet, bathroom, bedroom and then put it all back one night and then get on a plane the next morning.

00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:43.108
Yeah, it was a lot that picture of your stuff in the girl's bedroom.

00:04:43.209 --> 00:04:47.583
I was like, oh my gosh lot that picture of your stuff in the girl's bedroom.

00:04:47.583 --> 00:04:52.391
I was like, oh my gosh, I was moving so fast and I still I walked up to that gate and they were boarding the final zone.

00:04:52.391 --> 00:04:55.725
I mean, I was flying in there.

00:04:55.725 --> 00:04:58.151
A good friend of mine texts and he was like you.

00:04:58.151 --> 00:05:07.432
I hope you are in your car right now because you and I was like barely barely in in my car, like walking to my car.

00:05:07.452 --> 00:05:08.901
It's like you've got to get yeah.

00:05:08.901 --> 00:05:13.281
No, I'm not that like I'm not that person, because I'm not that person either, but I couldn't.

00:05:13.281 --> 00:05:25.252
There was no physical way to do more than I did yeah, I'm like I just need to be there and I'm not like that crazy person who needs to get there like two hours before.

00:05:25.252 --> 00:05:31.033
Like give me a solid 30 and I'm your girl, like I'm good, didn't happen, didn't happen.

00:05:31.259 --> 00:05:33.709
I can't do the slide in sideways thing.

00:05:34.540 --> 00:05:38.011
So I have two funny stories from you For you.

00:05:38.011 --> 00:05:40.447
So it's I'm in my parents' house.

00:05:40.447 --> 00:05:43.687
There's an internment before the funeral.

00:05:43.687 --> 00:05:46.329
My mom and dad are there, they have the day off.

00:05:46.329 --> 00:05:47.040
They leave.

00:05:47.040 --> 00:05:49.286
They say we're going to be back at one o'clock to pick you up.

00:05:49.286 --> 00:05:51.973
Great, got it.

00:05:52.379 --> 00:05:53.403
I'm in my parents' house by myself.

00:05:53.403 --> 00:05:58.783
They have, like this huge Rhodesian Ridgeback, so I've got this horse basically hanging out with me, which I love.

00:05:58.783 --> 00:05:59.826
It's up to my hip.

00:05:59.826 --> 00:06:00.567
The dog is huge.

00:06:00.567 --> 00:06:01.288
I'm obsessed.

00:06:01.288 --> 00:06:02.249
We grew up with these.

00:06:02.249 --> 00:06:04.552
Very sweet.

00:06:04.552 --> 00:06:05.834
I'm just hanging out with this horse.

00:06:05.834 --> 00:06:10.331
I get in the tub With the horse.

00:06:10.331 --> 00:06:11.274
What?

00:06:11.274 --> 00:06:12.617
No, the horse is around.

00:06:12.617 --> 00:06:17.622
Oh, okay, get in the tub because of who I am and I have to regroup after stuff like that, and you know it's water for me.

00:06:17.622 --> 00:06:20.130
So I'm in the tub working, got music playing.

00:06:20.130 --> 00:06:22.620
My parents come home at 1030.

00:06:22.620 --> 00:06:24.324
They're not supposed to be home.

00:06:24.324 --> 00:06:35.928
Pretty sure that's because, also, I had my childhood best friend over the previous night and we drank a lot of champagne and wine and we cried and laughed and did all the things I swear on my life.

00:06:35.928 --> 00:06:45.053
My mom was just making sure that I wasn't hung over and that I was actually up and getting ready for this, but she did it under the guise of bringing me a Diet Coke.

00:06:48.201 --> 00:06:48.624
I mean.

00:06:49.661 --> 00:06:51.427
She walks right into the bathroom.

00:06:54.704 --> 00:06:55.528
While you're in the bath?

00:06:56.028 --> 00:07:02.947
Yes, Then she panics and she's like I just thought you wanted a.

00:07:02.987 --> 00:07:06.906
Diet Coke and she's turning around in circles and I was like but I do want a Diet Coke.

00:07:06.906 --> 00:07:10.454
And she's like turning around in circles and I was like, but I do want a Diet Coke.

00:07:10.454 --> 00:07:15.709
Yeah, like, drop that here, cindy, drop it here Also, can you leave?

00:07:15.769 --> 00:07:17.920
Oh my God, because I didn't know she goes.

00:07:17.920 --> 00:07:19.242
I just think there might have been a miscommunication.

00:07:19.242 --> 00:07:35.553
And it was like the funniest thing, because that week was so intense that I started like crying, laughing, and I actually felt so bad for my mom, cause I could tell that she was just like trying to do the nicest thing, and then she was like embarrassed for me, cause it was just.

00:07:35.553 --> 00:07:50.074
It was so much chaos at once, like my phone was playing music, I was working on it, I didn't know people were home, there's a Diet Coke, my mom's spinning around in circles, it's not my tub, so there's no bubbles, and so I started laughing.

00:07:50.074 --> 00:07:50.754
I was like you know what?

00:07:50.754 --> 00:07:52.163
It was a good week for it.

00:07:52.163 --> 00:07:56.543
It was a good week for it and she just was like I could just that sounds heavenly.

00:07:56.642 --> 00:08:00.500
A mom sent Diet Coke while you're in the bathtub, I know.

00:08:01.403 --> 00:08:02.165
It was great.

00:08:02.165 --> 00:08:04.831
I just You're sweet mama.

00:08:04.831 --> 00:08:13.742
It was a good funny moment before the funeral.

00:08:13.742 --> 00:08:16.148
So the funeral we won't get into the nitty gritty of it, but the funeral was for my uncle, jim.

00:08:16.168 --> 00:08:17.189
I grew up in a small town.

00:08:17.189 --> 00:08:21.548
It's a farming town in Rochester, new York, in Hilton, everybody knows everybody.

00:08:21.548 --> 00:08:25.466
My dad is one of five, his sister married Jim.

00:08:25.466 --> 00:08:28.184
That's my godmother, and like they have three kids.

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The one son is four days older than me.

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So we grew up together.

00:08:31.331 --> 00:08:33.524
His daughter's one of my close friends.

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He's the fireman, but he was also our fire chief and then he was like pivotal in creating the fire explorers program and then on top of it he was like one of the vice presidents for the New York state fire chiefs association and he did all this other stuff.

00:08:50.860 --> 00:08:56.139
Like he helped restore one of the original fire trucks that our fire department owned.

00:08:56.139 --> 00:09:05.885
They found it in like a salvage yard in Buffalo recently, like in the last couple of years, and the fire department bought it back and he helped restore it.

00:09:05.885 --> 00:09:11.394
And so like they told the story of like I mean, he has been sick for a little bit.

00:09:11.394 --> 00:09:33.946
So we have like a big parade and carnival in our town and the fire department's obviously like a big part of that, and so that was the first time that the restored truck was going to be out and they like took it by his house before they took it to like the parade and like he got to see it and I mean I just love his kids and his wife and it was, there were so many firemen there.

00:09:35.610 --> 00:09:36.831
I feel like that's always just.

00:09:36.831 --> 00:09:49.482
Even if you see, I mean same thing with police officers, seeing that kind of camaraderie and like just something about people being in uniform, I mean it, just.

00:09:49.482 --> 00:09:51.971
I mean it moves me to tears, it really does.

00:09:52.059 --> 00:09:59.128
And I feel like I wanted to touch on it just because the one word that kept coming up the entire time was like family, family, family.

00:09:59.128 --> 00:10:07.687
And it wasn't just like who he is as a dad, it's really like the way that these departments work, and I think about, like, even going back into the school.

00:10:07.687 --> 00:10:08.510
You're like teachers.

00:10:08.510 --> 00:10:23.065
Or I think about first responders, and I think about how sometimes we always talk about like careers, like everyone has to have these, like huge achievements and a million dollars, and I can tell you right now, like no one's making a million dollars being a firefighter.

00:10:23.065 --> 00:10:32.245
But like these I don't know how we make these conversations bigger, because these people are so important and what they get back from their jobs is so much more than what.

00:10:32.306 --> 00:10:41.907
I see people who are just chasing a paycheck getting, and like the depth of, like the raw emotion that room, like there were explorers there right, they're the young in high school age.

00:10:42.341 --> 00:10:44.008
I mean they were sobbing.

00:10:44.008 --> 00:10:48.904
I mean this was like one of those.

00:10:48.904 --> 00:10:53.664
They did the final call, which is just, you know, you hear all the beeping and the crackling, like I mean, obviously he's a fireman, so there was always that thing.

00:10:53.664 --> 00:10:56.919
Whatever that respondent thing is on top of the fridge.

00:10:56.919 --> 00:11:21.287
And so you go through the whole like final call, you know, call to duty, released of duty, and just I mean I sometimes I get so tired of the world being constantly about like cars and houses, and just you see this man and like the amount of time that he put into these other achievements, just because you felt very called.

00:11:21.287 --> 00:11:39.490
Like at a very young age his sister told stories of like the first fire that he went to that he ever saw, and like the grandma has a picture and it was actually their own house, and like he's standing outside and he's like staring at the house and everyone else is, like you know, panicking and he just was drawn to it like a really young age.

00:11:39.610 --> 00:11:40.780
And then I love that.

00:11:41.282 --> 00:11:44.369
She ended up being a paramedic and she's done all these amazing things.

00:11:45.191 --> 00:12:00.250
But you have to be and that's you know, police officers or EMS paramedics, teachers, I mean, they're not doing it for the money, they are doing it because they were called to do something, and so I wish that we could take that philosophy and apply it to other places.

00:12:00.250 --> 00:12:03.743
Yeah, you know and we've touched on this briefly too you know a lot of folks.

00:12:03.743 --> 00:12:08.129
I mean, you know, we work multiple jobs, we're moms, we do all these things.

00:12:08.129 --> 00:12:10.530
It's like, oh my gosh, why do you do a podcast too?

00:12:10.530 --> 00:12:13.916
Like your time is so precious, like what are you doing?

00:12:13.956 --> 00:12:28.163
And it's like straight up say to us how much money do you?

00:12:28.163 --> 00:12:33.476
I will say this cause, I'm sure some of you guys have thought it People ask us that, for whatever reason, the minute we are face to face the first question how much money do you make making?

00:12:33.496 --> 00:12:33.878
the podcast.

00:12:33.878 --> 00:12:34.438
Yeah, okay, so the podcast.

00:12:34.438 --> 00:12:40.591
It's rude AF, by the way, it is rude AF, but like also, at some point it will be monetized.

00:12:40.972 --> 00:12:46.000
right now it's kind of like that movie with Tom Hanks money pit, yeah two more weeks, two weeks.

00:12:46.400 --> 00:12:48.644
We'll make money in two weeks, two weeks.

00:12:48.644 --> 00:12:53.953
But, like I, just we do it because we like it.

00:12:53.953 --> 00:12:57.543
We do it because we like it's so fulfilling.

00:12:57.562 --> 00:13:01.307
Jenny truly, the podcast is one of my top.

00:13:01.307 --> 00:13:06.974
If I were to make a list of ways that I film my own cup podcast top five.

00:13:07.875 --> 00:13:08.154
Yeah.

00:13:08.615 --> 00:13:09.557
I love the podcast.

00:13:10.100 --> 00:13:12.405
And you know the feedback that we get from everybody.

00:13:12.405 --> 00:13:14.993
I mean, that's what's, that's what keeps us going.

00:13:14.993 --> 00:13:16.302
So it's not.

00:13:16.302 --> 00:13:19.432
We're not banking on millions here over at marketing and mayhem.

00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:21.447
We are feedback.

00:13:21.447 --> 00:13:22.938
It's like the guests that we get on.

00:13:22.938 --> 00:13:24.162
I think we both have.

00:13:24.162 --> 00:13:42.155
We're very drawn to entrepreneurs and then also self-growth, so we've actually been able to refill our cup in quite a few ways by having these amazing guests on who are tackling some of the same things, or got to the start line or the finish line in a different way, or give us perspective.

00:13:42.155 --> 00:13:45.350
I mean, I think we're both very committed to like perspective.

00:13:46.660 --> 00:13:49.625
And it pushes us out of our comfort zone, like you know.

00:13:49.625 --> 00:13:53.433
So it's personal growth too, right.

00:13:53.433 --> 00:13:55.990
I mean, you think back to like, our first few episodes.

00:13:55.990 --> 00:13:59.501
It was like, oh, I don't know, should we say this, should we not say this?

00:13:59.501 --> 00:14:09.654
And now it's like YOLO, let's talk farts and camel toes, but just like, so it's just it's.

00:14:09.654 --> 00:14:10.615
I think it's.

00:14:10.615 --> 00:14:19.975
We need to get past this kind of what's in it for me mentality when it's more of just like.

00:14:20.200 --> 00:14:26.422
Why don't you just put some good out there in in the world and do something that you truly like and enjoy like?

00:14:26.422 --> 00:14:27.485
Why do you have to?

00:14:27.485 --> 00:14:29.347
Why you gotta get paid for it?

00:14:29.970 --> 00:14:30.390
I don't.

00:14:30.390 --> 00:14:40.061
This idea that your bank account reflects your actual like value is just it's, for whatever reason, because, like, don't get me wrong, I like nice things and I love to spend money.

00:14:40.081 --> 00:14:40.741
Oh same girl.

00:14:40.741 --> 00:14:41.743
Take me to Target.

00:14:41.743 --> 00:14:43.504
Take me to Target losing your own parents.

00:14:43.504 --> 00:14:45.284
You just have these you like.

00:14:45.304 --> 00:15:10.471
look around and everyone is having these really raw emotions that you don't find unless you're in rooms like that.

00:15:10.471 --> 00:15:16.230
Recently, I don't know, I just was like it starts to make you really question, like your impact.

00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:20.649
I feel like that funerals and weddings are like that.

00:15:20.649 --> 00:15:29.190
I feel like those are the two events that you go to that you end up thinking about yourself Like I don't know why.

00:15:29.190 --> 00:15:33.255
I just I feel like that's a common human maybe not dudes.

00:15:33.255 --> 00:15:36.476
I don't feel like guys Nate's probably not thinking about anything.

00:15:36.476 --> 00:15:36.839
I don't know if.

00:15:36.859 --> 00:15:38.325
I think about it as much as weddings.

00:15:38.325 --> 00:15:48.472
But I did post the other day Cause it was like a reel about families and the whole family was dancing weird, and that's like how the wife realized she was like with the right guy because they were all dancing like nerds.

00:15:48.472 --> 00:15:49.743
I was like man.

00:15:49.743 --> 00:15:51.889
I haven't embarrassed myself at a wedding in a little bit.

00:15:52.159 --> 00:15:57.741
Oh my gosh, I live for it Same, same, live for it Same.

00:15:57.741 --> 00:15:59.288
I want to kick off my shoes.

00:15:59.288 --> 00:16:01.168
I need some friends of mine to start getting married.

00:16:05.559 --> 00:16:17.807
Because I feel like we're in the part where, like then, everyone was having babies and now we're having some of these bigger moments, like talking about funeral planning or actually being at funerals of our family or like people's dads, and I'm like, wait a minute, I need someone to get married, I know.

00:16:17.940 --> 00:16:19.163
I need like a mini martini.

00:16:19.163 --> 00:16:20.227
This is my point.

00:16:20.227 --> 00:16:20.970
This is my point.

00:16:21.159 --> 00:16:22.341
Let's turn on Britney Spears.

00:16:22.361 --> 00:16:23.644
So this is my point.

00:16:23.644 --> 00:16:24.346
Let's turn on Britney Spears.

00:16:24.346 --> 00:16:28.472
So, in your reflection, what do you want your legacy to be?

00:16:33.125 --> 00:16:33.447
I don't know.

00:16:33.447 --> 00:16:35.291
I don't know the answer to that.

00:16:35.291 --> 00:16:36.011
You don't have anything.

00:16:36.011 --> 00:16:40.346
No, but that's because you're two, so you like to do this.

00:16:40.346 --> 00:16:43.312
Because this is like you telling me that you already had your funeral planned.

00:16:43.312 --> 00:16:44.043
You told me to do it.

00:16:44.043 --> 00:16:44.303
My lawyer told me to do it.

00:16:44.251 --> 00:16:44.389
Okay, like you.

00:16:44.389 --> 00:16:46.033
Cause this is like you telling me that you already had your funeral planned, where I am a little bit more.

00:16:46.033 --> 00:16:47.465
My lawyer told me to do it.

00:16:47.465 --> 00:17:12.624
Okay, but it also made sense for you because of I would a lawyer could tell me that Jenny and I'd be like thank you, um, I, it's just like, for me, I there's the parts where I'm like I don't know, if I don't have, I can't do the best job, like defining some of those things Like I can think of like small impacts and I can be really global and give like big answers.

00:17:12.624 --> 00:17:20.263
But for me, more than anything, it's like the question that I enjoy Okay, why do you know what your legacy is?

00:17:20.263 --> 00:17:23.554
No, but I just I figured it's a good like if you thought about it, I'd be interested to hear what your what your legacy is.

00:17:23.574 --> 00:17:28.048
No, but I just figured it's a good like if you thought about it, I'd be interested to hear what your legacy was.

00:17:28.200 --> 00:17:38.211
You know what it made me really think about and I'm sure this is going to make you don't take a sip of anything right now because you're going to it made me think I could do more.

00:17:39.540 --> 00:17:46.280
Oh my God, but no, I feel that way too, I know, but you have to have the oh God, but no, I feel that way too, I know, but you have to have the oh God Cause.

00:17:46.340 --> 00:17:49.763
I know people say to you and I all the time like, how are you doing this?

00:17:49.763 --> 00:17:51.429
I don't have a good answer.

00:17:51.429 --> 00:18:13.935
No, but there is the part where I'm like, okay, but for every part where people aren't doing very much and then you and I are doing a lot, there are definitely other people who are like saving lives, rebuilding fire trucks, helping raise their grandkids, and I'm just like the limits you have are the limits you put on yourself.

00:18:13.935 --> 00:18:15.140
I agree with that.

00:18:15.140 --> 00:18:19.852
I'm shocked with how much you can like impact.

00:18:21.200 --> 00:18:22.926
Yeah, I feel this.

00:18:22.926 --> 00:18:35.329
Yeah, I, I feel this, but I will say I give it, I'm giving it a fair shot to like do all the things, like all the same.

00:18:35.329 --> 00:18:46.315
Yeah, so I, you know, clark had her field day the other day, so her school does um their field day the second day school so everybody can get to know each other all the things.

00:18:46.756 --> 00:18:49.180
It seems minorly inconvenient, but you made it happen.

00:18:49.180 --> 00:18:51.104
It is the second day of school.

00:18:52.166 --> 00:18:58.669
When I came up with the games, I went shopping for the supplies.

00:18:58.669 --> 00:19:02.463
You managed field day, I managed the volunteers.

00:19:02.463 --> 00:19:29.384
I gathered all the volunteers, I told every volunteer what to do throughout the day, and so, at the end of the day, my heart was so full Like I cannot even begin to tell you how full, and so I'm doing some self-reflection on the way home, yep, and I'm like I feel so on purpose today, like I feel like I did exactly what I needed to do, and so I'm like you know immediately.

00:19:29.384 --> 00:19:32.192
I'm like well, is it because you've been in control all day?

00:19:32.192 --> 00:19:33.465
Is that why you liked it, jenny?

00:19:33.465 --> 00:19:36.423
And it's like no.

00:19:36.722 --> 00:19:48.977
Where I get my kicks is when I look around and like see all those 165 kids doing the things that wouldn't have been possible without me.

00:19:48.977 --> 00:19:50.501
That's what, like.

00:19:50.501 --> 00:19:52.227
I'm like, oh my gosh, I love that.

00:19:52.227 --> 00:19:53.210
You know what I mean.

00:19:53.210 --> 00:20:02.099
So I think that for me, like I love that community and like bringing people together, I planned my 20th high school reunion.

00:20:02.099 --> 00:20:05.801
I mean, good God, of course I did so, you know, I think for me.

00:20:06.123 --> 00:20:07.403
That's what I like seeing.

00:20:07.403 --> 00:20:09.724
I didn't go to mine, did you not?

00:20:09.724 --> 00:20:11.332
Yeah, no, why?

00:20:11.332 --> 00:20:13.282
I don't know.

00:20:13.282 --> 00:20:15.652
I didn't know you would have come to mine because mine was lovely.

00:20:16.073 --> 00:20:16.654
It was, I'm sure.

00:20:16.654 --> 00:20:23.157
I'm actually sure that mine was lovely and I may make a better effort down the road, but like why didn't you go?

00:20:23.218 --> 00:20:23.258
I?

00:20:23.298 --> 00:20:25.404
got to know I don't have like a specific.

00:20:25.404 --> 00:20:27.229
I didn't go to my college graduation either.

00:20:27.229 --> 00:20:31.298
Huh, that's very, I don't.

00:20:31.298 --> 00:20:38.227
It's that's very, I don't know.

00:20:38.227 --> 00:20:51.989
You know what I feel like and maybe this is, this might be the aid in me, but I feel like I'll push so hard for the achievement and then, once I get there, it's like that where, like for you, it might be more like the thing where I'm just like next, like I'm, I wish it might be an ADHD thing.

00:20:51.989 --> 00:20:54.032
I actually saw a thing on this the other day too.

00:20:54.032 --> 00:21:01.455
That was like I wish I could sit in it and enjoy it, but that's not necessarily where I go mentally.

00:21:02.025 --> 00:21:02.487
I'm a little.

00:21:02.487 --> 00:21:05.134
I think we've talked about this with the prom.

00:21:05.134 --> 00:21:07.834
I feel like for me, I'm definitely that person.

00:21:07.834 --> 00:21:14.252
I like the buildup, I love doing all of the things beforehand, but then I'm like all right, I'm good, y'all have fun.

00:21:23.224 --> 00:21:26.353
Out doing all of the things beforehand, but then I'm like all right, I'm good, Y'all have fun out.

00:21:26.353 --> 00:21:26.773
Yeah Well, I so I did.

00:21:26.773 --> 00:21:30.684
I graduated early also, so I wasn't in my, I didn't graduate with most of my peers, so I think that's partially why I was just like, but no, I didn't go.

00:21:31.285 --> 00:21:32.067
I hated that shit.

00:21:32.067 --> 00:21:33.874
Anyway, I hate a hate, a graduation.

00:21:33.874 --> 00:21:36.604
Oh, is there anything worse?

00:21:36.604 --> 00:21:37.385
I mean truly.

00:21:37.727 --> 00:21:39.270
I mean I literally skipped mine.

00:21:39.270 --> 00:21:43.788
I graduated in three and a half years and skipped it why did?

00:21:43.807 --> 00:21:49.499
you do that if you don't mind me asking graduated fast yeah okay, it's a whole story.

00:21:50.287 --> 00:21:53.314
okay, I was a.

00:21:53.314 --> 00:21:55.077
I did well in high school.

00:21:55.077 --> 00:22:09.778
I wasn't like a valedictorian or anything, but I was smart and I went to college, not on scholarship or anything like that, but my grandfather that pilots named after paid for my collegiate education.

00:22:09.778 --> 00:22:21.665
I did not do well my first semester and I was because it was my first time not being athletic, my first time like really being away from all of the constraints that I had, and I just like had a good time.

00:22:21.665 --> 00:22:35.195
Yeah and um, I was not proud of that GPA, so I did a 180 very quickly and that's when I like got back to the gym, got super focused, I added.

00:22:35.664 --> 00:22:42.784
So I graduated with a major, a minor and a core with high honors in three and a half years.

00:22:42.784 --> 00:22:50.699
Like I only needed that little five month moment to be like actually that's not what we're doing here.

00:22:50.699 --> 00:22:53.169
Like I can tend to be that way.

00:22:53.169 --> 00:22:58.499
Like where I was, like I'm going to let this get a little wily and then I'm going to tighten it up real tight, and so that's exactly.

00:22:58.499 --> 00:23:04.857
And then, actually, the December that I graduated from college, I also ran my first marathon.

00:23:04.857 --> 00:23:10.675
So like that's how I went from like that super sideways to like now.

00:23:10.675 --> 00:23:16.596
I'm training for a marathon and I'm going to graduate with high honors and all these things.

00:23:17.125 --> 00:23:18.508
You know what I think is funny about this.

00:23:18.508 --> 00:23:49.974
So I'm the complete opposite and I find it odd because on more than one occasion you've called me a control freak and like everything you just described sounds like a control freak but, ironically, like I was not like that at all, Like I partied for two years and then I finally was like all right, well, I guess I got to start doing some homework and like get it together.

00:23:50.765 --> 00:23:52.992
So my control freak is just me.

00:23:52.992 --> 00:23:58.165
So like I needed, because I feel like everything was very deliberate before.

00:23:58.165 --> 00:24:05.567
I needed to get sideways so that it was important to me to be, cause that intense always comes up with the eight thing.

00:24:05.567 --> 00:24:10.266
Like I need to dial myself in If someone else is trying to control me.

00:24:10.266 --> 00:24:11.669
I that's where I do not.

00:24:11.669 --> 00:24:15.678
I like to be very deliberate but I like to be autonomous.

00:24:17.046 --> 00:24:19.672
It's interesting no one said anything to me about my grades.

00:24:19.672 --> 00:24:22.727
Not, no one said anything to me about my grades.

00:24:22.727 --> 00:24:24.271
My parents were very healthy, like this.

00:24:24.271 --> 00:24:27.347
No one said really anything to me about graduating early.

00:24:27.347 --> 00:24:29.637
No one really said anything about graduating with high honors.

00:24:30.421 --> 00:24:33.771
My grandfather I gave him a sweatshirt which I have now because he passed.

00:24:33.771 --> 00:24:44.776
I got handed back to me and it obviously says University of Buffalo and it's like an extra large and I wear it a lot and the neck is all scruffed away from like his like own scruff.

00:24:44.776 --> 00:24:59.209
But he just said like it's the most expensive sweatshirt I've ever owned and it was like they were proud of me but they weren't going to like use that as a way to like misvalidate me.

00:24:59.209 --> 00:25:03.777
I think I knew they were proud, but they did.

00:25:03.777 --> 00:25:05.909
They were not the reason that I graduated with high honors.

00:25:05.909 --> 00:25:09.383
I they knew that I didn't need that, that I did better.

00:25:09.383 --> 00:25:12.173
My parents did a very good job understanding young that I did much better if I could self motivate.

00:25:12.173 --> 00:25:12.977
They never had to worry about that.

00:25:12.977 --> 00:25:14.362
Good job understanding young that I did much better.

00:25:14.362 --> 00:25:16.227
If I could self-motivate, they never had to worry about that.

00:25:19.555 --> 00:25:20.998
Yeah, I don't, I don't, I was.

00:25:20.998 --> 00:25:23.564
I mean, work was always my thing.

00:25:23.564 --> 00:25:24.567
School was not my thing.

00:25:24.567 --> 00:25:30.888
School was which is ironic because I do have a master's, but school was never really my thing.

00:25:30.888 --> 00:25:32.672
Like cause they're so similar?

00:25:32.672 --> 00:25:35.838
Well, they're not, but here's the thing.

00:25:35.838 --> 00:25:42.675
Here's where I sucked in school, so I did poorly in college because I'm like, why am I learning this shit?

00:25:42.675 --> 00:25:45.890
Why am I learning Existential questions?

00:25:45.890 --> 00:25:47.250
Why am I here?

00:25:47.250 --> 00:25:50.164
But seriously, it's like music appreciation.

00:25:50.164 --> 00:25:53.935
I'm like having to listen to classical music and name that tune.

00:25:53.935 --> 00:25:54.829
I'm like they required it, it was.

00:25:54.829 --> 00:25:56.298
I'm like having to listen to classical music and name that tune.

00:25:56.318 --> 00:25:57.063
I'm like I didn't take classes.

00:25:57.625 --> 00:25:58.568
They required it.

00:25:58.568 --> 00:25:59.310
It was I'm like.

00:25:59.310 --> 00:26:03.848
So when I got, let me tell you where it transitioned for me my junior year.

00:26:03.848 --> 00:26:05.494
Well, cause, you know I was going to start.

00:26:05.494 --> 00:26:07.006
I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher.

00:26:07.006 --> 00:26:08.067
Did you know this about me?

00:26:08.067 --> 00:26:15.954
Yeah, I know, and I say that F word a lot, but no, my entire life I grew up wanting to be a kindergarten teacher.

00:26:16.075 --> 00:26:21.740
Like first two years of college I took my core classes and then I started taking my teaching classes.

00:26:21.740 --> 00:26:33.618
Well, I got a job student or I got one of my classes I had to student teach and I was like F this, there is no way in hell I can do this for the rest of my life.

00:26:33.618 --> 00:26:35.529
True story, a lot of sense.

00:26:35.529 --> 00:26:38.192
I was like this is not going to work for me.

00:26:38.192 --> 00:26:42.295
Like the change major immediately.

00:26:42.295 --> 00:26:42.916
True story.

00:26:42.916 --> 00:26:51.696
So then I got into business and then that's when I started doing really well and like making really good grades, because I enjoy talking about business.

00:26:51.696 --> 00:26:54.859
So if I would have learned business growing up, I would have made good grades.

00:26:54.859 --> 00:26:58.616
Up I would have made good grades, but I hated fucking chemistry.

00:26:58.676 --> 00:26:59.339
Are you kidding me?

00:26:59.339 --> 00:27:01.847
What the fuck do you need chemistry for Dude?

00:27:01.847 --> 00:27:08.789
In high school, my physics teacher was actually like also my uncle, and I failed physics Like I did so poorly and it was so embarrassing.

00:27:08.809 --> 00:27:10.653
I failed chemistry.

00:27:10.914 --> 00:27:14.230
I only passed chemistry, remember, because Mr Childs was hot.

00:27:14.230 --> 00:27:14.913
I know Mr Childs.

00:27:14.913 --> 00:27:17.833
Yep, I still get texts from people in my hometown.

00:27:17.833 --> 00:27:20.133
They're like did you really just talk about Mr Childs?

00:27:20.133 --> 00:27:22.250
Have we found him yet?

00:27:22.250 --> 00:27:23.990
He's alive and well.

00:27:23.990 --> 00:27:26.210
I mean, some of my friends still live in my hometown.

00:27:26.250 --> 00:27:26.711
Is he still?

00:27:26.730 --> 00:27:31.386
hot, yes, okay, and his wife's hot, they're like a hot power couple.

00:27:31.386 --> 00:27:32.789
Oh, my Dave's hot, they're like a hot power couple.

00:27:32.830 --> 00:27:36.179
Oh my gosh, speaking of hot power couples, talk to me.

00:27:36.179 --> 00:27:42.474
So I went down the Love is Blind UK rabbit hole this weekend.

00:27:42.474 --> 00:27:43.939
All right, becca.

00:27:46.689 --> 00:27:48.104
Is there an actual hot power couple?

00:27:48.104 --> 00:27:49.568
I don't know what they're doing over there.

00:27:49.769 --> 00:27:51.935
But damn, is it the accent?

00:27:51.935 --> 00:27:59.635
I don't know if it's the accent or what, but, good Lord, I mean there is one on there that I pegged for you real quick.

00:27:59.635 --> 00:28:01.250
He owns a CrossFit gym.

00:28:01.250 --> 00:28:09.397
I don't know what his name is, I don't know all the names yet, but I'm like Becca should hop on a flight and hit that up real quick.

00:28:09.397 --> 00:28:11.672
He is cute.

00:28:11.672 --> 00:28:13.490
Wait, now, I'm going to have to watch.

00:28:13.490 --> 00:28:14.517
You're going to have to watch.

00:28:14.517 --> 00:28:15.403
You're going to have to watch.

00:28:15.403 --> 00:28:17.109
Yeah, but there's this couple.

00:28:17.305 --> 00:28:22.391
So there's this guy named Freddie, and I only know his name because, dear Lord, how sweet.

00:28:22.391 --> 00:28:27.765
Yeah, okay, dear Lord, freddie, freddie, we love Freddie.

00:28:27.765 --> 00:28:31.488
And he paired with this smoking hot girl.

00:28:31.488 --> 00:28:43.416
So the fact that they, you know, they don't see each other, but then they get to see each other and they're both smoke show Like just heat, oh my God, I mean like good gravy.

00:28:43.416 --> 00:28:48.781
So anyway, but now, but now she's starting to be sucky.

00:28:48.781 --> 00:28:53.968
So I'm like all right, freddie, come on, cause he's so cute and he's 32, but he is sweet.

00:28:53.968 --> 00:28:57.030
Because he's so cute and he's 32, but he is sweet and he owns a funeral home.

00:28:57.030 --> 00:28:58.732
He's a funeral director.

00:28:58.732 --> 00:29:07.842
I'm going to need you to tune in because for nothing else but for the eye candy I know I'm probably going to have to tune in.

00:29:12.045 --> 00:29:13.388
The funeral home funeral director thing cracks me up.

00:29:13.388 --> 00:29:17.969
One of my favorite people she was my longtime right-hand man in a retail setting.

00:29:17.969 --> 00:29:24.993
Um, beautiful, like the short little beautiful girl, she actually went to school for mortuary science, it's like what?

00:29:24.993 --> 00:29:37.128
So she oh my God, seriously, yes, so like she had to live in this old lady's house because there's actually very few schools for that old lady's house, because there's actually very few schools for that.

00:29:37.128 --> 00:29:42.621
She had to, like, rent a room from her in this random place in the upstate and she would tell me the craziest stories.

00:29:43.866 --> 00:29:45.050
Oh my God, do you remember any of them?

00:29:45.050 --> 00:29:46.054
Because I feel like I would really.

00:29:47.247 --> 00:29:47.769
Yeah, plenty.

00:29:47.769 --> 00:29:50.496
Some of them are just funny because she was actually really chaotic.

00:29:50.496 --> 00:29:51.506
She had like beautiful hair.

00:29:51.506 --> 00:29:55.412
Her name's Danielle I don't know if she listens, but we still chat.

00:29:55.412 --> 00:29:56.613
She's a stunner.

00:29:56.613 --> 00:30:02.227
I mean she's a smoke show, beautiful, curly hair, the whole thing, like eyelashes.

00:30:02.227 --> 00:30:05.916
But she I used to joke that her name was dan because she acted like a bully.

00:30:05.916 --> 00:30:09.298
There'd be like coffee stains everywhere, like half open yogurt.

00:30:09.298 --> 00:30:10.121
It's like she.

00:30:10.221 --> 00:30:13.190
We basically lived together and we're roommates.

00:30:13.190 --> 00:30:16.145
When we traveled I I'd be like Dan, dan, dan.

00:30:16.145 --> 00:30:25.114
She used to drive me crazy, but, um, the, when they had to do like their final for makeup and stuff they give you like the face to take home to work on.

00:30:25.114 --> 00:30:27.286
And she also had a job at like a golf club.

00:30:27.286 --> 00:30:39.546
She left in the back of the car and melded to her seat and I'd be like Dan and I'd be like Dan.

00:30:39.546 --> 00:30:39.846
What Like you?

00:30:39.846 --> 00:30:50.125
She was chaotic, like that you know, and she is an artist and she actually does a ton of like home improvement and home decorating, which makes so much sense now, cause she just has an eye Like she always looked beautiful and everything.

00:30:50.125 --> 00:30:53.134
She could take the cheapest piece of jewelry and something about her.

00:30:53.134 --> 00:30:54.766
She would put it on and it would look incredible.

00:30:55.907 --> 00:30:57.309
Oh, those people, I wish I could.

00:30:57.670 --> 00:31:03.057
It was the first person in their class to actually have to like open a cadaver, and she passed out cold.

00:31:03.057 --> 00:31:05.260
Oh my God, I would die.

00:31:08.984 --> 00:31:15.895
I put my knife in and I moved in and she's like I just out Mortuary science, mortuary science is what she went to school for.

00:31:15.895 --> 00:31:17.838
That's so interesting.

00:31:22.664 --> 00:31:27.734
She actually didn't follow it because it ended up being a hard career to follow, because a lot of the funeral home business is passed down through families.

00:31:27.734 --> 00:31:39.788
Yeah, to get in to be a funeral director proved to be more challenging than she had hoped, but I mean her path now, looking back like, seems very clear.

00:31:39.788 --> 00:31:42.214
She's exactly where she needs to be.

00:31:42.295 --> 00:31:44.950
She has like why did she want to do that?

00:31:45.625 --> 00:31:47.608
Well she, so that comes from.

00:31:47.608 --> 00:31:50.095
She lost her dad when she was really young.

00:31:50.095 --> 00:32:05.477
I think there is some like linking there, of like being young and having this curiosity about just all of the different pieces, but ultimately it turned itself into this really artistic, like beautiful soul.

00:32:06.625 --> 00:32:08.913
What did you want to be when you were growing up?

00:32:10.346 --> 00:32:15.097
You know, to be honest with you, and this is going to sound really obnoxious, but I've always been obsessed with marketing.

00:32:15.097 --> 00:32:19.708
There is and I'm going to, I don't remember the name there was this movie.

00:32:19.708 --> 00:32:32.075
Jenna Aniston was in it and they were doing a marketing campaign and the office made them stay late, like overnight, and it was for mustard, and she said number two.

00:32:34.471 --> 00:32:36.171
Oh my God, I'm obsessed with that movie too.

00:32:36.171 --> 00:32:36.705
What the F?

00:32:36.705 --> 00:32:37.288
Is the name of it?

00:32:37.288 --> 00:32:41.565
It's um, yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:32:41.744 --> 00:32:47.292
And then she's like Gildan's mustard, yes, and she comes up with a campaign like number two, and that ain't bad, yep.

00:32:47.292 --> 00:32:56.933
And then, um, there's the one with what's his name, with the dark hair, what women want, and then, oh my god, yes, thank you.

00:32:56.933 --> 00:33:00.428
Obsessed, obsessed.

00:33:00.428 --> 00:33:08.952
And those two movies, for whatever reason, like that, specifically that mustard, like this idea of, like creative concept, and like number two, and that ain't bad.

00:33:08.952 --> 00:33:10.897
I was really obsessed with that.

00:33:10.897 --> 00:33:30.075
I ended up going into retail because I got recruited to it, but it's no shock to me that I'm back here because my brain just thinks of that stuff all day long I'll look at somebody's logo and be like remember the Buzzsprout logo?

00:33:30.455 --> 00:33:32.967
Oh my God, they tried to change that, but I was obsessed with it.

00:33:32.967 --> 00:33:39.694
Because I'm like oh my God, but I was obsessed with it Cause I'm like did nobody in the meeting say what are we doing with this previous logo?

00:33:39.694 --> 00:33:40.736
It looked so phallic.

00:33:40.736 --> 00:33:41.537
It did.

00:33:41.537 --> 00:33:42.218
It looks like.

00:33:43.219 --> 00:33:52.027
I know it's a lighting bolt and completely on brand, yeah, where I'll see where people like change packaging.

00:33:52.027 --> 00:33:52.948
I watched this um fertility group that I love.

00:33:52.948 --> 00:34:00.099
I didn't have fertility issues, but I've been following them forever online because they make other supplements for women and they used to have.

00:34:00.099 --> 00:34:04.916
Their colors were purple and yellow and the way they worked together was so fun.

00:34:04.916 --> 00:34:14.436
And then they recently changed it to be a scrub green and my mind is like, as a fertility company, like would you make?

00:34:14.436 --> 00:34:17.039
Would you associate scrub green?

00:34:17.039 --> 00:34:21.251
That like that seems more like infertility and hospital.

00:34:21.251 --> 00:34:25.005
Yeah, but like my brain goes immediately down what path?

00:34:25.005 --> 00:34:26.869
I can't like pull myself out of it.

00:34:26.869 --> 00:34:31.949
Or I'll see like a logo going by on the side of the road and like what does that make me think of?

00:34:33.050 --> 00:34:34.393
I feel like I'm definitely like that too.

00:34:34.393 --> 00:34:38.320
I feel like I give unsolicited marketing and sales advice everywhere I go.

00:34:39.005 --> 00:34:40.289
On accident and on purpose.

00:34:41.512 --> 00:34:42.795
No, mine's a hundred percent on purpose.

00:34:43.184 --> 00:34:49.277
When I was in Lake Norman, summer was driving and she pulled over so I could.

00:34:49.277 --> 00:34:55.356
She noticed it and it was, for it was marketing for this part of the mall that was being redone.

00:34:55.356 --> 00:35:07.878
So it had huge fencing with like webbing through the fence so you couldn't see, but there was like they had purposely made these very thoughtful cutouts and there was a marketing message next to it and she was like you have to get a picture of that.

00:35:07.878 --> 00:35:09.164
And I wasn't even paying attention.

00:35:09.164 --> 00:35:10.547
I'm like this is so brilliant.

00:35:10.547 --> 00:35:14.632
But like she caught it and pulled over for me, I was like you're a love language for me right now.

00:35:14.632 --> 00:35:15.594
I'll share it.

00:35:15.594 --> 00:35:27.987
But I was like something about being so witty, like that, not saying I'm witty, but like I can't help but pay attention to like those thoughtful little quips or whatever.

00:35:27.987 --> 00:35:28.949
I live for it.

00:35:29.371 --> 00:35:31.436
Yeah, same Okay, so what?

00:35:31.456 --> 00:35:32.338
did you think you were going to be?

00:35:32.764 --> 00:35:33.608
Like I said, a teacher.

00:35:33.608 --> 00:35:36.376
I really thought like kindergarten teacher.

00:35:41.211 --> 00:35:43.976
I only know you in your adult life, but that seems like a stretch.

00:35:44.836 --> 00:35:46.159
But here's the thing, okay.

00:35:46.199 --> 00:35:46.679
Tell me about it.

00:35:47.246 --> 00:35:50.264
I'm going to take it back to our first episode.

00:35:50.264 --> 00:35:56.637
It was either our first or second episode where we talked about the town that I grew up in.

00:35:56.637 --> 00:36:04.211
You go to school, you graduate college, you become a teacher, you get married when you're 22.

00:36:04.211 --> 00:36:07.974
That is truly a lot of where I come from.

00:36:07.974 --> 00:36:15.496
So I often wonder did I really want to be a teacher or did I just think that that was what I was supposed to do where I'm from?

00:36:15.496 --> 00:36:22.893
Yeah, If that makes any sense, Cause I'm like you know I can't.

00:36:24.036 --> 00:36:26.369
That's just you know what that might be.

00:36:26.369 --> 00:36:31.335
That might be representation, not to be like cause.

00:36:31.335 --> 00:36:57.978
We're going to do this in a nonpolitical way, but this idea of like representation matters, whether it's like seeing women in, you know, like male dominated fields, but like I grew up in a small town too and if you only see the jobs being like the school nurse or the lunch lady or the teacher or working at the vet hospital, like that is kind of your idea of like what's available and I don't know, but you know it was ironic.

00:37:00.364 --> 00:37:02.722
My mom was a lineman for the power company.

00:37:02.722 --> 00:37:06.309
So I mean, right, isn't that crazy.

00:37:06.309 --> 00:37:10.916
Yes, I don't know, I don't know where that came from, but yeah, I was hell bent.

00:37:10.916 --> 00:37:15.514
I mean I'm talking like, yeah, hell bent on, being a kindergarten teacher was hell bent.

00:37:15.514 --> 00:37:23.431
I mean I'm talking like, yeah, hell bent on being a kindergarten teacher but I'm really glad that I'm not, because you would have gone immediately I would have gone.

00:37:23.512 --> 00:37:34.190
I have a friend who was a teacher and moved into the more like school district side and education side and like does more management of like funding and things like that you would have immediately gotten replaced.

00:37:34.231 --> 00:37:36.775
Yeah, I just, I love, I love business.

00:37:36.775 --> 00:37:38.018
It's just, it's my jam.

00:37:38.018 --> 00:37:39.963
I love everything about it.

00:37:39.963 --> 00:37:40.744
I don't know.

00:37:40.744 --> 00:37:49.148
I love that we've taken like a, like a turn and talked about like college and like our younger, younger selves.

00:37:49.409 --> 00:37:50.150
Well, I was well.

00:37:50.150 --> 00:37:54.237
So when I was at home too, I my favorite coffee mug is a UB mug.

00:37:54.237 --> 00:37:56.219
It's like a nice, it's a really big mug.

00:37:56.219 --> 00:37:57.547
My mom has two.

00:37:57.547 --> 00:38:02.226
But when I reached up and saw I was like how does she are these mine Like?

00:38:02.226 --> 00:38:03.753
Are these her mugs or my mugs?

00:38:05.347 --> 00:38:06.331
Is Cindy sentimental?

00:38:06.331 --> 00:38:07.246
Like has she kept?

00:38:07.246 --> 00:38:10.115
Like your room intact and like all of your things?

00:38:10.565 --> 00:38:19.092
No, she did for a little, and it's not which, thank God, because now that room that I had has like a king size bed, which is really where my jam is.

00:38:19.092 --> 00:38:22.259
Are you sentimental?

00:38:22.259 --> 00:38:27.353
I am very sentimental, but I'm a minimalist.

00:38:27.753 --> 00:38:29.798
You are, and I love that about you because I'm not.

00:38:30.726 --> 00:38:33.070
I am a minimalist and I'm sentimental.

00:38:33.070 --> 00:38:43.184
So, like, I do have like a coffee cup that was my grandfather's and I have like little things, but I don't hold onto this idea that everything means that person.

00:38:43.184 --> 00:38:51.251
So I can like let certain things go, but like, the coffee cup is important to me and I have a couple of sweatshirt Yep, the sweatshirt and I have.

00:38:51.251 --> 00:38:58.414
Um, when I was home I took some of my mom's jewelry back and some of it's just like costume jewelry that was my great grandmother's.

00:38:58.414 --> 00:39:08.831
But like, um, actually there was this is so interesting because you know how I am there was this star pendant that has a very dark piece of Jade inside of it.

00:39:08.831 --> 00:39:10.956
Ooh, I love Jade, same.

00:39:10.956 --> 00:39:11.557
So there's two.

00:39:11.557 --> 00:39:17.771
There was like a light Jade one and a dark, dark jade one, and I was like I wonder what that means and of course you know I'm the.

00:39:17.771 --> 00:39:20.726
Everything has meaning everything's an angel, everything's.

00:39:20.726 --> 00:39:24.175
So I asked chat chip tea and dark dark jade.

00:39:24.175 --> 00:39:30.356
It means spiritual protection and I was like it's the same as the evil eye and all the other things.

00:39:30.356 --> 00:39:33.588
And so it was like you're not gonna wear this and make me this.

00:39:33.588 --> 00:39:35.474
Oh, I love that it found you.

00:39:36.005 --> 00:39:40.056
And then these hoops that I just recently switched to were.

00:39:40.056 --> 00:39:41.201
I also found them.

00:39:41.201 --> 00:39:46.016
They were literally the ones that my mom wore all through when I was growing up.

00:39:46.016 --> 00:39:51.811
She always had them in, so we came across them in one of her jewelry boxes and I was like are you going to wear these?

00:39:51.811 --> 00:39:53.153
And she's like if you're going to wear them, take them.

00:39:53.153 --> 00:39:53.594
I don't want them.

00:39:53.594 --> 00:39:57.028
I was like, but this is the pair you always wore, so now I put them in.

00:39:57.590 --> 00:40:00.309
I love that I am sentimental, like that.

00:40:00.309 --> 00:40:01.690
I'm very sentimental.

00:40:01.690 --> 00:40:03.632
So my mother is not.

00:40:03.632 --> 00:40:13.628
She threw everything away, like to the point that I mean I had like a meltdown one time when I went home because I was like you threw everything away.

00:40:13.628 --> 00:40:15.152
She just doesn't, she hates stuff.

00:40:15.514 --> 00:40:16.195
She hates stuff.

00:40:16.195 --> 00:40:19.614
I have my varsity jacket.

00:40:19.614 --> 00:40:23.695
I have my warm-ups from my club and my high school no.

00:40:23.695 --> 00:40:26.833
My mom has the important things in a little.

00:40:27.686 --> 00:40:29.213
I honestly had the thought this morning.

00:40:29.213 --> 00:40:31.753
I wonder if my yearbooks are somewhere in my home.

00:40:32.186 --> 00:40:33.110
I have my yearbooks here.

00:40:33.164 --> 00:40:34.590
I think she threw all those away too.

00:40:34.590 --> 00:40:36.885
She's just not a stuff person.

00:40:37.326 --> 00:40:39.847
My mom handed a few things off, and I do have my yearbooks.

00:40:40.088 --> 00:40:41.367
So I'm the opposite.

00:40:41.367 --> 00:40:52.034
So I legit keep everything for my daughter Like I'm that person every five years and we're coming up on she's about to be 10.

00:40:52.034 --> 00:40:53.034
So I'm going to make her another one.

00:40:53.034 --> 00:40:56.117
I do quilts of her clothes that she wears.

00:40:56.117 --> 00:40:59.719
So I've been saving clothes since she was five and I'll do another quilt.

00:40:59.719 --> 00:41:07.282
I save probably 50% of her artwork that I have like jammed in ballet slippers.

00:41:07.282 --> 00:41:11.855
I mean it is excessive.

00:41:11.855 --> 00:41:23.007
So yesterday oh, that is probably we started purging her room and I'm like, clark, we've, we've got to get rid of some of these stuffed animals.

00:41:23.007 --> 00:41:28.867
Because I look at your kids rooms I'm like, why, why can my life not look like that?

00:41:30.389 --> 00:41:31.873
my kids room looks crazy sometimes.

00:41:31.873 --> 00:41:36.746
I mean, I'm no, I don't there are stuffed animals in the closet.

00:41:36.806 --> 00:41:40.911
There's, I know but it's so like organized and like whatever.

00:41:40.911 --> 00:41:46.117
But here's the challenge with my sweet daughter She'll, I'm like, let's get rid of this one.

00:41:46.117 --> 00:42:04.827
She's like, oh, but we won this at the fair and grandma was with us, and I'm like, so it's every piece of thing in her room that she knows who gave it to her, she has a story about it, she knows when she got it, and then she feels bad giving it away because she's like, well, they gave it to me.

00:42:04.827 --> 00:42:07.534
Like even yesterday she was like talking to me.

00:42:07.534 --> 00:42:09.405
She said, well, here, why don't you give this to Rebecca?

00:42:09.405 --> 00:42:13.952
It's hot pink Like, she's that thoughtful, like, and I love it.

00:42:13.952 --> 00:42:18.978
But I'm like I am drowning in shit at my house.

00:42:18.978 --> 00:42:24.034
Like, legitimately, I need you to come, maria Kondo.

00:42:24.034 --> 00:42:28.309
My house, I can't, I can't with it anymore.

00:42:28.610 --> 00:42:29.273
It's so bad.

00:42:29.273 --> 00:42:33.650
The worst part I'm like we can definitely do that, but there's a part of me that's just like that.

00:42:33.650 --> 00:42:39.027
I know deeply in my soul that this thing doesn't represent this person.

00:42:41.295 --> 00:42:43.280
Come tell my mom that, come tell my daughter.

00:42:43.280 --> 00:42:44.483
I would really appreciate that.

00:42:47.489 --> 00:43:04.394
I have to tell you, first I will pick like certain things that I am like unwilling to like leave part with, basically, but then I have other things where I'm like it's really important to me that I get my own Cause.

00:43:04.394 --> 00:43:22.733
Sometimes I feel like when you hold on to things that are from the past like some people will hold on to all of the furniture somebody had I had a neighbor who moved out recently that had all of the furniture from her parents Like what, at what point are you allowed to then also have like your own self-expression and your own things and like I agree.

00:43:22.934 --> 00:43:26.588
Yeah, I had to part with a dining room table that was cherry.

00:43:26.588 --> 00:43:29.673
I didn't have to, I felt the need to.

00:43:29.673 --> 00:43:37.653
I was afraid to tell my parents that I was going to let go of this dining room table that was cherry, but I also didn't serve me like it.

00:43:37.653 --> 00:43:39.436
I didn't like using it.

00:43:39.436 --> 00:43:41.159
It was oval, it didn't fit my space.

00:43:41.159 --> 00:43:42.447
Well, it was really frustrating.

00:43:42.447 --> 00:43:56.782
Um, I had to come up with ideas to paint it and everyone had kind of flipped out about it and the house that it went to took it completely apart and made it into a gorgeous TV stand that I could have never like.

00:43:56.782 --> 00:43:58.407
She sent me pictures like a year later.

00:43:58.407 --> 00:44:12.034
Her dad was a tinkerer and so she gave it to him as a project and he completely and made it this incredible TV stand and I was like, okay, that gives me peace, but I will hold on, like the craft drawer that's in the office.

00:44:12.034 --> 00:44:12.996
It's from my grandfather.

00:44:14.405 --> 00:44:14.927
I love that.

00:44:14.927 --> 00:44:16.032
That's a great piece too.

00:44:16.585 --> 00:44:21.400
But it's just like I'm like a sprinkling of things, it's good.

00:44:21.621 --> 00:44:31.577
Yeah, because I tell you, my great uncle passed away in I guess it was 2018 and I handled his estate sale.

00:44:31.577 --> 00:44:36.311
And let me tell you something Nobody wants that shit.

00:44:36.311 --> 00:44:37.686
Nobody wants it.

00:44:37.686 --> 00:45:04.836
I mean, it comes down to like you're standing in a room of you know things that people worked their lives to pay for and buy, right, and then here it is, you're marking it down to two dollars because you're trying to get rid of it and it just becomes like so that really I will say that put things in perspective for me with just stuff like furniture.

00:45:04.996 --> 00:45:08.248
If somebody had to sort out my things like, what would?

00:45:08.248 --> 00:45:12.597
I do definitely like think about that, Like what do you like?

00:45:12.617 --> 00:45:13.025
what do you mean?

00:45:13.606 --> 00:45:25.018
Like first of all, I wouldn't want them to be drowning in, like I wouldn't want it to be so full that one of my children is so overwhelmed by that task.

00:45:25.018 --> 00:45:26.306
I feel like that's really unfair.

00:45:26.306 --> 00:45:28.492
So I do think about that a lot.

00:45:28.492 --> 00:45:37.177
We have a family member who is a big keeper of things and I'm like that's a lot of pressure, should something happen, to have to sort through.

00:45:37.177 --> 00:45:45.286
Like that feels unfair.

00:45:45.286 --> 00:45:51.632
Yeah, especially if you don't have the tools, like let's say, where my brothers and I like I don't know if one of my brothers has the tools to go through those things and let a certain amount of appropriate things go.

00:45:51.632 --> 00:46:02.179
You know that takes a certain amount of growth, yeah, or mindset or whatever I mean you just I think about what it would be like to task someone with that, and then with the girls.

00:46:02.445 --> 00:46:06.934
I mean I'm a big like we had the moment, we had the whatever.

00:46:06.934 --> 00:46:25.666
But if we want different things or we want to grow or we want more things, we have to decide that at some point we are done with this and it's not the memory we get to keep the memory yeah, but we're working on that in my house the drowning I did watch a lot of hoarders, though, in high school.

00:46:27.010 --> 00:46:36.373
That show gives me the creeps same, but they're the idea that you can actually accidentally drown yourself in your own things very much like stuck with me.

00:46:37.155 --> 00:46:38.317
But I love a purge.

00:46:38.317 --> 00:46:39.418
Do you love a purge?

00:46:40.565 --> 00:46:42.692
I am the queen of purging.

00:46:42.692 --> 00:46:46.211
When I get stressed, my mom will be like I don't even know where you're finding things to throw out.

00:46:48.005 --> 00:46:49.150
Yeah, I stress clean.

00:46:49.150 --> 00:46:54.684
I'm like that too, like if I am feeling like I need to channel, like stress or whatever.

00:46:54.684 --> 00:46:58.146
I'm definitely a person who, like, I'm going to clean out the spice cabinet.

00:46:59.188 --> 00:47:00.693
Well, I'm a big like um.

00:47:00.693 --> 00:47:06.554
I had another incident that happened in my adult life where it was in New York and actually it was the flood, the.

00:47:06.554 --> 00:47:12.827
It was a hurricane I don't remember what the name of it was that came through like Coney Island in New York city and like it was hurricane Sandy.

00:47:12.827 --> 00:47:15.076
I worked that hurricane, yeah, hurricane Sandy.

00:47:15.076 --> 00:47:32.978
So one of my very good friends at the time like we were working for loft, we were very close she lost her house to the hurricane in Binghamton and she's called me from her front yard and said she was hysterical.

00:47:33.079 --> 00:47:38.847
She was like they're shit Christmas ornaments and all of my things are all over my front yard.

00:47:38.847 --> 00:47:56.235
And I just then, when we moved here like I I can literally hear her to this day being hysterical about her things in her front yard, cause she was the police basically came to her door and like boats and said, like now's the moment you have to go, like you cannot stay a minute longer and they lost everything.

00:47:56.235 --> 00:48:01.157
And like I always think about like her and her Christmas ornaments on her front lawn.

00:48:01.157 --> 00:48:06.315
And so whenever we get close to hurricane season, I'm like I'm not picking this up off the lawn, I'm not picking this up off the lawn.

00:48:06.315 --> 00:48:08.951
And then that's how I choose what goes.

00:48:08.951 --> 00:48:15.791
I'm like you can either it can either fit in the back of your truck when you have to leave, or you are picking it up off the front lawn, yep.

00:48:15.791 --> 00:48:18.838
And so then that's how I decide those categories.

00:48:18.998 --> 00:48:19.838
I really like that.

00:48:19.838 --> 00:48:23.931
That's I need you to come to my home and that's why I have the binder.

00:48:25.226 --> 00:48:32.934
Your binder is like that is everybody, everybody's birth certificate, everybody's passport, everybody's last vaccination record.

00:48:32.934 --> 00:48:37.952
The binder comes wherever, like that's an, that's a quick grab.

00:48:37.952 --> 00:48:42.860
I'm not leaving it in a fire or anything because I don't know how else to get that information back.

00:48:42.860 --> 00:48:43.744
I have to take the binder.

00:48:43.744 --> 00:48:45.893
Yeah, you're very organized.

00:48:45.893 --> 00:48:47.519
I need to get it, need to get it together.

00:48:47.519 --> 00:48:49.106
It probably needs a little bit of love.

00:48:49.106 --> 00:48:52.996
But I didn't realize we were going to start hurricane season in, uh, july, basically.

00:48:53.016 --> 00:48:55.269
So I know that's yeah debbie.

00:48:55.751 --> 00:49:04.987
But yeah, no, I think of oc nelly telling me and that she was picking stuff out of her front yard and I'm like, would I want to have to pick this up with poop on it out of my front yard?

00:49:04.987 --> 00:49:09.394
No, but it made an impact on me.

00:49:10.797 --> 00:49:12.119
We've gone wild today.

00:49:13.327 --> 00:49:17.835
Today's the mayhem yep, yep, and then we're back with a guest.

00:49:19.259 --> 00:49:23.315
Yes, and we're working on more guests and there's some great guests.

00:49:23.425 --> 00:49:24.389
I'm so excited for fall.

00:49:24.605 --> 00:49:27.293
I'm already working on like season finale things.

00:49:27.293 --> 00:49:29.077
We're working on season finale.

00:49:29.326 --> 00:49:35.259
We like literally set up guests for how you're going to plan your impact in 2025.

00:49:35.259 --> 00:49:42.398
We're already talking about guests to help you, like, decipher your new year goals, like we're who are we?

00:49:42.398 --> 00:49:44.112
Who are we right now?

00:49:44.112 --> 00:49:45.487
It must be back to school.

00:49:45.949 --> 00:49:47.612
Back to school, back to routine.

00:49:47.612 --> 00:49:49.195
I love it.

00:49:49.195 --> 00:49:50.438
All right, guys.

00:49:50.438 --> 00:49:53.409
Thanks for tuning in and we will see you next week.