Feb. 27, 2025

Rolling with My Homies: A Love Letter to Tina Turner

Rolling with My Homies: A Love Letter to Tina Turner
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Season 5

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“What’s love got to do with it”? … and where’s Tina Turner when you need her? And - what’s an “attachment style”? Does it matter, and why? To be honest with you, we couldn’t tell you but we plan to find a guest who can help us unpack this trendy little term, further. In the meantime though we give it our best shot, from first dates to a fear of love bombing. Are diamonds really a girls best friend (yes, the answer is yes).

We head to chat gpt to unpack the styles - and land somewhere between anxious avoidant, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.  Between gps and location tracking, dates, crime and murder mysteries - our wheels are really turning today. Speaking of - what’s on your nightstand reads right now? Is everyone reading crime books for q1 … what’s that saying? In like a lion - out like a lamb … did we make that up?


Link to a free quiz coming - as promised ! But we still haven’t found we love - so in true mayhem style … if you have one,  more info, or you’re an expert - reach out! We want to go down this rabbit hole with you!

For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:

Insta @marketingandmayhem
YouTube @MarketingMayhemPod

And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!

Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

00:00 - Intro to the Episode

12:30 - Tina Turner Tribute

22:00 - The Impact of Weather on Moods

34:00 - Checking In on Mental Health

46:30 - Life After January: Reflections

58:00 - The Importance of Being Present

01:10:00 - Navigating Group Chats and Friendships

01:20:00 - Waffle House Adventures

01:30:00 - Love Bombing in Modern Dating

WEBVTT

00:00:11.189 --> 00:00:16.795
rolling, rolling, rolling with my homies you remember clueless.

00:00:17.655 --> 00:00:20.402
Oh my god, I was gonna do um proud mary, but all right.

00:00:20.402 --> 00:00:22.166
Yeah, you remember rolling?

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With the homies you remember I just like love tina turner.

00:00:25.693 --> 00:00:32.698
I mean, how do you not, I know, but she was like, um, that was like a big thing for us.

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I like freaking love tina turner.

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Simply the best was our high school senior like theme oh, that's a good one.

00:00:39.020 --> 00:00:43.728
So I have to ask you I have slept with the scar tape on for two nights.

00:00:43.728 --> 00:00:44.829
Do I look younger?

00:00:46.192 --> 00:00:51.264
I mean, you look beautiful, let's start there.

00:00:52.045 --> 00:00:52.686
Thank you.

00:00:52.686 --> 00:00:58.134
Nate was like your skin looks so glowy.

00:00:58.134 --> 00:01:00.040
I was like I'm ovulating.

00:01:01.101 --> 00:01:01.802
Oh, that's what it is.

00:01:01.802 --> 00:01:03.104
I need to ovulate right now.

00:01:03.104 --> 00:01:04.325
My skin is not looking glowy.

00:01:04.325 --> 00:01:06.688
I feel personally victimized by this cold snap.

00:01:07.450 --> 00:01:12.917
Dude it is not well, I need some sunshine.

00:01:13.560 --> 00:01:15.206
I feel like I have jowls right now.

00:01:15.225 --> 00:01:16.388
I'm like what is happening to my skin.

00:01:16.388 --> 00:01:19.106
What you are not.

00:01:19.106 --> 00:01:20.090
You are bananas.

00:01:22.542 --> 00:01:23.867
I can tell that my Botox is gone.

00:01:23.867 --> 00:01:25.305
So how are you?

00:01:25.305 --> 00:01:29.629
Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.

00:01:29.629 --> 00:01:33.524
So I just want to check.

00:01:33.524 --> 00:01:35.831
This is like we're going to call this one a temperature check.

00:01:35.831 --> 00:01:44.450
Is February shooting you out of a cannon, but not in a productive or monetary way.

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I'm like, is this necessary?

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Like does it have to be so rough?

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Like?

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I saw this meme the other day that was like dear Lord.

00:01:52.042 --> 00:01:55.570
When I said rough, I meant man, but I didn't mean like my whole life.

00:01:57.861 --> 00:01:59.948
You do know that we said this about January too.

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January, though, for me was like slow.

00:02:02.745 --> 00:02:05.272
I mean, it was like intense, but slow.

00:02:05.272 --> 00:02:06.399
You called it a slow burn.

00:02:06.399 --> 00:02:13.051
This one feels like I don't know, I feel unwell.

00:02:14.163 --> 00:02:23.326
I feel like, specifically this week, I am prioritizing myself, which I don't do.

00:02:23.326 --> 00:02:37.283
I know like I've been working out a lot and eating better and sleeping better and all the things, and like yesterday, I was like I need to sit down and work and I was like you know what?

00:02:37.283 --> 00:02:39.769
No, I'm going to go get another workout in.

00:02:39.769 --> 00:02:46.390
And so I did some Peloton and Pilates and some core and I felt better for it.

00:02:47.052 --> 00:02:49.264
Yeah, I think that's the yesterday.

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I worked way too much, which is a weird thing to say, but I literally got up early.

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It was behind a computer by seven, 30 after drop off and it kept going until almost 10 o'clock last night and I was like I'm getting waterboarded right now.

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Yeah, I don't love that.

00:03:03.209 --> 00:03:13.592
I mean I am here for work, but I mean I work a good bit on the weekends and nights and all, but just for some reason this week I'm just not really feeling it.

00:03:13.592 --> 00:03:13.913
And I'm just so.

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I said, you know, I'm going to work out and I'm going to take the good girl shower and just while my hair's down.

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I love it, yeah, so, but yes, I love it.

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there's science.

00:03:48.241 --> 00:03:49.526
You guys don't have to tell us like, yes, you do actually.

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No, I'm telling you right now, I get energy from the sun and I'm missing it.

00:03:51.110 --> 00:03:52.596
Right now this I feel personally victimized by this current weather.

00:03:52.596 --> 00:03:53.018
You're solar powered.

00:03:53.018 --> 00:03:53.459
Yes, I'm solar powered.

00:03:53.459 --> 00:03:53.620
You are.

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I really am.

00:03:55.320 --> 00:04:05.092
Well, and I think, just so everybody knows this has been one overcast super rainy.

00:04:05.092 --> 00:04:14.789
Just very, cuddle up and watch Love is Blind, season eight, which I'm not loving it, not loving it at all.

00:04:15.561 --> 00:04:17.047
There's a lot of predatory people.

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I just don't like the people this time and I think, because I'm so jaded because now I'm like I don't know if they really love the other people, Because I feel like it's more of let's just get engaged, we can go on this trip and get Insta famous.

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So I'm kind of I'm really I'm jaded this season.

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I don't even love.

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Love is Blind, we know this.

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But I started watching it because I needed something.

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I needed, I really need to just find a book.

00:04:43.584 --> 00:04:45.607
My friend Myra was like I need a new book.

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I am writing, I needed a brain book.

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Is it a slow burn, though?

00:04:50.213 --> 00:04:51.875
No, I'm not reading any smut.

00:04:51.875 --> 00:04:53.964
I just finished Frida McFadden.

00:04:53.964 --> 00:04:56.228
I was in the mood for a little murder.

00:04:56.228 --> 00:05:01.387
Frida McFadden, the Boyfriend Dude.

00:05:01.387 --> 00:05:11.992
It's about this girl who is dating in New York, and I was reading it, which is probably why I was very concerned about you the other night.

00:05:12.500 --> 00:05:13.887
Oh my God, are we talking about that?

00:05:13.927 --> 00:05:23.153
on the air, we can talk about it on the air, or we don't have to talk about it on the air, but I'm going to need you to read this book because I feel like it's gotten in my head.

00:05:26.060 --> 00:05:26.500
It's a good book.

00:05:26.500 --> 00:05:27.302
I'm never going to gotten in my head.

00:05:27.302 --> 00:05:27.663
It's a good book.

00:05:27.663 --> 00:05:29.507
I'm never going to tell you when I'm going on a date again.

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No don't, you can't handle it.

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No, I can't handle it.

00:05:36.483 --> 00:05:36.824
Let's like.

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I was like I this is so and I love you, so I don't mean anything by this, but I was like this is so out of control for everybody involved.

00:05:47.670 --> 00:05:51.249
Yes, and this cannot be a thing.

00:05:52.802 --> 00:06:00.711
But to be clear, I have been like this, to be clear, you found me a half mile from where I live.

00:06:00.992 --> 00:06:03.146
Correct, still eating dinner.

00:06:03.165 --> 00:06:04.271
Yes, Correct, I live.

00:06:04.271 --> 00:06:06.120
Correct, still eating dinner?

00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:08.547
Yes, correct.

00:06:08.547 --> 00:06:11.084
But in my defense, I have been like this forever.

00:06:11.084 --> 00:06:13.365
You can ask any of my girlfriends in college.

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I just and I blame all of the weird shit that I read and I watch and I understand but then you've got multiple other victims, a hundred percent.

00:06:23.610 --> 00:06:26.942
I will APB that shit if I need to Like.

00:06:26.942 --> 00:06:29.040
Don't even think I'm above doing a wellness checkup.

00:06:29.040 --> 00:06:31.088
I got one person On your door.

00:06:31.639 --> 00:06:34.264
Who's getting Instagram phone calls at work?

00:06:34.526 --> 00:06:41.790
Don't even Don't put it past me Seriously, I blame books like Freedom McFadden's the Boyfriend.

00:06:42.040 --> 00:06:43.923
I'm going to make Nate take away your Freedom.

00:06:43.944 --> 00:06:47.170
McFadden's, I was like I don't tell me, just don't tell me, I do.

00:06:47.230 --> 00:06:49.961
No, I needed to talk to you, though, so that's the whole thing.

00:06:49.961 --> 00:07:02.194
I like actually had this other situation that I needed to talk to you about, and then last minute, I went on a date that like Ooh, just was like the perfect storm, I guess.

00:07:02.194 --> 00:07:20.641
But, like I literally said in the, we were FaceTiming while you were making dinner and I was like and you're like you should go Totally, you're not doing anything else, and then proceeded to literally spin yourself in a full tail, for sure, a hundred percent.

00:07:20.841 --> 00:07:24.447
I thought you were in somebody's basement which I don't even think we have in Charleston.

00:07:24.567 --> 00:07:28.173
Finally, gets my location from a third party.

00:07:28.173 --> 00:07:30.983
Sure, do Exactly where.

00:07:31.064 --> 00:07:35.882
I said I would be, I will find you people, you don't have to look.

00:07:35.882 --> 00:07:37.749
I was exactly where I said I would be.

00:07:37.749 --> 00:07:41.728
Jesus, help me, lord.

00:07:41.728 --> 00:07:43.523
I'm not.

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I'm really.

00:07:44.769 --> 00:07:58.249
I'm concerned for myself when my daughter starts dating I think that maybe it just maybe put me as clark's like backup emergency gun, maybe so, maybe so, and I'll be like she hasn't moved.

00:07:58.249 --> 00:08:10.966
Be grateful that I was that concerned I think you should be grateful that I was on a date and exactly where I said I was going to be, and I was enjoying myself.

00:08:11.026 --> 00:08:11.569
Totally.

00:08:11.569 --> 00:08:24.451
But I mean you are someone let's just set the record straight, someone who is on her phone a good bit, but when you're not, I'm like APB.

00:08:30.620 --> 00:08:31.141
But I took my watch off.

00:08:31.141 --> 00:08:35.070
So this is partially because I took my watch off, because I think it's this weird construct around keeping people small.

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We can go there too.

00:08:36.192 --> 00:08:38.024
I think it keeps people small.

00:08:38.024 --> 00:08:41.480
So and I'm not saying that I'm not judging anybody Like you can wear your watch.

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I love that for you.

00:08:42.801 --> 00:08:44.162
I can give the brief of it.

00:08:44.162 --> 00:08:53.908
I know when I do a run that 100 calories is approximately a mile, but I also know that I don't need to be counting my calories or my workout minutes or any of that.

00:08:53.908 --> 00:09:01.653
I needed to get out of gold star culture a little bit, and if you love a gold star, I get it.

00:09:01.653 --> 00:09:02.193
I'm a gold.

00:09:02.193 --> 00:09:11.309
I am a good girl through and through, which is why I needed to take the watch off, because if I start earning these, I love my watch.

00:09:11.309 --> 00:09:22.571
No, I know Everyone does so does Whitney, but for me I was like these are these arbitrary gold stars and I'm right and it goes right for the dirt every freaking time I'm on the thing.

00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:24.926
She just wants attention.

00:09:25.379 --> 00:09:26.078
I for the dirt every freaking time I'm on the thing.

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She just wants attention.

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I just beeped the shit out of her.

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She's like I'm actually going to go on the couch and lay down.

00:09:28.335 --> 00:09:29.947
I don't think I want to play that game today.

00:09:29.947 --> 00:09:33.250
She literally just ran in here and got right up on her spot and put her head down.

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I was like mm-hmm.

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Thanks Thank you to Kate who told me to get the beeper.

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We're doing great.

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We've only had to have have three full zaps, and one was actually an accident and I felt like a dick about it.

00:09:43.025 --> 00:09:46.950
I bent over and it was in my pocket and I could tell by the way she moved.

00:09:46.950 --> 00:09:47.629
Oh yeah.

00:09:48.150 --> 00:09:49.871
I don't ever buzz Tani because I feel bad.

00:09:50.592 --> 00:09:51.453
Nope.

00:09:51.453 --> 00:10:03.947
So, anyways, I needed to get rid of some of these, especially in the divorce, these arbitrary gold stars, I don't know.

00:10:03.947 --> 00:10:05.716
In the meantime, I also was trying to be more present with my kids and my friends.

00:10:05.716 --> 00:10:06.360
I love that for you, right?

00:10:06.360 --> 00:10:12.532
Well, and before that, I felt very like this anxious pulled energy because it would just keep going off.

00:10:12.532 --> 00:10:18.448
It would go off in my workout, it would go off in my day, we would be at lunch and it would go off, and then people always check it.

00:10:18.448 --> 00:10:22.250
And now I notice when I'm with people that they're always checking it.

00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:32.404
I watch people check it, even in yoga, and I'm like I once knew someone who went like this when he got a text oh, gave you the finger to pause.

00:10:32.404 --> 00:10:35.011
Yes, Gave me the finger to like pause.

00:10:36.299 --> 00:10:36.961
Oh, like.

00:10:36.961 --> 00:10:50.826
So that, to me, is like that's the perfect, most extreme example where it's like hold on, I'm made this time for you, but there's actually this thing that might be potentially more important.

00:10:50.826 --> 00:10:54.724
So just everyone like, hit pause for me, I hate it.

00:10:54.724 --> 00:11:00.361
So then, and you're used to me being on a computer and my, I actually don't lock my phone.

00:11:00.361 --> 00:11:05.121
We know this when I'm like in my house on the daily, because it's just me like who am I going to lock it?

00:11:05.121 --> 00:11:20.043
For my other coworkers One of them just learned how to read and, second of all, they know not to go near my phone, because now my phone's crazy, right, but I had it face up, I just was not paying any attention to it.

00:11:20.043 --> 00:11:35.370
And I look, I go to the bathroom I still not paying attention, because I actually really had to pee and I'm washing my hands and I turn it over and it's got like 29 things and I don't, I don't even know actually where to start, because now it's now I've it's like a novel.

00:11:35.490 --> 00:11:38.222
It's like where do I, where do I go, where?

00:11:38.243 --> 00:11:38.643
do I go?

00:11:38.984 --> 00:11:48.075
there's multiple people involved, like this is a thing Like I'm sorry, I dated for a bit and this is what you did.

00:11:48.075 --> 00:11:55.533
You have like a touch point check-in, like hey, we hadn't set that so like I would have set an alarm.

00:11:56.039 --> 00:11:57.524
You know I have this ADHD.

00:11:57.524 --> 00:12:00.451
I would have set an alarm and been like you would have set an alarm.

00:12:00.451 --> 00:12:03.230
I would have literally, quite literally cause.

00:12:03.230 --> 00:12:05.460
This is how I stay present I set alarms.

00:12:05.460 --> 00:12:09.730
And I would have set an alarm that would be like I didn't even realize what time it was.

00:12:10.120 --> 00:12:10.701
Alarm name.

00:12:10.701 --> 00:12:12.264
Let Jenny know I'm alive.

00:12:12.924 --> 00:12:27.326
Yes, I say alarm, like most bananas alarm names all the time, but they are actually exactly what I need to do and it would have gone off and I would have been like, oh my gosh, I did not realize it's 8.30.

00:12:27.326 --> 00:12:28.788
We've been here for 90 minutes.

00:12:28.788 --> 00:12:29.490
How fun.

00:12:29.490 --> 00:12:42.966
I actually need to let the girls know, and I do tell them that I am like literally like hey, I'm being tracked, I can't hang out with you in the parking lot or whatever it is.

00:12:44.349 --> 00:12:46.841
That was no, it was more of a wellness check.

00:12:46.841 --> 00:12:49.048
It was not I know, but I couldn't even figure out where to start.

00:12:49.089 --> 00:12:50.221
And then there was like a gymnast.

00:12:50.221 --> 00:13:00.826
There's a gymnastic situation last week, which, thank God, I wasn't at gymnastics, but it created like chaos, extracurricular chaos, and so do you, do you like a group chat?

00:13:01.046 --> 00:13:02.567
I feel like you're on a lot of them.

00:13:02.567 --> 00:13:03.889
Do you like a group chat?

00:13:05.210 --> 00:13:16.907
I don't feel strongly, but I also we know this about me I turn off almost everybody's alerts, literally hide alert, hide alert, hide alert, hide alert.

00:13:16.907 --> 00:13:19.400
The gymnastics ones keep my brain straight.

00:13:19.400 --> 00:13:20.525
I can't imagine trying to do this without the group.

00:13:20.525 --> 00:13:20.826
There's no way.

00:13:20.826 --> 00:13:22.996
I can't imagine trying to do this without the group.

00:13:22.996 --> 00:13:26.061
There's no way.

00:13:26.061 --> 00:13:28.743
There's like themes, leotard themes for the week.

00:13:28.743 --> 00:13:37.769
Sometimes there's themes for the meets we have to like, and then the meet times change and then it's like sometimes some of the moms will offer to do like the special braiding and hair.

00:13:37.769 --> 00:13:44.274
I just, I know I choose my participation level, but I don't mind a group chat.

00:13:44.274 --> 00:13:45.955
I learn all kinds of crazy stuff.

00:13:45.955 --> 00:13:49.278
I have a group of friends whose kids are a little bit older than in high school.

00:13:54.386 --> 00:14:06.539
I learned so much on that group chat, interesting About school Love, about like what's actually, because a few of them are teachers so they know like the insider knowledge, whether it's like snow days or whatever.

00:14:06.539 --> 00:14:11.028
If there's a police chase going down 17, are someone that's gonna figure out why they like alert people.

00:14:11.028 --> 00:14:15.826
If there's like cops hiding in the bushes, they're like oh, little speed trap heads up.

00:14:15.826 --> 00:14:19.633
I'm like I love this freaking chat, like I.

00:14:19.633 --> 00:14:25.152
I mean, yeah, it's freaking obnoxious, but I but I do turn all of my alerts off.

00:14:26.640 --> 00:14:27.924
Yeah, I'm alert for everything.

00:14:28.668 --> 00:14:31.288
I know, and I think that's like the watch right.

00:14:31.288 --> 00:14:36.849
I don't have notifications on any of my apps either, not on Instagram, not Hinge.

00:14:37.640 --> 00:14:40.831
I turned mine off on Instagram because I think you did that for me actually.

00:14:42.082 --> 00:14:43.508
Because it will make you crazy.

00:14:47.039 --> 00:14:47.922
It'll make you crazy.

00:14:47.922 --> 00:14:55.553
Well, I just like having a clean screen, like no red and it's that good girl I know like I see I have some.

00:14:55.553 --> 00:14:57.341
Well, to me it's like the type a.

00:14:57.341 --> 00:14:58.543
It makes my eye twitch.

00:14:58.543 --> 00:15:02.948
My dad having 52 000 unread emails.

00:15:02.948 --> 00:15:06.274
I'm like, oh my God, how do you do that?

00:15:07.095 --> 00:15:09.803
But then if you just turn off the notification, that goes away.

00:15:09.803 --> 00:15:16.802
I do let our work email, let me know what's going on, but that's the only one.

00:15:20.147 --> 00:15:22.630
I will say the only I do turn my phone on.

00:15:22.630 --> 00:15:26.306
Sleep at nine o'clock at night, every night, from nine until seven.

00:15:26.919 --> 00:15:29.125
No, I can't do that because I like don't know if somebody will need me.

00:15:29.125 --> 00:15:34.089
Well, it's weird, it's like a whole I don't even know how we got.

00:15:34.089 --> 00:15:37.927
So we started with the watch situation, so we got to, we got to work our way backwards.

00:15:37.927 --> 00:15:41.625
So next time I will set an alarm.

00:15:42.870 --> 00:15:43.511
I'm just don't know.

00:15:46.639 --> 00:15:47.201
Just talk to me afterward.

00:15:47.201 --> 00:15:50.024
Unfortunately, that's just like not how it works, because we literally were on.

00:15:50.024 --> 00:16:22.179
We were on a phone call because I had a girl situation, which we won't go fully into your opinion, because I value your opinion about what's interesting for me this is the part I'm going to share is like I had a period there where I kept things very close to me, like everything, whether it's from my friends or my family, like it was really important for me to figure it all out completely on my own.

00:16:22.179 --> 00:16:38.447
And something has happened in the last, I would say, just 13 months, and I don't know if it's the podcast full or if it's just a weird like perfect witches brew mixture, but I no longer have that at all.

00:16:38.447 --> 00:16:46.187
So I'm hoping we actually sort of like go up right here pretty soon and we kind of find a better like median, but I don't see it coming.

00:16:47.211 --> 00:16:57.577
So now, instead of keeping this to myself, I go to every one of my counselors, my like you know, like in the Godfather, where they sit around the table and they have the heads of the families.

00:16:57.577 --> 00:17:08.008
I do value everyone's opinion and everyone comes to the table with different opinions and I no longer just pick the one that suits me.

00:17:08.008 --> 00:17:11.250
I like actually care about sounding things out.

00:17:11.250 --> 00:17:16.097
So I had this situation last week.

00:17:16.097 --> 00:17:25.862
I had to go to the heads of the families and I had to figure out where we were on this, but it gives me a very Godfather vibe, right Like I got to talk to the heads of the families.

00:17:26.624 --> 00:17:28.126
So, we were talking about this.

00:17:28.497 --> 00:17:28.922
We were.

00:17:29.692 --> 00:17:31.439
Yep, we were having a glass of wine.

00:17:31.439 --> 00:17:33.243
We were on FaceTime.

00:17:33.243 --> 00:17:36.518
I asked if you had time to like catch a drink out and it just wasn't going to work.

00:17:36.518 --> 00:17:40.683
But I was like let's just pour one at home in our pajamas.

00:17:40.683 --> 00:17:42.125
Let's work through this.

00:17:42.125 --> 00:17:45.310
It's the heads of the families.

00:17:45.310 --> 00:17:46.757
It's the heads of the family.

00:17:47.799 --> 00:17:48.782
So how are you?

00:17:48.782 --> 00:17:50.467
Do you want to get any of that?

00:17:50.515 --> 00:18:12.522
Well, it was more just this idea that like I literally like, if people I'll say this much, if you're ever confused about where I stand you weren't listening and I think I can say that with the most the utmost honesty Like I would not say that any of my friends are very confused about where I stand on most things.

00:18:12.522 --> 00:18:14.736
And I don't mean like politics.

00:18:14.736 --> 00:18:16.979
I literally mean about like life things.

00:18:16.979 --> 00:18:17.980
Like if you have confusion, you can just ask.

00:18:17.980 --> 00:18:18.902
I literally mean about like life things.

00:18:18.902 --> 00:18:21.184
Like if you have confusion, you can just ask you could listen to the podcast.

00:18:21.685 --> 00:18:35.438
We talk about everything from how we feel about like I mean, sometimes I like last night I was doing the caption and I had said that thing about how Superbowl performers don't get paid, and I was like Dean, I really hope I wasn't just running my mouth.

00:18:35.438 --> 00:18:38.183
I believe that it was actual information.

00:18:38.183 --> 00:18:44.845
But now I need to fact check myself and sure enough, it was true and I put the information in the caption.

00:18:44.845 --> 00:18:51.805
But you know, like I don't just like talk, to talk Like I I don't know, I don't know.

00:18:51.805 --> 00:19:32.210
I just I'm going to tell you quite frankly, honestly, whatever it is, or I'll sort it out with you or I'll sit down to coffee or wine or lunch and talk about all the things, but like if you're so confused at the end, like you just weren't listening, I'm just saying I have this theory that you are a different version of yourself and everybody's head, oh yeah, like the way I interpret you and see you is completely different than Taco Bell, then summer, then other people in your life.

00:19:32.335 --> 00:19:39.165
Like you know, we all have these different versions and probably none of them match.

00:19:39.165 --> 00:19:40.147
You know what I mean.

00:19:40.147 --> 00:19:42.900
So I feel what percentage do you think?

00:19:42.980 --> 00:19:47.740
is the same, because I would venture to say over 50.

00:19:47.740 --> 00:19:50.807
I think there's a part that has, like, some flex and flow.

00:19:50.807 --> 00:19:59.849
But because the interpretation is based on your innate sense of yourself, correct your own.

00:19:59.849 --> 00:20:01.541
Yeah, I totally understand.

00:20:02.015 --> 00:20:16.563
Yeah, and just even where you are that day, right, I mean, I can be in a pissy mood and you say something, and it could be a text that you say to me on another day and it makes me cry one day.

00:20:16.563 --> 00:20:19.221
I mean, not that this has happened, but it makes me cry one day.

00:20:19.221 --> 00:20:22.125
It doesn't make me cry another because I'm in a different head space.

00:20:22.125 --> 00:20:25.480
So there's just, and again.

00:20:25.480 --> 00:20:26.805
I'm going to keep going back to this.

00:20:26.805 --> 00:20:27.467
Let them book.

00:20:27.467 --> 00:20:43.957
We have no control, no control over how anybody perceives us, talks about us, feels about us, us talk about us, feels about us.

00:20:43.957 --> 00:20:47.146
But at the end of the day, you know you and the people who love you know you and F everybody else.

00:20:47.307 --> 00:20:47.868
That's where I'm at.

00:20:47.868 --> 00:21:00.465
Yeah, no, I totally get that, I just think I think, because there was such a deep period of isolation, I feel this like, um, I do like talking through things.

00:21:00.465 --> 00:21:05.019
I definitely am like, and I and some of it might even be like borderline obsessive.

00:21:05.019 --> 00:21:20.288
Well, we can own that where I'm like I gotta have like my you know, like I just, if I'm not done with it, I'm not done with it, and it has nothing to do with like anything other than like hey, it's still on heart and so I'm actually not done with it.

00:21:20.288 --> 00:21:29.021
Right, and as much as I want to be done with it, it's still on my heart, and so, as much as I want to be able to walk away or ignore things.

00:21:29.021 --> 00:21:45.579
I definitely got really good at completely disassociating, yeah, and now I'm like in the opposite place where I'm like, nope, I'm actually still holding on to it, so we actually have to talk about it again and I'm so sorry for everyone this involves, but like we're not done yet.

00:21:46.142 --> 00:21:46.342
Right.

00:21:47.305 --> 00:22:10.898
It sucks, but I also have a deep appreciation for like giving myself grace for the fact that I would have never been able to do that two years ago, to do that two years ago, and that I like my circle and trust my circle enough to be like, hey, while this has nothing to do with you, I'm still not comfortable with it and I need to talk about it one more time.

00:22:11.339 --> 00:22:13.886
Yeah, no, I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

00:22:13.886 --> 00:22:17.751
I just we just have to be careful who's in that circle.

00:22:17.932 --> 00:22:18.434
That's all I'm saying.

00:22:18.434 --> 00:22:19.627
No, yeah, I agree for sure, and I like to be friendly.

00:22:19.627 --> 00:22:19.768
Who's in that circle?

00:22:19.768 --> 00:22:19.891
That's all I'm saying.

00:22:19.891 --> 00:22:21.740
Oh, yeah, I agree for sure, and I like to be friendly with everyone.

00:22:21.740 --> 00:22:26.317
We know this um, but some of it's even like it's back to the dating thing.

00:22:26.317 --> 00:22:31.575
So, like I mean, right, that's the beauty of hinge, you get a little bit of information.

00:22:31.575 --> 00:22:34.662
Height, astrology, sign.

00:22:34.662 --> 00:22:35.805
Kids are not.

00:22:35.805 --> 00:22:41.460
It's still their version of themselves, and I give you guys the pieces and all the screenshots.

00:22:41.460 --> 00:22:49.323
So, in case I end up in a suitcase, you know we've got like some google imagery we can go off of um, which we're obviously using.

00:22:49.584 --> 00:22:53.736
I have you're my google listen, let me tell you something.

00:22:53.736 --> 00:22:58.844
If you want anybody on your case, if something were to happen to you, it would be me.

00:22:58.844 --> 00:23:00.807
I mean, let's just be real though.

00:23:01.929 --> 00:23:02.470
Yeah, no, I know.

00:23:02.470 --> 00:23:06.661
Well, it's you and like two other people, I'm like y'all these screenshots.

00:23:07.221 --> 00:23:08.164
We could rule the world.

00:23:09.236 --> 00:23:14.907
I'm never just showing up on my own without people knowing my exact location.

00:23:15.375 --> 00:23:16.719
How much you sold your house for.

00:23:16.719 --> 00:23:17.843
We know all of this.

00:23:18.083 --> 00:23:20.265
I know your job I know you on linkedin.

00:23:20.635 --> 00:23:21.537
I went to college.

00:23:21.537 --> 00:23:23.740
I know who's referred you on linkedin.

00:23:23.740 --> 00:23:28.369
Yes, yeah, come at me, come at me.

00:23:29.215 --> 00:23:35.676
Some people call it crazy, I'm calling curious at the end of the day, though, I'm never just showing up like I.

00:23:35.676 --> 00:23:39.943
I gotta give the information to the people, just in case.

00:23:39.943 --> 00:23:44.961
Uh, it stresses everyone out, though, even my mom, apparently.

00:23:44.961 --> 00:24:02.467
My mom also like reached out to Whitney when she saw the Instagram jokes about like me being like lost and then found and was like thanks, and I'm like I wasn't lost, though like I'm like mom, it's really not.

00:24:02.467 --> 00:24:05.530
You know, like there's everyone just so uncomfortable with it.

00:24:05.530 --> 00:24:13.760
I was at loss, like I didn't, like I wasn't in Vegas, and then I ended up in the desert Like but did you die?

00:24:13.875 --> 00:24:16.815
Like I was exactly where I said I would be.

00:24:16.815 --> 00:24:18.942
I feel like Vegas would have been a fun little date.

00:24:18.942 --> 00:24:26.819
I can barely make it a half a mile down the road.

00:24:26.819 --> 00:24:27.623
Are you kidding me right now?

00:24:27.623 --> 00:24:28.045
Like what a lie.

00:24:28.045 --> 00:24:28.887
I don't know if you texted me.

00:24:28.887 --> 00:24:38.767
You're like, hey, I'm on a pj, headed to Vegas, and be like, oh, okay share your location immediately goes to google.

00:24:38.767 --> 00:24:40.589
Why would you do that?

00:24:40.589 --> 00:24:44.364
You have some other news that you haven't shared with the world?

00:24:44.364 --> 00:24:44.885
I don't think.

00:24:46.297 --> 00:24:47.560
I don't even know what we're talking about.

00:24:47.560 --> 00:24:50.901
Tell me you went to Waffle House.

00:24:50.901 --> 00:24:55.904
Oh, I did go to Waffle House, all right.

00:24:56.226 --> 00:24:56.707
Lay it on me.

00:24:56.707 --> 00:25:04.079
I have purposefully not asked you about this on the podcast it's a little bit.

00:25:04.200 --> 00:25:07.787
So the whole night was actually extremely successful.

00:25:07.787 --> 00:25:09.958
Um, I did not go on a date.

00:25:09.958 --> 00:25:11.340
I went.

00:25:11.340 --> 00:25:13.066
I took the girls to a stingrays game.

00:25:13.066 --> 00:25:16.459
We've never been to a stingrays hockey game and I love hockey.

00:25:16.459 --> 00:25:19.483
I got second seats.

00:25:19.483 --> 00:25:21.969
There was a fight in front of us.

00:25:21.969 --> 00:25:23.416
I love the fights.

00:25:23.416 --> 00:25:27.184
We literally could see their eyeballs and their hair.

00:25:27.184 --> 00:25:28.347
I love hockey.

00:25:28.347 --> 00:25:30.258
We know this from my romance obsession.

00:25:30.258 --> 00:25:38.083
But like they're right there, like, and for the first two periods no one sat in the first row.

00:25:38.083 --> 00:25:43.165
And then a bunch of jamokes came and sat there and I'm assuming they were their seats, I don't know, but we moved up for the first part.

00:25:43.165 --> 00:25:48.045
So we were right on the plexiglass and they were like the girl.

00:25:48.045 --> 00:25:48.747
We got a puck.

00:25:48.747 --> 00:25:52.101
I mean, we probably looked like I don't know.

00:25:52.101 --> 00:25:53.265
We were obviously having the best time.

00:25:53.285 --> 00:25:57.102
I was with the girls, like my daughters, so we were just glowing.

00:25:57.102 --> 00:26:02.901
A puck came up and over and you could tell that the family right next to us must be like season ticket holders.

00:26:02.901 --> 00:26:09.342
They had purses, shoes, socks, everything was like they were completely casual and in their element.

00:26:09.342 --> 00:26:14.480
So the man caught the puck and everything to us was like a big deal.

00:26:14.480 --> 00:26:16.625
So he like literally handed it to me.

00:26:16.625 --> 00:26:18.082
I was like, oh my God, I love that.

00:26:18.082 --> 00:26:18.605
He was like listen.

00:26:18.605 --> 00:26:19.330
I was like that's the nicest to me.

00:26:19.330 --> 00:26:20.015
I was like oh my God, I love that.

00:26:20.015 --> 00:26:21.519
He was like listen.

00:26:21.519 --> 00:26:24.077
I was like that's the nicest thing and he was like it's.

00:26:24.077 --> 00:26:27.767
He's probably like I got like 189 of these things.

00:26:27.767 --> 00:26:36.243
These three are just like eating popcorn and chicken fingers and like laser beams of glow are just coming out of their eyes.

00:26:36.243 --> 00:26:37.549
I love that.

00:26:37.611 --> 00:26:41.364
The girls loved it, though it was so sweet, so we have our little puck from the game.

00:26:41.364 --> 00:26:53.855
And then after we like and we were on the sting race thing like looking at the roster, I mean the girls were like, oh my gosh, they like keep bringing whatever number it is out, like do you think that means he's like a good player?

00:26:53.855 --> 00:26:58.560
I'm like pretty sure it's a starter Like he's starting, and it's a starter Like he's starting and they'd like never seen a face off.

00:26:58.560 --> 00:27:08.472
So I'm like doing my best to like speak through this and give them all of the things and they're just yes, so we're like looking at them, looking at all of them.

00:27:08.472 --> 00:27:09.074
Do you have a hockey?

00:27:09.836 --> 00:27:10.700
Yeah, for sure.

00:27:10.700 --> 00:27:12.820
Okay, I'll have him into a hockey game in a bit.

00:27:13.974 --> 00:27:14.516
The goalie.

00:27:14.516 --> 00:27:17.117
Of course we know this, but is very flexible.

00:27:17.117 --> 00:27:20.201
Oh yeah, of course we know this, but it's very flexible, oh yeah.

00:27:20.201 --> 00:27:24.644
So Pi Pi was like he can do splits and I was like that's like actually like part of his job.

00:27:24.644 --> 00:27:27.047
I don't know if that's a requirement, but he has to be flexible.

00:27:27.047 --> 00:27:31.790
So we went into double overtime during this game, so then there ended up being like a shootout.

00:27:31.790 --> 00:27:36.317
They were like what is even happening?

00:27:36.376 --> 00:27:37.097
right now, they saw the Zamboni.

00:27:37.097 --> 00:27:37.857
Oh my God, is that not?

00:27:37.877 --> 00:27:39.941
the funnest word ever so fun.

00:27:39.941 --> 00:27:41.603
The guys shoveling the ice.

00:27:41.603 --> 00:27:45.707
Every little thing that happened was mind-blowing.

00:27:45.707 --> 00:27:56.538
The little stingray running around, I mean, they were just like we bought the souvenir popcorn buckets.

00:27:56.558 --> 00:27:57.943
Now are you someone who buys the foam finger?

00:27:57.943 --> 00:27:58.404
I love a foam finger.

00:27:58.404 --> 00:27:58.605
No, we get.

00:27:58.605 --> 00:27:58.726
No we.

00:27:58.726 --> 00:28:00.412
We went for the souvenir popcorn buckets.

00:28:00.412 --> 00:28:01.336
We went full.

00:28:01.336 --> 00:28:03.021
They were like we should have jerseys.

00:28:03.021 --> 00:28:06.498
I was like we are going to spend a mortgage payment before we leave here.

00:28:06.498 --> 00:28:13.009
But then I was like not done because it was so much joy.

00:28:13.009 --> 00:28:16.101
And I was like oh, they're like on the way home.

00:28:16.101 --> 00:28:18.045
They were like do we have to go right to bed?

00:28:18.045 --> 00:28:27.518
And I was like well, what if we went to Waffle?

00:28:27.538 --> 00:28:30.815
House instead, and they were like, because we passed that exit by a long point, and they were like, oh, and I was like, oh, maybe we should really go to Waffle House.

00:28:31.016 --> 00:28:31.878
Have they been or?

00:28:31.919 --> 00:28:35.237
no, no, when that was a thing.

00:28:35.237 --> 00:28:44.369
So now it's become this thing because everyone knows I haven't been and now it's this thing and I was like this is a bad decision, like not taking them, taking someone else.

00:28:44.369 --> 00:28:52.442
And I was like because it's going to be weirdly competitive and then people are going to feel like I'm picking favorites and it's like you haven't been and everyone has this Waffle House obsession.

00:28:52.442 --> 00:28:53.065
Because I haven't gone.

00:28:53.065 --> 00:28:59.369
I was like I feel like the most fair thing to do would just be to rip the Band-Aid off with my kids and then there's right.

00:28:59.369 --> 00:29:09.268
So then we pull in and you can tell it's like full of high schoolers and that's just like we sat on one of the booths that goes right into the kitchen.

00:29:10.215 --> 00:29:11.320
Everybody was amazing.

00:29:11.320 --> 00:29:35.045
The cook chopped up their food for me and probably because right before we sat down, pi, who is sassy I was like I mean we could have probably just gone home and had spaghetti, because she's like getting a little bit like menu anxiety, basically, and I'm like, but then I would be cooking spaghetti and I am tired and I'm having the best night with you and I don't want to go home and cook spaghetti.

00:29:35.045 --> 00:29:36.641
I'm so sick of cooking spaghetti.

00:29:36.701 --> 00:29:40.396
I know You're unraveling me with the pasta obsession.

00:29:40.416 --> 00:29:41.862
It's going to push me over the edge.

00:29:41.862 --> 00:29:48.179
I'm hoping to God and then it's probably going to go away and it's going to be something even more brutal and I'm going to hate myself for wishing away spaghetti For sure.

00:29:48.179 --> 00:29:50.265
So I'm just trying to be calm about it.

00:29:50.265 --> 00:29:54.501
But I was like but I don't want to cook spaghetti, I actually just want to eat a meal that someone else cooked for me.

00:29:54.501 --> 00:30:02.817
Even the waffles were like perfectly cut into, like 10 pieces and like oh, so I was like what did you get?

00:30:02.916 --> 00:30:03.357
what did you get?

00:30:03.357 --> 00:30:04.681
I have to know I got the.

00:30:04.861 --> 00:30:05.963
Is it the grand slam?

00:30:05.963 --> 00:30:09.516
Wait, that's a denny's no hold on.

00:30:09.516 --> 00:30:11.317
I asked chat gpt.

00:30:11.317 --> 00:30:17.402
What are you sure, or maybe I'm thinking IHOP.

00:30:17.402 --> 00:30:20.324
Hold on.

00:30:20.324 --> 00:30:24.667
I asked ChatGPT what the best dishes were at Waffle House.

00:30:25.508 --> 00:30:26.128
Oh, it is at.

00:30:26.148 --> 00:30:29.290
Denny's Okay, hold on, let it come up again.

00:30:29.290 --> 00:30:30.872
I have this screenshot somewhere.

00:30:30.872 --> 00:30:33.960
But I literally asked.

00:30:33.960 --> 00:30:35.505
It's like, do we need the reasoning?

00:30:35.505 --> 00:30:38.097
I was like to eat.

00:30:38.137 --> 00:30:40.481
There is one at Waffle House, but I was thinking of one of the Denny's.

00:30:41.364 --> 00:30:46.518
Okay, I'm pretty sure I got the grand slam at waffle waffle house.

00:30:46.518 --> 00:30:51.509
Um, maybe it was the all-star special, I don't know.

00:30:51.509 --> 00:30:52.711
I got loaded hash browns.

00:30:52.711 --> 00:30:56.042
I got cheese, tomatoes and jalapenos on mine.

00:30:56.042 --> 00:30:58.340
It came with bacon.

00:30:58.340 --> 00:31:00.400
It came with.

00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:15.268
It was also a special and for those who want a little bit of everything, so it came with eggs, toast, some crazy like all the hash brown things that you could have.

00:31:15.268 --> 00:31:18.499
Bacon came with everything.

00:31:18.499 --> 00:31:19.840
I have a picture of it for us.

00:31:20.803 --> 00:31:21.983
So what's your, what's your take?

00:31:22.705 --> 00:31:23.426
It was delicious.

00:31:24.268 --> 00:31:30.739
So good, gosh, I was about to say how long did it take for the diary?

00:31:30.739 --> 00:31:31.701
Nothing bad happened.

00:31:31.721 --> 00:31:34.006
I was like oh my God, thank God.

00:31:34.006 --> 00:31:37.362
I was like that's what I was like.

00:31:37.382 --> 00:31:39.056
Oh, I need a cheeseburger.

00:31:39.056 --> 00:31:44.141
So it does not matter what time of day I go to waffle house, I get a cheeseburger.

00:31:44.141 --> 00:31:45.502
But I didn't see it on the menu.

00:31:45.502 --> 00:31:48.365
Yes, I get the double cheeseburger.

00:31:48.365 --> 00:31:50.567
Yes, I did not see it on the menu.

00:31:50.567 --> 00:31:52.869
I'll eat it at four o'clock in the morning.

00:31:52.970 --> 00:31:54.030
I will eat it at eight o'clock.

00:31:57.375 --> 00:31:58.362
I thought I was going to get a burger.

00:31:58.362 --> 00:32:00.214
Their cheeseburger is banging, it is so good.

00:32:00.875 --> 00:32:02.060
Maybe it's in the back or something.

00:32:02.060 --> 00:32:03.959
I literally just was like.

00:32:03.959 --> 00:32:05.041
I asked ChatGPT.

00:32:05.041 --> 00:32:08.703
I asked ChatGPT everything.

00:32:08.703 --> 00:32:12.121
I couldn't remember John Legend's wife's name yeah, last night.

00:32:12.121 --> 00:32:17.021
So I asked ChatGPT Chrissy Teigen yeah, and she's hot, and it looks like Chrissy Teigen.

00:32:23.694 --> 00:32:25.058
And I was like why can't I think of I have her cookbooks.

00:32:25.058 --> 00:32:25.922
She's got incredible cookbooks, actually.

00:32:25.922 --> 00:32:28.430
Just listen to the podcast that she did with Mel Robbins about people pleasing.

00:32:28.430 --> 00:32:29.614
It was really really good.

00:32:29.614 --> 00:32:30.236
You should listen to it.

00:32:30.256 --> 00:32:33.905
I love her, but I literally could not, for the life of me, remember her name.

00:32:33.905 --> 00:32:36.019
What is John Legend's wife's name?

00:32:36.019 --> 00:32:41.496
I've also gotten in trouble twice for asking too many things in one day.

00:32:41.496 --> 00:32:48.288
Oh yeah, and then I asked it some slang and it was like you are crossing the chat GPT line?

00:32:48.288 --> 00:32:50.758
Oh, is that what it said?

00:32:50.758 --> 00:32:52.462
No, I don't remember.

00:32:52.462 --> 00:32:53.244
I took a screenshot of it.

00:32:53.244 --> 00:32:55.679
I was like, oh, I did not know that that's what that meant.

00:32:55.719 --> 00:32:58.806
First of all, ask it something this morning.

00:32:58.806 --> 00:33:02.295
Well, I Google searched it because I didn't think ChatGPT would know.

00:33:02.295 --> 00:33:07.508
So I don't know if you do this, but at our library, like I put books on hold.

00:33:07.508 --> 00:33:14.262
Well, you know, they go look for them for you and then they put them in this nice little area.

00:33:14.262 --> 00:33:18.003
I've been doing this for two years.

00:33:18.003 --> 00:33:21.221
They put it on this bookshelf, they put this little piece of paper.

00:33:21.221 --> 00:33:22.199
It's got your name in it.

00:33:22.199 --> 00:33:25.074
Dude, you're supposed to check those out.

00:33:25.074 --> 00:33:33.320
I have been walking out of the library with these books for two years, thinking that they were pre-checked out.

00:33:33.320 --> 00:33:38.546
I found out this morning because I put some books on hold.

00:33:38.546 --> 00:33:48.788
I Googled it just for shits and giggles and I was like, oh M G, I've been like taking books out of the library for two years not knowing this.

00:33:49.234 --> 00:33:50.479
And just bringing them back casually.

00:33:50.479 --> 00:33:52.105
And they're like they're like.

00:33:52.105 --> 00:33:57.307
We will say that quite often, books disappear and then magically wake there.

00:33:57.307 --> 00:33:58.880
You can't be the only one, though.

00:33:59.561 --> 00:34:12.737
I'm like it's got a receipt with my like name in it, like I thought that it was like a done deal clearly not we have a receipt with your name in it, are you sure?

00:34:12.737 --> 00:34:13.797
I'm sure.

00:34:13.797 --> 00:34:14.619
I googled it.

00:34:14.619 --> 00:34:26.449
I'm 100% sure you have to enter your library card to check them out and to hold them, but then apparently you still have to check them out.

00:34:26.449 --> 00:34:27.583
I did not know this.

00:34:27.583 --> 00:34:28.668
Found it out this morning.

00:34:28.900 --> 00:34:30.643
Your name is on it with a receipt.

00:34:30.643 --> 00:34:34.193
Dude, I hear you, I know.

00:34:34.193 --> 00:34:36.324
Can you ask them when you go in?

00:34:36.324 --> 00:34:39.532
Yes, I'm going by today because I'm getting more freedom in books.

00:34:39.532 --> 00:34:44.449
Oh God, now I can literally never tell you why.

00:34:44.449 --> 00:34:44.929
Why?

00:34:45.719 --> 00:34:49.992
Because they're so good, they're so good, they're so good.

00:34:50.139 --> 00:34:51.847
No, can you even sleep at night after?

00:34:51.847 --> 00:34:54.704
Nope, I'm not into it.

00:34:54.704 --> 00:34:56.568
This is why you were freaking out.

00:34:56.568 --> 00:34:58.360
This is exactly why you were freaking out.

00:34:58.702 --> 00:35:02.811
Well, no, it was just that one subject matter.

00:35:02.811 --> 00:35:13.275
This girl in the book is on a dating app hello called hinge, and I'm like that sounds awfully similar to hinge.

00:35:13.942 --> 00:35:15.728
It made me more it's based off of it.

00:35:15.728 --> 00:35:18.418
My hinge is a freaking hot mess right now.

00:35:18.418 --> 00:35:29.713
It's literally, but I send you guys all the screenshots of anything I even like remotely talk about and then I just revert back to my same tendencies of like thinking that everybody is love bombing me.

00:35:29.713 --> 00:35:32.605
And what the heck is love bombing?

00:35:32.605 --> 00:35:35.351
Oh my gosh, it's like my fear.

00:35:35.351 --> 00:35:38.288
Hold on, let's ask Chad GPT before I fuck it up.

00:35:38.288 --> 00:35:45.014
It's like the scary thing in dating, um, besides murder, no scarier.

00:35:45.014 --> 00:35:57.527
Oh, okay, well, maybe not, but like love bombing is like my scared thing, um, because it typically is a trait I'm gonna jack it up without this definition.

00:35:57.527 --> 00:36:22.333
So this chat she continues to speed it up, but I believe it's typically a trait of narcissism, um, and it's where people like, uh, basically literally love, bomb you, like, fall in love with you quickly, like it's a lot of flattery, it's a lot of like making you feel really special and like, ultimately, can chat GPT speed it up a little bit?

00:36:22.333 --> 00:36:25.307
What is happening to my chat GPT right now?

00:36:25.519 --> 00:36:26.824
That all sounds fabulous.

00:36:26.824 --> 00:36:27.827
What's wrong with all of this?

00:36:27.827 --> 00:36:28.108
I know.

00:36:28.860 --> 00:36:30.204
And I saw on Instagram the other day.

00:36:30.204 --> 00:36:43.563
It was like it's impossible for me to not believe that love bombing is exactly what I deserve, because why wouldn't you fall in love with me immediately, right, I know, but it's like dangerous, it's like the dangerous version of it.

00:36:43.563 --> 00:36:45.206
We should get somebody on here to talk about it.

00:36:45.708 --> 00:36:47.932
Okay, love, bombing expert.

00:36:48.940 --> 00:36:50.244
Can you ask your chat GPT?

00:36:50.244 --> 00:36:53.351
Mine is oh wait, okay, here we go, lay it on me.

00:36:53.351 --> 00:36:57.228
It reasoned for 56 seconds, so that is a new chat GPT update.

00:36:57.228 --> 00:36:58.251
That's not going to work for me.

00:36:58.251 --> 00:37:12.612
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic when someone overwhelms another person with excessive affection, attention and flattery, often through gifts, constant communication and grand gestures, to gain control or influence over them.

00:37:12.612 --> 00:37:23.322
This behavior is typically used in the early stages of a relationship to quickly establish an emotional bond which can later make it easier for the love bomber to manipulate or exploit the target.

00:37:23.322 --> 00:37:27.413
It's often associated with narcissistic and abusive behaviors and relationships.

00:37:30.420 --> 00:37:31.826
I mean other than that last part.

00:37:31.826 --> 00:37:32.909
It sounded quite lovely.

00:37:34.340 --> 00:37:36.128
Except it's like quite literally.

00:37:37.460 --> 00:37:44.452
So like if a guy showed up with like diamonds, like we're not, we're not going to, like I feel like we should rethink this.

00:37:45.920 --> 00:37:52.351
No, we're definitely taking the diamonds, but like hey, let's go to Fiji, okay.

00:37:52.351 --> 00:37:56.106
Yeah, and then they kill you in Fiji because you're not by, you can't be tracked.

00:37:56.106 --> 00:37:58.561
Great, how did you?

00:37:58.561 --> 00:38:01.204
How are you picking and choosing which amount of tracking is appropriate?

00:38:01.204 --> 00:38:09.396
You said Vegas and Fiji are fine, but a half mile from where I live is flipping you out to the point of 29 calls and texts.

00:38:09.396 --> 00:38:13.987
Are you love-comming me?

00:38:16.221 --> 00:38:17.704
I didn't even know that was until today.

00:38:17.704 --> 00:38:19.206
I don't think so.

00:38:19.226 --> 00:38:31.307
No, it's like a very real thing and it's like, oh my gosh, like I never had this feeling with anyone, Like I, you know, like it's a quick attachment, I think it has to do like um.

00:38:31.507 --> 00:38:31.789
I would.

00:38:31.789 --> 00:38:32.971
That would freak me out.

00:38:33.112 --> 00:38:34.661
It doesn't freak people out, though.

00:38:34.661 --> 00:38:36.887
That's the thing, because it's very much.

00:38:36.887 --> 00:38:46.208
And I will say this about nurses I don't think they wake up every day and they're like I want to be a nurse, but these are the tactics that they.

00:38:46.208 --> 00:38:50.523
Their natural inclination is to you like they don't think of it like a tactic.

00:38:50.523 --> 00:38:54.563
This is their behavior and I'm sure it has to do something.

00:38:54.563 --> 00:38:57.733
Let's say, how is this influenced by attachment styles?

00:38:57.733 --> 00:39:00.621
Um, I don't know my attachment style.

00:39:00.621 --> 00:39:05.025
We probably need somebody on here to talk about this we do let's work on that.

00:39:05.505 --> 00:39:07.831
I definitely do not know my attachment style.

00:39:07.831 --> 00:39:10.184
I haven't looked.

00:39:10.465 --> 00:39:11.166
We should work on that.

00:39:11.628 --> 00:39:22.505
Yes, but it's largely influenced by attachment style, so the people who appreciate it are the ones that tend to fall victim to it, and then the people who use it obviously tend to sometimes.

00:39:22.505 --> 00:39:24.170
What are they?

00:39:24.170 --> 00:39:30.300
Hang on, let me hear they are anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, so it says.

00:39:30.300 --> 00:39:39.128
Love bombing often plays into the vulnerabilities associated with insecure attachment styles, for example, an anxious attachment.

00:39:39.128 --> 00:39:44.764
Individuals with an anxious attachment style tend to crave intimacy and constant reassurance.

00:39:44.764 --> 00:39:53.027
When someone love bombs them with excessive praise, gifts or attention, it can feel like an ideal, almost overwhelming validation.

00:39:53.027 --> 00:40:01.422
This rapid intensification of the relationship can make them more vulnerable to manipulation because it feeds into their fear of abandonment and their desire for closeness.

00:40:01.422 --> 00:40:06.925
Avoidant attachment I feel like that is me.

00:40:07.025 --> 00:40:08.788
I'm sitting here reading on my other screen.

00:40:08.788 --> 00:40:12.190
I'm like if I had to just guess before we take a quiz, that would be mine.

00:40:12.871 --> 00:40:13.271
Avoidant.

00:40:13.271 --> 00:40:15.552
Well, I'm just so.

00:40:15.552 --> 00:40:17.655
It says, here we go.

00:40:17.655 --> 00:40:20.976
This is love bombing in avoidant attachment.

00:40:20.976 --> 00:40:32.532
On the flip side, those with avoidant attachment styles typically value independence and may feel smothered by intense when they encounter love bombing and send a feeling value.

00:40:32.632 --> 00:40:36.324
They might perceive it as intrusive or overwhelming, triggering withdrawal.

00:40:36.324 --> 00:40:44.956
This is literally me and you in a pushback, in a way to reclaim personal space.

00:40:44.956 --> 00:40:47.322
So this is like literally what happened.

00:40:47.322 --> 00:40:49.369
I'm like, gosh, that was like such a fun dinner.

00:40:49.369 --> 00:40:50.780
And then they're like the next day.

00:40:50.780 --> 00:40:52.684
I'm like, ah, you're not bombing me.

00:40:54.708 --> 00:40:56.713
You're supposed to wait three days to text me.

00:40:56.713 --> 00:40:57.521
What are you doing?

00:40:58.063 --> 00:41:02.413
I'm like what Ew, but like I and I don't mean that.

00:41:02.413 --> 00:41:04.527
So if somebody is listening to this, I'm so sorry.

00:41:04.527 --> 00:41:06.507
I obviously have things I'm still working on.

00:41:09.880 --> 00:41:10.824
Let's take a quiz.

00:41:10.824 --> 00:41:11.887
Can we take a quiz?

00:41:13.101 --> 00:41:14.164
And we'll share it with everybody.

00:41:16.568 --> 00:41:19.393
But if I had, if I was a batting gal, I'm going, I'm avoidant.

00:41:23.300 --> 00:41:23.900
Is that what you think you are?

00:41:23.900 --> 00:41:24.222
Yeah, right now.

00:41:24.222 --> 00:41:25.123
This one says disorganized attachment.

00:41:25.123 --> 00:41:29.653
Individuals with disorganized attachment styles often experience conflicting desires for closeness and a fear of intimacy.

00:41:29.653 --> 00:41:31.365
This is also a contender.

00:41:31.365 --> 00:41:46.688
Love bombing in this context can create a confusing push-pull dynamic where the recipient is simultaneously drawn to a tense affection but repelled by the lack of stability, potentially deepening emotional turmoil.

00:41:50.628 --> 00:42:02.806
I don't know, oh my God, but I know that I'm like okay, I can tell there's like connectivity, but then I'm like I don't know, you know, I just want to be like.

00:42:02.806 --> 00:42:14.532
I basically want to be Rapunzel, with great hair tucked away in a tower, but not prisoner, but like but like a man, can climb up your hair and come up every now and then.

00:42:14.532 --> 00:42:15.940
Yeah, yeah.

00:42:15.980 --> 00:42:17.481
Is that too much to ask for?

00:42:17.481 --> 00:42:18.842
Is that too much to ask for?

00:42:18.842 --> 00:42:20.425
I mean, is that too much to ask for?

00:42:20.425 --> 00:42:21.445
Is that too much to ask for?

00:42:21.445 --> 00:42:23.047
Stop yeah.

00:42:23.047 --> 00:42:41.771
So have you made it to the episode of Love is Blind yet, where the guy is talking with the girl and he asked her her attachment style and as soon as she says what hers is, you can literally feel an energy shift in the way he's responding to her.

00:42:41.793 --> 00:42:43.219
Have people started going on the romantic vacations yet when are you?

00:42:43.219 --> 00:42:45.164
So I'm a little behind, but I'm on.

00:42:45.224 --> 00:42:46.409
Oh yeah, I'm way ahead of you.

00:42:46.409 --> 00:42:48.846
Oh, okay, it was like episode two.

00:42:48.846 --> 00:42:54.585
And as soon as she said her attachment style was, I think she said it was either anxious avoidant or just avoidant.

00:42:54.585 --> 00:42:55.929
Isn't the blonde girl?

00:42:55.929 --> 00:42:58.800
Yes, yeah, like he completely like changed.

00:42:58.800 --> 00:43:00.822
Yeah, like he completely like changed.

00:43:00.822 --> 00:43:01.963
It was really interesting.

00:43:01.963 --> 00:43:03.826
I'm like, how does this guy know so much?

00:43:03.846 --> 00:43:06.628
There's a lot of major flags in this group.

00:43:06.628 --> 00:43:10.851
I will say this it gets so much more.

00:43:10.851 --> 00:43:15.295
These girls seem flipping cray, I think the boys are too.

00:43:23.380 --> 00:43:23.981
I'm just not impressed.

00:43:23.981 --> 00:43:24.503
I'm not loving anybody.

00:43:25.306 --> 00:43:27.213
So TBD on if I make it through this whole season, but right now I'm not feeling it.

00:43:27.213 --> 00:43:42.954
So then one of the other things this is just like whatever that's happening that I think is making this even more confusing is like, obviously last year I started to prioritize my friends more because I got pulled away from them when I really had to figure out who I was being manipulated by.

00:43:42.954 --> 00:43:46.369
So I had to like save those people.

00:43:46.369 --> 00:43:53.429
Like I had to be like okay, I know I need to protect this and I need to protect myself and so I need to create these walls around each little group.

00:43:53.429 --> 00:43:55.465
So I took those down last year.

00:43:55.465 --> 00:43:56.369
That was part of more.

00:43:56.369 --> 00:44:02.492
They can't find time like with me, because the girls always have it.

00:44:03.581 --> 00:44:04.764
Well, that's not a bad thing.

00:44:05.226 --> 00:44:13.605
No, no, I know, but it's like there's a part of me that's like very protective of that, also because of everything else, and so like, what about lunch?

00:44:13.605 --> 00:44:15.106
I'm like I already have plans for lunch.

00:44:15.106 --> 00:44:16.521
What about dinner?

00:44:16.521 --> 00:44:19.425
On this day, like last Thursday, I have a Galentine's.

00:44:19.425 --> 00:44:20.702
What about, like?

00:44:20.702 --> 00:44:27.351
And part of me is like oh, thank God, I can keep like saying no, yeah, guys love that.

00:44:27.351 --> 00:44:29.784
Oh, I wasn't even doing it for them.

00:44:29.784 --> 00:44:31.548
I meant like, because I get nervous.

00:44:31.548 --> 00:44:34.083
And then part of me is like I'm kind of fucked.

00:44:34.083 --> 00:44:36.329
I'm kind of a big dealer in here.

00:44:36.409 --> 00:44:37.512
I'm kind of busy.

00:44:37.512 --> 00:44:45.677
Even like Friday for lunch I randomly had plans with a friend I haven't seen in forever and we just went to home team and ended up there for three and a half hours.

00:44:45.677 --> 00:44:47.041
Thank God you didn't have my location.

00:44:47.041 --> 00:44:53.907
Then I was with a girlfriend Nope, you'd been good had Irish coffees and just like hung out and laughed our heads off.

00:44:53.907 --> 00:44:59.003
I was the queen of TMI, so everybody that was sitting there is probably like praying again.

00:44:59.003 --> 00:45:02.612
But it's all good, everything's fine.

00:45:02.612 --> 00:45:11.250
But I would literally was like ah, I have plans, but it literally sounds like and I try to say my girlfriends, but then I'm like, why do I have to say my girlfriends?

00:45:11.250 --> 00:45:14.266
It sounds like I'm booked, but I look at my calendar.

00:45:14.266 --> 00:45:14.909
I kind of am.

00:45:14.909 --> 00:45:16.192
I actually have like three jobs.

00:45:16.192 --> 00:45:18.204
I can't be just gallivanting all over.

00:45:18.204 --> 00:45:20.472
I don't think they need to know all that.

00:45:22.000 --> 00:45:23.025
No, I know, Well, that's so.

00:45:23.025 --> 00:45:23.425
I don't know.

00:45:23.699 --> 00:45:26.668
I play it on a need to know basis until they're in your inner circle.

00:45:26.668 --> 00:45:27.331
That's how I feel.

00:45:28.019 --> 00:45:28.161
Okay.

00:45:28.161 --> 00:45:50.389
Well then that is the next issue that we have is like now, because I've started to become more open to like actually dating, now I'm deeply terrified that I'm really going to like somebody and then I'm going to have to like I am, I'm sure, somebody's listening, it's probably Kirsten's probably listening to this and she's like I know exactly what attachment style this is.

00:45:50.389 --> 00:45:59.362
So now I'm like I can't, because I'm so scared that I'm going to actually like somebody and then I'm going to have to like reign it in again and I don't.

00:45:59.362 --> 00:46:00.043
I'm not ready.

00:46:00.043 --> 00:46:03.512
Not because I want to date, I'm just like scared.

00:46:05.021 --> 00:46:09.804
That's completely normal, but I feel like we need to save that for another episode because I feel like that's a good Kirsten conversation.

00:46:10.786 --> 00:46:11.688
I know we need her.

00:46:11.688 --> 00:46:15.184
We need to figure out what we're doing next, Kirsten.

00:46:17.250 --> 00:46:18.972
All right, guys, we're going to wrap this one up.

00:46:18.972 --> 00:46:25.543
We appreciate you Go to.

00:46:25.663 --> 00:46:26.849
Waffle House and get the Grand Slam.

00:46:26.849 --> 00:46:27.592
Is that really the name?

00:46:27.833 --> 00:46:29.867
I think that's what it says, but it is at Denise too.

00:46:29.980 --> 00:46:31.552
It might be the All-Star Special Guys.

00:46:31.552 --> 00:46:35.289
I'm sorry if I said that Either way they both sound sports-related.

00:46:35.289 --> 00:46:36.985
Just think about baseball and get the baseball.

00:46:36.985 --> 00:46:37.306
Yes, totally.

00:46:37.306 --> 00:46:39.782
Smother your hash browns.

00:46:39.782 --> 00:46:41.344
The hash browns were much better than I thought.

00:46:41.344 --> 00:46:43.208
They were Smothered and covered.

00:46:43.208 --> 00:46:45.572
They were nice and moist.

00:46:45.572 --> 00:46:46.434
They weren't dry.

00:46:46.554 --> 00:46:47.614
Did you just say moist?

00:46:47.614 --> 00:46:49.295
Are we going to end the episode on moist?

00:46:49.295 --> 00:46:49.916
Oh dear God.

00:46:49.936 --> 00:46:51.038
I knew it was going to trigger you.

00:46:51.440 --> 00:46:51.780
Triggered.

00:46:51.780 --> 00:46:53.023
All right guys.

00:46:53.023 --> 00:46:56.532
Thanks so much for tuning in and we will see you next week.