WEBVTT
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sweet potato pie and I shut my mouth you gotta sing it just like a song.
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You were just singing it.
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Gone, gone with the wind ain't nobody coming back again y'all everybody it was the pecan pie comment last week that barista is taking me to school I can't believe you didn't shit my mic's, not on minor detail ain't that something?
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ain't that something.
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So that reminded me the pecan pie of a story that I heard of our girls christmas two years ago here locally.
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One of them has a mom, one of my friends who is a widow, and one of our friends has an extremely attractive husband.
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Okay, well, her mom.
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She takes her mom everywhere she goes because her mom's widowed.
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You see that man's arms?
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Ain't that something?
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I feel like you told me about this moment before.
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I don't think I told you in a recording.
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She'll be like do you see his tan?
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Ain't that something?
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Every time they're with him, they get in the car.
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And it'll be like do you see that tan?
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Ain't that something?
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Every time they're with him, they get in the car.
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It'll be like do you see that?
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Ain't that something?
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ain't that something?
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that is like my favorite southern mama.
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Do you see that man's forearms?
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Ain't that something?
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I wish that my mama would say stuff like that.
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She does not say stuff like.
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She sounds kind of southern never, ever, said a word to me about how it's me.
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I'm like, oh my god where was that the other day?
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And I was like we were talking about something and it was somebody said like a real southern saying it god darn, I wish I could remember it was a good one, this stuff because I like to use it like ain't that, something ain't that, something ain't that something.
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You see a man squads.
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Did you ever follow those like real southern girls where they like did all the southern sayings?
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No, oh, they're funny, like real funny.
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I'll have to find that those real something though cracks me up.
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I feel like it's a really southern mom way of being like damn damn, gina.
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No, my mom has never said anything like that.
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I know my mom thought tom cruise was really attractive in top gun, but like the top buddy's hot back in the day he was, that's when that is the closest, yeah yeah, like og top gun, yeah, um.
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So, speaking of smoking guns, hot, I cannot believe I haven't told you the story was it for me?
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I mean, it could be when we were in new york we had dinner at this jazz bar slash restaurant called the roxy, and we both just watched the show.
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Guess who freaking walked in?
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Who?
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Stephen Colbert Liev Schreiber from the Perfect Couple the dad Smoke show.
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Dude, I normally don't like a gray man, although I'm not opposed.
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I love that there are a few out there he is Because we were sitting like literally right by.
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Is it just the fact that he, just like, exudes testosterone, but not in the like your brain is going to be?
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I will say this you felt a presence before you saw him.
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Like it was one of those things, like I felt a presence.
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I looked up at the hostess stand.
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I was like, oh, that guy looks familiar.
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I'm like, holy shit, that's the deal from the perfect couple I'm telling you, you can't dying dying.
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His wife is like 22 and like blonde and hot like he's under the spell.
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I will tell you this, though I I think we should briefly talk about, because I have a few girls nights coming up, and one of my favorite things to do is renew my Hinge membership before a girls' night, because, you know, I'd love to just hand it off.
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Yes.
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So I did two days ago.
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I would like to talk about something.
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Let's see.
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It's one very specific thing that they all have, and it's specifically the older ones.
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I'm going to show you a picture, but this, this comment again Green flags I look for Active, playful, communicates, great smile.
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I take great care of myself.
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I hope you do as well.
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They all look like this.
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We won't show it too fast or we'll show it really fast.
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You can't tell if it's like anyone that you know, but like and that one looks.
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Oh, I'll get you close up later, but I just want to.
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I want to change mine, I think briefly, to be like, please don't tell me about your workout.
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I understand that the aesthetic is there, but like I'd like to know what real work you've done.
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I'd like to know what narcissistic habits you've broken since your most recent marriage ended seriously and me, or therapy bill but like.
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Why do they not like ask questions or like talk about like themselves?
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It's not in such a superficial way.
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I just hate that they think it's enough to have gone to the gym yeah you going to the gym is not what put me in almost a coma mentally after my like.
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I just feel like it's like the least interesting, I don't know.
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Like give me something good, like what book did you read?
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Like visual people.
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So like, is that the problem?
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They just like stare at you and they stare at themselves, but like I, that isn't.
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That doesn't count, as I take great care of myself.
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Do you, do you, john, do you, or do you just have muscles?
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I like a muscle there.
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Also, I think it is important for you to know that somebody's dad that I know very well matched Shut up.
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I obviously did not let the match happen.
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Speaking of dilfs.
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But I'm like I don't know if you're paying attention at the events that we both attend, but it would have been more appropriate just to pull me aside, but to use this.
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That's awkward AF, I know, and so I'm just leaving it in purgatory yeah, I definitely keep the hinge.
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I feel like it's good content so much for you.
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I'm thankful for hinge.
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I'm so scared.
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It's every time I go in and I'm like okay that's great underbell thankful for hinge.
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Uh, yeah, maybe I'm like doesn't somebody just know like a really nice guy who's been like I'm watching too much hallmark, I think oh for sure, actually one thing there's no such thing as too much hallmark.
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Nothing there is.
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But all those guys are like dreamy and romantic but, but, like where is the man that's been trying to save his family's bakery?
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And it's finally to love.
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He's gay.
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That's why you're not seeing him on hinge, cause he's gay.
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I think some of these boys might be.
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I think they're just trying to find like which do you boo like?
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do your thing, but stop talking about the gym.
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Stop talking about the gym.
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Stop talking about the gym.
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One of the pictures it's only from the chin, it's his very first picture that you see is just his abs, and I actually have a rule.
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I have a couple rules, but if you have abs, it's not for me.
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I think that and I had somebody confirm this the other day.
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But, like, typically, if you have abs, I feel like that's a big red fat flag for narcissism, like you are literally so self-absorbed and like if you have your, he's pulling his shirt up in the picture showing them and I'm like that would be the bigger red flag than the abs themselves, I think for me no, it's the whole thing.
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Like when they have abs, they want to show them.
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That's like they're like.
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I need you not to see my personality.
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I've got something to show you.
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It's right by my dick.
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Sorry, dad.
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I don't know.
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I feel like if I had abs I would flaunt them like that, but I would not make it my profile picture would you flaunt them or would you just like wear them casually to an event?
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would you wear them to PTA?
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no, but I have seen some moms who do.
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There was one mom at our last school that I swear she, I don't she was trying to pull some ass or something, because like she dressed, like I was, like she was going to the club every school event I would like the name of that person okay, yep, happy to provide that yes, yeah, you know I already have a problem with the headbands and the perfect dresses.
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Somebody sent their child to the color run run and the mom was very chill, so I'm not trying to judge her but in a perfect white smocked dress and she was like but it said wear white.
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And I was like, oh dear lord, a beautiful white smocked dress with the color run, like it's gonna be okay.
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It's gonna be okay.
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You know, I love the leggings though.
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Yeah, I don't know, I don't do white anything, I can't.
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I do black everything.
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Well, I mean I do white but I feel like inevitably I get something on it, like I feel like I like travel with a Tide pen for that very reason.
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But then you get like the little spot I know, and then it looks like you just accidentally either drooled your toothpaste or you got caught up in something when you were leaving.
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Are you that person?
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if you're like walking, out the door and you see a spot.
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You like change.
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I typically wear black when I leave.
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You do, yeah, but I would, depending on where I'm going.
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I have this issue right now because I have this amazing flannel jacket I love, but it's going through its shedding stage.
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Yes, you know, I bought one too off Amazon.
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I have this issue right now because I have this amazing flannel jacket I love but it's going through its shedding stage.
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Yeah, yes, you know, I bought one too off Amazon.
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I love it.
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Yeah, like I.
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What's happening is I keep ending up in yoga, looking like I rolled around on my rug before I left.
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I'm like I really need.
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I've put it through the wash and dried it twice.
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I'm like I need you to chill with my shacket.
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It's like one of my uh-huh, it's like one of my favorite words to say I don't know why.
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Yeah, like I said it like at least 20 times in new york, I thought hillary was gonna kill me I really did.
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I tried to wear the costco one but it was too vertical in the shoulder cut and I that I always make like I'm gonna chop wood yeah, I definitely feel like I look a little butch in mine, but I'm just rolling with the flannel, yeah yeah, I mean it is what it is but, like in the costco one, I wanted to love it.
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I really I'm concerned I haven't really tried.
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Clark said it looked good on me, but she is 10 so I worry about it.
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But I think you would know, like the one in costco, I was like and here's the deal, I'm gonna be honest.
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If you have to chop wood or you have to dig a hole, you actually want me on your team.
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I'm fucking badass at digging holes just not a costco jacket.
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I just I want it to be a surprise.
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Yeah, I try to look as feminine as possible.
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I'm actually trying to be in my feminine era.
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I'm trying actually not to do that for you these days.
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Um, I'm just like, if you had to pick someone for your like uh, farmlands team, pick me, I've got the nails I feel like if I like killed night like you, you'd be one of my first calls yeah, easy.
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Well, I think the thing about you is you wouldn't ask questions.
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No, but even if you were building a garden that's how I know I'm good at digging holes I, like my friend Holly and I had built big gardens a few years ago during COVID, and she was like I am shook at how you are just fucking moving dirt right now.
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I was like I got you, I could do this all day.
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I'm built for like the long haul, it doesn't bother me.
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I'm here for that.
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You're on my speed dial.
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Get a few dishwashing gloves and let's go after it.
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See, that's the gloves.
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Gloves are necessary.
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I feel like I can't dig without gloves because it really does hurt your hands.
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You get calluses.
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I know Pilot's actually getting a few rips at gymnastics.
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It's like freaks me out and I try not to think about it, but like so we are grateful.
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Today is Thanksgiving.
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Happy Thanksgiving, you guys.
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We're thankful for you, so thankful, so very thankful it's been.
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I feel like one of our bigger conversations when we first started the podcast was about Thanksgiving Because, remember I was so bitter about it last year I wasn't going to say that God.
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I was like over it.
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Yeah, I think a lot was happening, but the holidays get like that for sure.
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I mean, we all know that Clark Griswold is actually not crazy.
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No, what happened was he was in the throes of holiday and Sparky wasn't crazy, although she was so hot.
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Well, as someone who has, well, I think you just have like all the family dynamics.
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Can you imagine, Like I have four sets of families because both of Nate's and I's parents are divorced?
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Nate's and I parents are divorced.
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I'm like just thinking about having two sets of parents in my home for christmas.
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It makes me want to take a xanax so is that what's happening?
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you're having everyone no, I'm not having anyone.
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We don't do that.
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We specifically split up travel for that very reason.
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That's perfect.
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Yeah, and my dad and them come over for like an hour.
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We usually do Christmas Eve with them.
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Unfortunately, we can't spend time with Nate's parents because they're in Florida, but we spend time with them in November.
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So yeah, but yeah, it's just, it's a lot.
00:13:58.381 --> 00:14:01.811
You're trying to divvy up all the weekends and you know you've got 800 school events.
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Dress like a Grinch day.
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You've got 800 school events.
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Dress like a Grinch day.
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Wear red, wear pajamas, bring popcorn.
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It's like, for fuck's sake, it's literally like pajama day, bring a million dollars to school day.
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I like literally I don't.
00:14:16.691 --> 00:14:26.941
And I have a friend whose dad recently joined on the element, the smaller elementary school guys like a dad's club now.
00:14:26.941 --> 00:14:33.485
So sometimes like the dads are at school shaking hands, which that's cute I saw it is but it's like could you guys do something?
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Could you guys do the bring a million dollars to school day?
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Can you do the color run?
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Would you do more than show up early and not help everyone get these kids dressed for school and then just shake hands like Like it's a very political role for me.
00:14:45.591 --> 00:14:46.905
I just feel like it's a cop out.
00:14:46.905 --> 00:14:52.232
So I'd actually like you guys to make the popcorn wreath or do something that doesn't.
00:14:52.232 --> 00:14:53.364
I just wouldn't.
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That's my vent.
00:14:55.360 --> 00:14:59.267
But now our school, like Nate's so involved I make, he does all the things.
00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:05.711
I mean we know this dad is on the email list and he is shook at how much goes on.
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He's like you don't read these all the time, do you?
00:15:07.642 --> 00:15:11.870
And the wife is like yeah welcome, welcome.
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Well, I don't know how you're doing in this year with two schools oh, it is craziness like I do good to just PTO and be a mom at the same.
00:15:26.135 --> 00:15:34.759
Like I don't know how you do both at both schools Principals letters, two different signing up for different events.
00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:35.943
And then I try to show up.
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A lot of us Like it's like you're never there.
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I'm like, oh no, oh, my God, I would do like what.
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I'm there all the time.
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It's because I didn't throw a color at her color run.
00:15:48.846 --> 00:15:52.385
She's like a little bit upset right now, but I'm like your color runs completely different.
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The spots were full.
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I also don't sit on my personal email.
00:15:57.125 --> 00:16:02.946
If you are emailing my personal email, you are hoping on a wish and a prayer.
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I didn't know.
00:16:04.028 --> 00:16:05.932
I had a water bill for eight months.
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You need to get a grip Like, so hold up.
00:16:11.769 --> 00:16:20.866
If you are emailing my personal email with the 11 spots for color on a giant school, how is anyone getting this?
00:16:22.020 --> 00:16:23.809
Oh, I get it, because I'm getting it, because they're.
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Apple watches and you know I'm not putting that're apple watches and you know I'm not putting that thing back on.
00:16:26.471 --> 00:16:28.014
I know you're not, I know actually.
00:16:28.014 --> 00:16:39.875
Nay, I was waiting for him to change out my band on it and I haven't had it for the past couple of days and it actually hasn't been half bad no, you're allowed to actually focus yeah, but yeah.
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So I feel like from now until december, and I love it, don't get me wrong, I love it, it's just a whole different million dollars a school day that I really got to hustle for.
00:16:49.480 --> 00:16:51.428
That's like the fee and all the business.
00:16:51.921 --> 00:16:52.943
It's all the business.
00:16:52.943 --> 00:16:54.087
I mean it really is.
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We're working.
00:16:54.590 --> 00:16:57.366
We just did a pie fundraiser.
00:16:57.366 --> 00:17:00.408
We sold 281 pies.
00:17:00.408 --> 00:17:02.182
Who's making the pies?
00:17:02.182 --> 00:17:03.823
A guy, citadel mall, a pie pies.
00:17:03.823 --> 00:17:04.384
Who's making the pies?
00:17:04.384 --> 00:17:05.326
A guy at Citadel Mall, a pie store.
00:17:05.326 --> 00:17:10.075
But you girls got to go pick them all up and I'm like are they going to fit in my car?
00:17:12.260 --> 00:17:16.561
Like then I got to divvy them out, but Is it one kind of pie or multiple kinds of pie?
00:17:17.104 --> 00:17:18.209
All the kinds of pie.
00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:19.625
Like this is too hard.
00:17:20.401 --> 00:17:22.840
All the pie, but it was a good fundraiser.
00:17:22.840 --> 00:17:24.844
So you know that was a good fundraiser.
00:17:24.844 --> 00:17:26.066
So you know that was a good idea I had.