Jan. 16, 2025

Pinky Promises, Hibachi & 2025 Words

Pinky Promises, Hibachi & 2025 Words
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Season 5

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A pinky promise has one of us is chasing snow, while the other refuses to chase anything.  

You might say she is “bananas” - and thanks to a recent hinge match, you’d be correct. We’re talking about last-minute road trips, spicy romance books, girls, weekends, spring sporting events (baseball vs hockey), and apparently we haven’t hit the cap on how much TMI is too much TMI. Don’t even judge us, there is not a chance that we believe you’ve never been in our shoes. And of course, what inspired this conversation? A hot guy on Instagram admitting the same thing. You can always count on us to level the playing field.

Thank goodness we have a therapist coming next week because this week we’re taking self-help into our own hands. Well - that’s a stretch because we’re actually letting Mel Robbins and her “let them” theory (and book) guide us. One of us has the highlighters out and one of us is using her car time to catch up.  If you haven’t heard of the “let them” but you align to a lot of our fears and worries regarding conversations about drawing boundaries, control, and happiness, this might be a journey you want to join us on.

We’re showing up this year - even to yoga classes that we haven’t signed up for. Hope you’re ready …

For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:

Insta @marketingandmayhem
YouTube @MarketingMayhemPod

And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!

Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

00:11 - Chasing Snow and Fitness Goals

08:20 - Girls Weekend Plans and Hockey Excitement

14:40 - Exploring Food and Self-Reflection

25:09 - Discovering Self-Worth and Empowering Choices

35:07 - Dating App Tips and Dental Dreams

WEBVTT

00:00:11.326 --> 00:00:13.909
um, we did not get snow here?

00:00:13.909 --> 00:00:24.714
We did not, but you chased the snow I did, I chased it, hi, hi.

00:00:24.714 --> 00:00:27.836
I have so much to say.

00:00:27.836 --> 00:00:31.278
Last week has been a little crazy.

00:00:31.278 --> 00:00:38.840
What I won't be doing is chasing a damn thing, but why don't you tell me about the time you chased snow we?

00:00:38.899 --> 00:00:39.621
did so.

00:00:39.621 --> 00:00:44.127
It was last year.

00:00:44.127 --> 00:00:56.411
They got snow in Greenville, which is about three and a half hours north of us where my mom lives, and Clark was so upset that she didn't get to see it.

00:00:56.411 --> 00:01:01.912
So I pinky promised, which is like the promise of all promises.

00:01:02.740 --> 00:01:08.891
Oh, I know my youngest daughter recently, pinky, promised herself that she's not going to wear pants and we had to break that promise and she was real mad.

00:01:09.260 --> 00:01:12.248
Yeah, you know, it's like the promise of all promises.

00:01:12.248 --> 00:01:18.750
And so, sure enough, we saw the forecast and I was like, all right, we're loading up and we're going.

00:01:20.233 --> 00:01:29.506
And you did, and we got a full two to three inches maybe no, an inch is an inch, like we're not talking in hinge, we're talking in snow.

00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:33.250
An inch of snow is an inch.

00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:35.868
Whatever it is, sir.

00:01:37.641 --> 00:01:39.066
Yeah, no, it was fun.

00:01:39.066 --> 00:01:42.150
We got to do snowballs, which she really wanted to do.

00:01:42.150 --> 00:01:45.049
She wanted to do a snowball fight and she wanted to do a snow angel.

00:01:51.780 --> 00:01:53.325
I love it and I'm like obsessed with the the song snowman right now.

00:01:53.325 --> 00:01:54.409
I cannot stop listening to it for whatever reason.

00:01:54.409 --> 00:02:01.686
I like that my neighbors have got to be like with this bitch song well, mitch, and you know, we ordered a sled.

00:02:01.766 --> 00:02:04.489
I mean, you know when we commit, like we commit.

00:02:04.489 --> 00:02:08.312
So I ordered like a full ski bunny little outfit for her.

00:02:08.312 --> 00:02:11.556
I noticed, like snow pants, she's adorable, yes.

00:02:11.556 --> 00:02:13.387
And so we ordered this sled.

00:02:13.387 --> 00:02:23.733
Well, there was not enough snow to sled right where we were, so she made me schlep it and like, pull her on the sled Like it was a great workout.

00:02:23.733 --> 00:02:28.503
And like, like, pull her on the sled like it was a great workout.

00:02:28.503 --> 00:02:29.507
But yeah, uh, she got to see snow so it was fun.

00:02:29.507 --> 00:02:43.324
And then my mom made me like a grilled cheese and like chicken noodle soup after I came in from playing and I felt like a 10 year old again yeah it was really fun I'm into that, yeah how are you tell me all the things?

00:02:43.625 --> 00:02:43.925
no, I was.

00:02:43.925 --> 00:02:48.252
I just thought it was a funny joke to be like you're chasing snow, I will chase nothing.

00:02:48.574 --> 00:02:51.927
No, winter is the only thing I will chase this year.

00:02:52.923 --> 00:02:54.578
You should be like little storm chasers.

00:02:54.578 --> 00:02:56.006
Actually, I would be really into that.

00:02:56.460 --> 00:02:57.465
Honey, I've had that life.

00:02:57.465 --> 00:02:58.288
I'm not doing that again.

00:02:58.288 --> 00:03:00.104
I did that for way too long.

00:03:05.780 --> 00:03:08.104
No, we should do it like in, like a weird not in that sense, not in the we fix it after.

00:03:08.104 --> 00:03:09.346
Um, that seems like a lot of work.

00:03:09.346 --> 00:03:10.649
It is.

00:03:10.649 --> 00:03:15.723
Yeah, I can't imagine I can hear the dogs right now in the shower doing something stupid.

00:03:15.723 --> 00:03:20.073
Um, well, it's january, so I feel like we're in the midst of.

00:03:20.073 --> 00:03:21.443
We've got some really fun guests on.

00:03:21.443 --> 00:03:30.467
We probably getting pretty narrowed down on our words, so we're going to start talking about some of this and so I'm like I'm.

00:03:30.467 --> 00:03:37.724
I don't have a single fitness or food goal this year, which I think is amazing and feels very freeing.

00:03:39.687 --> 00:03:46.657
I do, but mine is mainly because of fitness, cause I just feel better when I move my body.

00:03:46.657 --> 00:03:51.068
It has nothing to do with like a resolution I hate that word.

00:03:51.068 --> 00:03:55.025
Yeah, more of just like a commitment to myself.

00:03:55.025 --> 00:03:57.514
Hey, I'm going to do this because I feel better.

00:03:58.377 --> 00:03:58.959
Yeah, I mean I.

00:03:58.959 --> 00:04:04.830
I mean I was at yoga at eight o'clock this morning and I I forgot how much the Tuesday class kicks my ass.

00:04:04.830 --> 00:04:08.185
But, like you know, I always go like four to five days a week.

00:04:08.185 --> 00:04:12.903
So I got to the point to where I'm just like have this weird piece about it.

00:04:12.903 --> 00:04:15.751
I don't feel like it's like that check mark anymore.

00:04:15.751 --> 00:04:20.627
Um, who was it that we were talking to, where they were like just do it when it feels.

00:04:20.627 --> 00:04:24.757
It was Jessica, people's, it was when it really feels good for you.

00:04:24.858 --> 00:04:39.004
And then in December, at the very end, I really my heart wasn't in it and I didn't go for two weeks and I feel so much stronger and so much mentally better being like I didn't not that I missed it, but I think I needed to actually take a step back.

00:04:39.004 --> 00:04:41.088
I think I was just too drained.

00:04:41.088 --> 00:04:48.487
Yeah, like now I've got this better respect in a little bit of way for like, okay, well, we don't have to do it just because it's on the list.

00:04:48.487 --> 00:04:50.232
If it's going to feel like that.

00:04:50.232 --> 00:04:53.204
Yeah, no, I mean, it's running too.

00:04:53.485 --> 00:05:00.944
For me, it's more like I feel like I came out the gate, and I'm actually for it being mid January.

00:05:00.944 --> 00:05:12.346
I came out the gate and I'm like, listen, I've just got some things that I really want to focus on, and they're not really things that I'm dreading, I'm just doing them, and so I'm feel like I'm kind of in a in the rhythm now.

00:05:12.365 --> 00:05:13.369
Yeah, I love it.

00:05:13.369 --> 00:05:15.312
I was like Sandra's back at yoga.

00:05:15.312 --> 00:05:18.322
I feel like dude.

00:05:18.322 --> 00:05:21.387
I so remember that time I didn't pay my water bill cause I didn't know I had one.

00:05:21.887 --> 00:05:24.870
How could I forget your water bill that you didn't pay for like seven months?

00:05:24.870 --> 00:05:25.531
Yes, I remember.

00:05:26.293 --> 00:05:28.355
Like I got like a note of serious note.

00:05:28.355 --> 00:05:33.528
So I, in a similar sense, yoga, because I just hopped back into it.

00:05:33.528 --> 00:05:34.973
You have to sign up, right?

00:05:34.973 --> 00:05:38.788
It's kind of like cycling class, so there's like only room for so many people.

00:05:38.788 --> 00:05:42.742
I walk in Friday morning first person there.

00:05:42.742 --> 00:05:44.187
I like to be early.

00:05:44.187 --> 00:05:46.682
I only have two spades or speeds.

00:05:46.682 --> 00:05:48.365
Really fucking late or really early.

00:05:48.365 --> 00:05:53.822
I give my name to the person at the front desk and she's like you're not signed up.

00:05:53.822 --> 00:05:54.946
I'm like surely I am.

00:05:54.946 --> 00:05:56.889
No, I am not.

00:05:57.550 --> 00:06:07.793
I look on my app Like oh my God, and it's like a 50 person class and there were 21 waitlisted people.

00:06:07.793 --> 00:06:11.266
I was like, oh, sandra's going to kill me.

00:06:11.266 --> 00:06:18.009
And I was like of course I start laughing, cause if anything's like awkward, I'm like do you think you can make an exception?

00:06:18.009 --> 00:06:24.954
Like I'm just one little person, but it's like 50 is tight, tight, tight, tight.

00:06:24.954 --> 00:06:27.901
And then 20 other people have been waiting for a spot.

00:06:27.901 --> 00:06:31.028
So she's like, um, let me talk to Krista.

00:06:31.028 --> 00:06:34.093
I was like okay, and you got in.

00:06:34.093 --> 00:06:36.564
I mean she like comes out.

00:06:36.564 --> 00:06:38.470
She's like Rebecca, there's 20 people in front of you.

00:06:38.470 --> 00:06:40.283
I was like it's fine, I'll like go home.

00:06:40.283 --> 00:06:45.564
And then I like looked down at my phone and I got this little bubble up text that was like your waitlist spot has opened.

00:06:45.564 --> 00:06:49.040
And I looked at her and she like waved and I was like, oh my God, thank God.

00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:50.184
And then she it was.

00:06:50.824 --> 00:06:51.968
I have never worked so hard.

00:06:51.968 --> 00:06:54.252
I was not going to break a plank.

00:06:54.252 --> 00:07:08.250
I wasn't going to like whatever those things are when you're like in a pushup and you have to use the dumbbell and still do the pull-ups Rows Not, yeah, I'm not, no, but it's like the ones where you're still in the plank, like it's not even just a row.

00:07:08.250 --> 00:07:09.331
Yes, there you go.

00:07:09.331 --> 00:07:13.836
So I'm like, I'm not, I am not breaking character.

00:07:20.480 --> 00:07:21.161
Sweat was in my eyeballs.

00:07:21.161 --> 00:07:22.026
I love it, though I love sweat.

00:07:22.045 --> 00:07:22.687
We've talked about this before.

00:07:22.687 --> 00:07:22.949
I'm the same.

00:07:22.949 --> 00:07:23.230
I live for it.

00:07:23.230 --> 00:07:23.550
I love it on me.

00:07:23.550 --> 00:07:27.425
I love it on my husband, yes, but I don't love it on anybody I don't know.

00:07:27.906 --> 00:07:33.543
Speaking of just so we know, speaking of, I am reading the hottest book right now.

00:07:33.543 --> 00:07:40.416
The coach solely book is blah Nah give me a title.

00:07:40.497 --> 00:07:41.038
I need a title.

00:07:41.380 --> 00:07:49.026
No, it's coach Sully, oh, okay, okay, it's a hockey book and I don't know what's happening because you know, I've been in the hockey throws before.

00:07:49.928 --> 00:08:02.291
I feel like your whole, like all of your posts lately have been about hockey and that's like one athlete I have not like dug into and I feel like you've got me, you've got me curious here oh, I have one that I just saved.

00:08:02.319 --> 00:08:07.262
From this one I was like, sir, because like, the goalies have to be like super flexible and stuff.

00:08:07.262 --> 00:08:09.384
I just can't right now.

00:08:09.384 --> 00:08:12.766
So this is what I was going to say my life algorithm.

00:08:12.766 --> 00:08:13.807
Something's happening.

00:08:13.807 --> 00:08:18.670
So I wasn't reading for a little bit because I was too overwhelmed and I was watching a couple TV shows just to relax.

00:08:18.670 --> 00:08:19.711
Now I'm back and reading.

00:08:19.711 --> 00:08:22.572
Instagram is the reason I start this book.

00:08:22.572 --> 00:08:27.557
I've actually read one of the books in this series, but this is the first book I recommend starting with.

00:08:27.937 --> 00:08:29.637
Oh my God, that makes my eye twitch.

00:08:32.004 --> 00:08:34.448
I think I read book five, oh my God.

00:08:34.448 --> 00:08:36.272
So it's all good.

00:08:36.272 --> 00:08:37.514
Right now I've got five of these.

00:08:37.514 --> 00:08:38.883
Something happens.

00:08:38.883 --> 00:08:40.948
I asked the girls do you want to go to the rodeo?

00:08:40.948 --> 00:08:41.269
Last week?

00:08:41.269 --> 00:08:42.825
And they're like no, but the stingrays came to school and read books.

00:08:42.825 --> 00:08:44.052
So they're like we do want to go to the rodeo last weekend.

00:08:44.052 --> 00:08:45.519
They're like no, but the stingrays came to school and read books.

00:08:45.519 --> 00:08:48.327
So they're like we do want to see the stingrays.

00:08:48.327 --> 00:08:51.168
So I get hockey tickets for two weekends from now.

00:08:51.168 --> 00:08:53.187
The girls and I are going to do a stingrays game.

00:08:53.187 --> 00:08:57.509
My very good friend from Michael Kors reached out yesterday.

00:08:57.509 --> 00:09:07.893
She was like hey, she has season tickets to the Canes in Charlotte and she was like it'd be so fun if we like did a girls weekend, we could stay at the hotel the players stay at.

00:09:08.734 --> 00:09:10.416
We're totally going in February.

00:09:10.416 --> 00:09:13.168
Sounds like the beginning of a spicy book.

00:09:13.580 --> 00:09:15.445
I know like we're totally going in February.

00:09:15.445 --> 00:09:17.871
Obviously she's married to beautiful kids.

00:09:17.871 --> 00:09:21.368
Like I love her husband, but she's like she's taking the night off from momming.

00:09:21.368 --> 00:09:23.072
We have a hotel room.

00:09:23.072 --> 00:09:26.982
We're going to house Like am I?

00:09:26.982 --> 00:09:30.269
I just borrowing your clothes because she's the one that makes all the glam fan gear.

00:09:30.289 --> 00:09:42.513
Yes, she's like that's I may order something while you're there to get from her all right, well, order before, because it's all like custom, yes, so I'm going with her wearing her gear, we're going to the hain kane's hockey.

00:09:42.513 --> 00:09:48.489
And in fact also she was like, oh, I'm also coming into town in like two weeks because her sister's having a baby.

00:09:48.489 --> 00:09:49.601
She's like let's get lunch.

00:09:49.601 --> 00:09:51.586
I'm like, oh, I love this year.

00:09:52.128 --> 00:09:53.572
All right, so let's go back to the book.

00:09:53.572 --> 00:09:54.620
Let's go back to the book.

00:09:55.581 --> 00:09:57.764
Give me James, chapter four.

00:09:57.764 --> 00:09:59.427
I mean, we just like out of the gates.

00:09:59.427 --> 00:10:04.494
I won't even tell you more what happened here.

00:10:04.494 --> 00:10:05.434
Wait, where did my thing go?

00:10:05.434 --> 00:10:12.381
What, oh, I don't know.

00:10:12.381 --> 00:10:14.326
It like blanked back to FaceTime, but um, it literally like heat from the beginning.

00:10:14.326 --> 00:10:15.107
Live for an age gap.

00:10:15.107 --> 00:10:18.644
You know I love an age gap, do you God?

00:10:18.644 --> 00:10:20.628
Yes, yeah, depending.

00:10:20.628 --> 00:10:25.551
In this case it's the girl that's younger Okay, obviously, like he's the coach.

00:10:25.551 --> 00:10:25.952
So I'm excited.

00:10:25.952 --> 00:10:26.635
It's the girl that's younger.

00:10:26.635 --> 00:10:27.360
Okay, obviously, like he's the coach.

00:10:27.701 --> 00:10:29.107
I'm excited, so it's a series.

00:10:30.341 --> 00:10:32.850
Yeah, we can go all the way down the rabbit hole for this.

00:10:33.360 --> 00:10:36.590
Well, I can't because I've got to finish these other two up.

00:10:36.590 --> 00:10:40.028
Actually, I've got three series I'm working on right now.

00:10:40.028 --> 00:10:43.586
I know it's excessive, and then I'm reading the Mel Robbins book.

00:10:43.586 --> 00:10:46.712
So yeah, I know it's excessive and then I'm reading the Mel Robbins book.

00:10:46.753 --> 00:10:46.953
So I'm, I'm.

00:10:46.953 --> 00:10:49.143
Yeah, you're going down the hockey rabbit hole.

00:10:49.143 --> 00:10:50.184
You just know, I love it.

00:10:50.385 --> 00:10:51.629
I'll meet you there soon.

00:10:51.629 --> 00:10:53.903
I've got to finish what I'm what I've started.

00:10:53.903 --> 00:10:58.760
I'm in the, I'm in the rodeo bull riding, you know the chestnut spring series.

00:10:58.760 --> 00:11:01.085
So let me finish that and then I'll meet you there.

00:11:01.566 --> 00:11:05.553
I also matched with a Savannah Banana Shut up.

00:11:09.701 --> 00:11:10.866
No, get this.

00:11:10.866 --> 00:11:19.048
When we were in Greenville this weekend we went up to my old college and we drove around because they have this new football stadium.

00:11:19.048 --> 00:11:21.605
It's just a huge campus.

00:11:21.605 --> 00:11:30.780
Now when it was not when I was there, but anyway we saw like baseball players walking in the baseball stadium and I told Clark I'm like that's who your mommy used to like.

00:11:30.780 --> 00:11:32.946
She said who and I said baseball players.

00:11:33.506 --> 00:11:36.961
She said oh okay that didn't used to be my thing.

00:11:36.961 --> 00:11:43.991
I was a New Yorker so I mean like baseball was fun, but like I love baseball, the hockey players were like bad, like they were baddies.

00:11:43.991 --> 00:11:45.460
The hockey players were like bad, like they were baddies.

00:11:45.460 --> 00:11:47.567
The baseball players were like a little bit smarter.

00:11:47.567 --> 00:11:51.221
Well, I mean, obviously that's just not.

00:11:51.221 --> 00:11:57.089
I always was like helping with homework and stuff and like the baseball boys didn't need that.

00:12:00.062 --> 00:12:00.946
You like them dumb?

00:12:00.946 --> 00:12:02.264
Is that what you're saying?

00:12:02.605 --> 00:12:05.649
No, I just like them a little bit needy, I think.

00:12:06.201 --> 00:12:07.807
Oh God, no, I would sooner die.

00:12:07.807 --> 00:12:08.160
No.

00:12:08.884 --> 00:12:12.288
Well, this is my red flag stage, which I'm trying to get rid of.

00:12:12.649 --> 00:12:16.046
Yes, you match with a Savannah banana.

00:12:17.710 --> 00:12:20.004
Mm-hmm, is it hugely good.

00:12:20.004 --> 00:12:20.365
Later.

00:12:20.365 --> 00:12:25.302
Yeah, okay, I feel like I'm zero right now.

00:12:25.302 --> 00:12:34.821
Get in my detective skills so, and also my hinge is like so full of trolls right now I can't can I just interrupt real quick about detective skills?

00:12:35.361 --> 00:12:41.403
so we went out to eat the other night for my dad's 70th birthday happy birthday, jim, I love you.

00:12:41.403 --> 00:12:42.527
Um.

00:12:42.527 --> 00:12:43.669
And so we had.

00:12:43.669 --> 00:12:45.355
We went to eat hibachi.

00:12:45.355 --> 00:12:47.000
You know where they like cook in front of you.

00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:52.033
Well, our chef was a hoot and a half.

00:12:52.033 --> 00:12:53.277
He was so funny.

00:12:53.277 --> 00:12:54.119
He was a white guy.

00:12:54.119 --> 00:12:58.448
He kept making all of these jokes about like just all kinds of stuff.

00:12:58.448 --> 00:13:12.326
And it was even funnier because every my husband is Japanese and chef was white and he kept making all these Japanese jokes, like not knowing that Nate was Japanese, and so it was like even funnier.

00:13:12.326 --> 00:13:16.687
You know, I mean it was, it was funny and so, and the food was phenomenal.

00:13:16.687 --> 00:13:25.623
So, anyway, my dad was like oh, after he walked away and like finished, and all dad was like oh, I really wish we could have tipped him and like found him, I'd like to have him to the house and cook at home.

00:13:25.623 --> 00:13:33.442
Within 15 seconds I found the kid on Facebook, found his Venmo, so we could send him a tip.

00:13:33.442 --> 00:13:36.750
Like I'm like dad, don't ever doubt him.

00:13:37.591 --> 00:13:37.831
Huh.

00:13:38.232 --> 00:13:38.841
How come you couldn't?

00:13:38.860 --> 00:13:39.282
tip him.

00:13:39.863 --> 00:13:41.246
Well, you know, like tip him directly.

00:13:41.246 --> 00:13:53.522
My dad didn't have cash, so he was like I'd love to like be able to Venmo him.

00:13:53.522 --> 00:13:54.083
I'm like, oh, I got you.

00:13:54.083 --> 00:13:55.567
I found him within seriously 15 seconds flat.

00:13:55.567 --> 00:13:56.369
I'm like, jim, I got this.

00:13:56.389 --> 00:14:00.116
I am a super sleuth stalker, if you recall, I come to you and Whitney when I need stock, you do?

00:14:00.238 --> 00:14:05.692
you sent me that guy's picture and I reverse Google image, searched him and found him on LinkedIn.

00:14:05.692 --> 00:14:06.966
I am.

00:14:08.264 --> 00:14:09.067
I'm all about it.

00:14:09.067 --> 00:14:11.107
I have actually never had hibachi.

00:14:13.221 --> 00:14:16.090
You have got to be kidding me.

00:14:16.090 --> 00:14:18.167
What in the hell?

00:14:18.167 --> 00:14:21.046
You're joking, right?

00:14:21.046 --> 00:14:27.827
Oh, my God, I feel like I need to come get you, like tonight.

00:14:27.827 --> 00:14:29.011
Like, are you joking?

00:14:29.011 --> 00:14:30.923
No, I'm not being funny.

00:14:30.923 --> 00:14:39.692
Okay, One day I'm going to pick you up and we're going to go eat breakfast at Waffle House.

00:14:39.692 --> 00:14:44.692
We're going to go eat some other kind of lunch that I'm sure you haven't had, that I've eaten.

00:14:44.692 --> 00:14:48.759
I'm going to eat things in one day and then we're going to go eat some other kind of lunch that I'm sure you haven't had that I've eaten Things in one day, and then we're going to go eat hibashi for dinner.

00:14:48.899 --> 00:14:52.456
Let's just call it restaurant week, and we'll like check one thing off a day.

00:14:52.456 --> 00:14:54.806
Like I can only eat so many things in a day.

00:14:55.788 --> 00:15:00.741
Well, the waffle house will literally go in you and come immediately out of you, so that will be easy.

00:15:00.741 --> 00:15:04.144
It's like a enema with cheese.

00:15:04.365 --> 00:15:05.004
I cannot.

00:15:05.004 --> 00:15:18.256
I'm like afraid of what I'm going to say on the air at this point, but like I have become mysteriously close to shitting my pants in the last week, Dude, you know, I have done it, you can't.

00:15:20.284 --> 00:15:26.522
She was like do you remember that time we were walking into Publix and I was coming off of COVID and I don't?

00:15:26.522 --> 00:15:29.546
My stomach was just not and I totally shivered.

00:15:29.779 --> 00:15:36.253
This is like the conversation, Like this is one of those ones where, like, some of the people that give us feedback are going to be like, did you really say that?

00:15:36.253 --> 00:15:37.746
Like, yes, I'm single.

00:15:39.500 --> 00:15:40.424
Surely other people.

00:15:41.520 --> 00:15:43.426
I had to go into Harris Theater.

00:15:43.426 --> 00:15:45.772
I had cold sweats for 30 minutes after.

00:15:45.772 --> 00:15:49.586
I was like that was so fucking close, I'm going to die.

00:15:50.107 --> 00:15:52.913
I have slid in on two wheels coming to your place.

00:15:52.913 --> 00:15:55.964
You know this.

00:15:56.284 --> 00:15:59.621
I was at the office and I was like I have to go right now.

00:15:59.621 --> 00:16:01.524
I was like I have to leave.

00:16:01.524 --> 00:16:03.268
My dog has a UTI.

00:16:03.268 --> 00:16:03.808
I have to go.

00:16:03.808 --> 00:16:07.174
I am like a bloke.

00:16:08.042 --> 00:16:08.524
Oh my God.

00:16:08.524 --> 00:16:10.927
But back to the hibachi.

00:16:10.927 --> 00:16:12.725
I cannot believe you have not eaten hibachi.

00:16:12.725 --> 00:16:13.389
You're going to love it.

00:16:13.389 --> 00:16:14.846
It's phenomenal and it's a great show.

00:16:16.059 --> 00:16:18.668
No, I don't really even know how this happened.

00:16:18.668 --> 00:16:21.765
What Not eating hibachi?

00:16:22.059 --> 00:16:35.168
Well, and that's like where you go for birthdays, like that's where I grew up going, and then you hit the drum and I'm going to take you for your birthday, and they make you get up in the chair and do the chicken dance a chance and help.

00:16:35.188 --> 00:16:37.162
That's because you just keep your program.

00:16:37.162 --> 00:16:38.985
I'm not getting in any chair.

00:16:38.985 --> 00:16:45.869
Well, I'll get in some chairs, but not in the chair oh my god, I'm so excited.

00:16:47.461 --> 00:16:50.269
I wonder if I should put that on my hinge that I've never had had bought you.

00:16:50.269 --> 00:16:51.986
The problem is, everyone's going to want to do it.

00:16:51.986 --> 00:16:53.346
It's going to be like the McDonald's thing.

00:16:53.346 --> 00:16:54.788
Everyone's going to be like, can we take you to?

00:16:54.788 --> 00:16:58.225
And I'm like the whole throwing the shrimp in the mouth thing really flips me out.

00:16:58.225 --> 00:16:59.229
Oh my gosh, I love it.

00:16:59.229 --> 00:17:07.689
I get really mad when I don't catch it.

00:17:07.689 --> 00:17:08.332
This is the problem.

00:17:08.332 --> 00:17:08.653
Exactly that.

00:17:08.653 --> 00:17:09.678
What that?

00:17:09.678 --> 00:17:10.160
You're competitive.

00:17:12.339 --> 00:17:13.806
No, I just, I don't know about the catching of the shrimp in the mouth.

00:17:13.806 --> 00:17:14.990
Well, I mean, it's not like it's in somebody's mouth.

00:17:14.990 --> 00:17:17.359
Before it goes to your mouth, it literally is on the grill.

00:17:17.380 --> 00:17:21.836
and then they At this point, I am just concerned about the shrimp toss.

00:17:21.836 --> 00:17:22.838
What if I choke?

00:17:22.838 --> 00:17:24.778
I'm just concerned about the shrimp toss.

00:17:24.778 --> 00:17:26.082
What?

00:17:26.102 --> 00:17:26.323
if I choke.

00:17:26.323 --> 00:17:28.906
Oh my gosh, you sound like Clark Clark.

00:17:28.906 --> 00:17:39.382
Just she sits there like this and she does nothing that she bounces off of her head and she's just like nah, nah, man, I don't eat shrimp.

00:17:39.382 --> 00:17:42.784
And I'm like well then, give it to me.

00:17:43.484 --> 00:17:47.167
You know, I have no depth perception either at all.

00:17:47.167 --> 00:17:53.311
So, like anything that's like, I don't know yes, Okay, hibachi, hibachi and.

00:17:53.311 --> 00:17:55.173
At Trivial Pursuit.

00:17:55.173 --> 00:17:56.815
Just keep adding it to the list.

00:17:56.815 --> 00:17:59.817
I'm just like shook.

00:17:59.817 --> 00:18:12.260
Shook Because like I'm not really that sheltered but then like other things, it probably just wasn't like a family thing like we in we would go to like Italian places right, it's like New York or Greek.

00:18:12.260 --> 00:18:15.146
I like, love Greek, mediterranean, lebanese.

00:18:15.146 --> 00:18:20.005
So like for my birthday dinner I always picked there that restaurant with the two Lebanese brothers.

00:18:21.007 --> 00:18:23.551
Yeah, I loved it, it was always.

00:18:23.551 --> 00:18:24.674
That was always.

00:18:24.674 --> 00:18:29.507
Our thing was hibachi, because it's like a you get dinner and a show, right?

00:18:30.169 --> 00:18:32.917
no, I'm sure I like you know how I am about this stuff.

00:18:32.958 --> 00:18:39.029
I don't know, they make shapes out of the rice meatloaf, you know meatloaf well it?

00:18:39.150 --> 00:18:41.982
no, they take the rice and then they shape it.

00:18:41.982 --> 00:18:43.048
Well, usually they do like mickey mouse ears.

00:18:43.048 --> 00:18:43.631
Are they like a smiley face?

00:18:43.631 --> 00:18:44.094
And then they shape it.

00:18:44.094 --> 00:18:55.347
Well, usually they do like Mickey Mouse ears, or they like a smiley face, and then they do like Asian eyes with the sesame seeds and make it funny With your Asian eyes yeah, with my husband's in there.

00:18:55.347 --> 00:18:58.721
And then they do like the volcano with the onions.

00:18:58.721 --> 00:19:01.346
Oh my God, I cannot believe you haven't eaten hibachi.

00:19:01.346 --> 00:19:09.643
I am tripping, I'm tripping believe you haven't eaten hibachi.

00:19:09.663 --> 00:19:10.506
I am, I'm tripping, tripping.

00:19:10.506 --> 00:19:11.368
You can't believe it though.

00:19:11.368 --> 00:19:12.192
Okay, so what else?

00:19:12.211 --> 00:19:12.452
is happening.

00:19:12.452 --> 00:19:13.375
You how you decide on your word um.

00:19:13.375 --> 00:19:15.740
You know it's so funny funny.

00:19:15.781 --> 00:19:18.243
I should ask that it's january I know.

00:19:18.444 --> 00:19:26.113
well, here's the thing I'm totally going listen, I keep going back to listen and then I'm also.

00:19:26.113 --> 00:19:28.915
The word alignment keeps coming up.

00:19:28.915 --> 00:19:34.789
Not enlightenment, but alignment, like getting realigned, like your tires.

00:19:36.353 --> 00:19:42.930
And so Context though, because I understand, listen, but like I don't know if I would say that you're misaligned.

00:19:43.401 --> 00:19:44.986
No, I wouldn't say I'm misaligned.

00:19:44.986 --> 00:19:45.788
I just feel like.

00:19:46.791 --> 00:19:49.019
Are you waiting for things around you to align?

00:19:49.019 --> 00:19:49.531
Because that's still.

00:19:49.531 --> 00:19:50.173
Listen to me.

00:19:50.654 --> 00:19:52.140
Yeah, yeah, that's it, that's it.

00:19:52.140 --> 00:20:05.443
I just feel like Q4 got a little wonky for me last year and I'm just ready to kind of get back to where I was, if that makes sense, going into Q4.

00:20:05.950 --> 00:20:11.596
But I think we're listening still, because I think Listen is the one I keep going back to.

00:20:11.596 --> 00:20:18.624
Typically, I feel like when you feel out of line, it's because other people are determining some of the way that your time gets spent.

00:20:20.010 --> 00:20:23.930
I feel like I've been really doing a lot better with that, to be quite honest.

00:20:24.329 --> 00:20:38.777
In general, I feel like when that pull starts to happen, it's like you did have some like life things, yes, like through off the alignment, and I don't know if you could have but it just made me feel kind of wonky.

00:20:38.917 --> 00:20:45.655
You know what I mean, like not where I was trending, going and talk to her.

00:20:45.655 --> 00:20:49.301
I think it's with the pie fucking.

00:20:49.342 --> 00:20:59.461
Hey the pie right there, catalytic, like if I were to identify one specific event that took, uh, took, the crazy train.

00:20:59.500 --> 00:21:14.778
I think it might have been the pies well, it was health stuff and it was just like you know, I just it got a little, got a little wonky, but I feel good, like I feel really, like I said I do, like I said I keep going back to listening and what else other words do I have in my phone?

00:21:14.778 --> 00:21:15.358
Do you do this?

00:21:15.358 --> 00:21:27.678
Do you keep the, your little ideas and your, I know you keep other stuff and you're fine, but everything, nudes notes, everything uh, nudes.

00:21:27.778 --> 00:21:28.740
I do not keep nudes.

00:21:28.740 --> 00:21:30.702
I'm very concerned about that stuff getting like.

00:21:30.702 --> 00:21:34.396
I would not do that I have to go and delete all of them.

00:21:34.396 --> 00:21:37.977
I mean, don't you feel like people can like get on your phone?

00:21:37.977 --> 00:21:41.432
Okay, I'm a little concerned.

00:21:41.432 --> 00:21:44.682
I think everything syncs.

00:21:46.851 --> 00:21:49.098
I know, that's why we don't use my computer when we go places.

00:21:49.529 --> 00:21:50.473
That's very true.

00:21:50.473 --> 00:21:52.078
We never know what's going to pop up.

00:21:52.078 --> 00:21:56.205
But yeah, listen is probably going to be my word.

00:21:56.205 --> 00:21:56.750
What about you.

00:21:56.750 --> 00:22:00.298
Have you ever really brought up a word, or just using the same one?

00:22:00.298 --> 00:22:01.402
I know my word.

00:22:04.250 --> 00:22:06.194
My word this year.

00:22:06.194 --> 00:22:07.577
What is it?

00:22:07.577 --> 00:22:09.863
You're going to kill me, oh God.

00:22:09.863 --> 00:22:11.955
My word this year is love.

00:22:11.955 --> 00:22:12.701
Oh, why am're going to kill me?

00:22:12.701 --> 00:22:13.750
Oh God, my word, this year is love.

00:22:14.530 --> 00:22:15.613
Ooh well, how am I going?

00:22:15.653 --> 00:22:15.973
to kill you.

00:22:15.973 --> 00:22:16.876
I love that word.

00:22:17.217 --> 00:22:17.618
I don't know.

00:22:17.618 --> 00:22:25.022
So I cause I think people are going to misinterpret it as I am looking for love and that is not what's happening.

00:22:25.022 --> 00:22:40.558
I, when I needed more last year, the year before, I had to do a lot less and start saying no to things so that I could clear through the rubble and figure out what the plan was and figure out exactly what was happening from my perspective and then around me.

00:22:40.558 --> 00:22:48.817
I spent a lot of time with a therapist figuring out like my values and beliefs, like I really had to put the foundation back, and that meant I had to step away from a lot of things.

00:22:48.817 --> 00:22:55.674
Then last year was the more year, meant I had to step away from a lot of things.

00:22:55.674 --> 00:22:56.417
Then last year was the more year.

00:22:56.417 --> 00:23:10.500
I did everything and I, or I tried to, realistically, and then what I started to realize is I still wasn't like comfortable with people pouring authentic love into me, even though I find it very easy to give love to other people.

00:23:10.500 --> 00:23:16.086
So this year I'm going to do a better job of both.

00:23:16.086 --> 00:23:30.251
So that means like, whether it's like the friendships or like I'm, I'm definitely back to this like joke I made about like not chasing whatever it is, like I'm going to be very like.

00:23:30.251 --> 00:23:34.810
I'm going to continue also being a person who's come out of a divorce and other things.

00:23:34.851 --> 00:23:38.940
I think it'd be really easy to be, I guess, angry.

00:23:38.940 --> 00:23:44.597
I don't feel a lot of anger We've talked about this but it'd be really easy to withhold that also.

00:23:44.597 --> 00:23:49.512
It is not scary for me to give out love.

00:23:49.512 --> 00:23:53.234
I actually realized last year that it's one of the most fun things for me.

00:23:53.234 --> 00:23:54.540
Like I tell my friends I love them.

00:23:54.540 --> 00:23:57.010
Now I like give it more freely.

00:23:57.010 --> 00:24:02.603
Like I just don't feel and before that I was in a tough place to really be doing that too.

00:24:02.603 --> 00:24:12.978
But I'm going to continue on that same path in a bigger way, and I'm not going to require anyone to reciprocate it in any fashion.

00:24:12.978 --> 00:24:26.393
That is not the catalyst for how I'm going to give it out, but then also I'm going to be paying closer attention to where I get it from and then also I'm really going to try to accept it instead of question it.

00:24:27.796 --> 00:24:29.038
Yes, that has.

00:24:29.097 --> 00:24:57.040
you know the more I study your enneagram about you that that's fairly common that you, that eights, struggle with the vulnerability kind of squishy side yeah, do you remember, in one of our first podcasts I want to say it was our first sleepover I told you I was like I said the thing about the hug that I just didn't feel like you were, like you wanted hugs.

00:24:57.040 --> 00:25:01.657
You've gotten so much more huggy in that time and that's been about a year.

00:25:01.657 --> 00:25:05.951
Some people are allowed to hug me, but I'm just saying that's a big deal.

00:25:05.951 --> 00:25:08.855
Like, see, I hug everybody, like it's all I make it very weird.

00:25:08.895 --> 00:25:09.175
No, no, no.

00:25:09.175 --> 00:25:14.943
I know for sure that the Enneagram eight part of me is going to be like not you, you just like.

00:25:14.943 --> 00:25:22.192
One thing that I know I won't change is like how I do Cause it's like natural, like how I protect my energy from certain people.

00:25:22.192 --> 00:25:32.269
But if I'm not protecting it from people, like if you're in, I really need to let like.

00:25:32.269 --> 00:25:37.421
I just need to believe that the words and the actions that you're giving me are coming from a good place and not spend time questioning that.

00:25:37.421 --> 00:25:48.017
And if, down the road, whether that's a romantic relationship or a platonic relationship, if that turns out to be wrong, that's a you thing, still has nothing to do with me.

00:25:48.017 --> 00:25:58.458
Right, you showed up without honesty, or if you were inauthentic, I'm really getting to a place where I do truly not feel like that's my responsibility.

00:25:58.758 --> 00:26:00.842
No, like Let them.

00:26:00.842 --> 00:26:01.844
I'm telling you this book.

00:26:01.844 --> 00:26:08.136
Yeah, I'm reading the Let them book by Mel Robbins, y'all, and I'm like eight or nine pages in and it is.

00:26:08.136 --> 00:26:20.497
It's one of those ones you got to get the highlighter out because it is just freaking phenomenal.

00:26:20.497 --> 00:26:22.662
It just it really is such an incredible book and it's a really easy read.

00:26:22.662 --> 00:26:24.345
It's not as wordy as other like quote-unquote self-help books.

00:26:24.345 --> 00:26:25.166
I hate that.

00:26:25.166 --> 00:26:26.532
I hate when people say self-help.

00:26:26.532 --> 00:26:27.977
That drives me crazy.

00:26:28.116 --> 00:26:34.632
I'm like it's not self-help, it's just like jennifer sisk said that she was like you have to remember that some of this is still opinion.

00:26:34.632 --> 00:26:46.597
Right, you write it from the form of opinion, like you have to remember that when you're absorbing it, like some of it is just first of all, you're not necessarily broken, even if you are, it's not this idea that like cause.

00:26:46.597 --> 00:26:53.711
I feel like some people thought that way, I mean my first husband thought that way about therapy.

00:26:53.730 --> 00:26:55.133
He was like, oh good, like go fix it, and that's not what you know.

00:26:55.133 --> 00:26:56.733
I think that there's nothing wrong.

00:26:56.733 --> 00:27:09.085
Like you know, it's okay for us to go to the gym, it's okay for us to eat healthier, like, why is it any different for us to try to better where we are from a mental state so we can be better and show up different in our relationships?

00:27:09.085 --> 00:27:11.307
I don't think that there's anything wrong with that.

00:27:11.307 --> 00:27:23.809
But the book it's just phenomenal and especially you know, when it talks about relationships in your life, that people are going to be who they are by nature.

00:27:23.809 --> 00:27:33.933
As men, we are just very selfish and self-involved and people show you who they are, whether it's through action or lack of action, words or lack of words.

00:27:33.933 --> 00:27:36.619
It's pretty basic.

00:27:37.421 --> 00:27:47.240
No, that was when I was a kid and I was only allowed to watch one hour of TV, or sorry, half an hour, and I would choose Oprah, because it was an hour, and try to get away with it, you've never told me that it was.

00:27:47.340 --> 00:27:47.801
Oprah.

00:27:47.801 --> 00:27:51.661
I would always choose Oprah to see if I could get away with the whole show told me that it was Oprah.

00:27:51.661 --> 00:27:53.423
I would always choose Oprah to see if I could get away with the whole show.

00:27:53.423 --> 00:27:59.258
So, on top of it, I wasn't watching like jump TV, I was watching freaking Oprah, but she talks about like she had a guest on.

00:27:59.258 --> 00:28:00.522
I remember who the guest was.

00:28:00.522 --> 00:28:03.292
It might've been Gail Cause, like at the time.

00:28:03.432 --> 00:28:10.654
I don't really remember though, but Oprah was talking about being a young black woman and working and somebody taking advantage of her and all this stuff.

00:28:10.654 --> 00:28:25.298
But she was like people show you who they are, believe them the first time, and I'll never I mean, I was probably like a junior in high school or like a sophomore in high school Like this TV game went on forever, just so we're clear.

00:28:25.298 --> 00:28:31.398
But I'll never forget that, and it's like one of those things like I'll never forget that.

00:28:31.398 --> 00:28:45.961
And my mom had a book on her nightstand called love me or hate me, just don't ignore me, and I knew that was about my middle brother, like I knew.

00:28:45.961 --> 00:29:01.609
And then she'd be like and negative attention is the same as positive attention, depending on who you are and I was like gosh you might love me or hate me just don't ignore me and it was like literally a parenting book and I knew it had to do with my middle brother because he was a handful.

00:29:02.892 --> 00:29:05.537
Um, he's a middle child, that's how they are.

00:29:05.537 --> 00:29:12.592
But like those two things like really stuck with me and people do they show you who they are, believe them.

00:29:12.592 --> 00:29:13.294
The first time.

00:29:13.795 --> 00:29:14.857
See, I need to work on that.

00:29:14.857 --> 00:29:15.721
I'm not good at that.

00:29:15.721 --> 00:29:20.080
I give people the benefit of the doubt a billion times over.

00:29:21.992 --> 00:29:29.724
Well, like, if somebody, there's a big difference between, like making a mistake, apologizing and then actively never making that mistake again.

00:29:29.724 --> 00:29:31.895
Like that's like the big like.

00:29:31.895 --> 00:29:56.695
I'm all about giving people grace, but one of the things that I'm doing in this love situation is also being like I love myself enough to understand that there's a big difference between grace and changing behavior and then just like, like, just moving on with it and I'm not some of that stuff, I'm just like, oh, I don't know.

00:29:57.557 --> 00:30:03.536
Well, and I think too is important, I know Love your word, I love love, I love the in so many ways.

00:30:03.536 --> 00:30:06.240
I love that and like.

00:30:06.240 --> 00:30:10.577
I, because I know I know you better than I knew that that wasn't your.

00:30:11.159 --> 00:30:17.512
No, I didn't think, yeah, you know, but somebody is going to be like, oh, she's on hinge, like she's like looking for love.

00:30:17.512 --> 00:30:40.172
I'm like, no, my friend, I have some very deep love in my friendships right now where I'm just like I wish that people actually I'm trying to teach my girls this too Like I wish that people talked more about getting like true love from their platonic friendships than just from this one person, whether it's your marriage or your parents.

00:30:40.172 --> 00:30:45.913
Because like how many people do you know that didn't receive the love that they needed from their parents and then spend their whole?

00:30:45.913 --> 00:30:49.832
I'm like, oh my God, like you can have great love from a teacher.

00:30:49.832 --> 00:30:55.483
Like I'm trying to talk to my kids about this from like even a coaching perspective.

00:30:55.483 --> 00:31:04.450
Like my kids have some coaches that like really love them, yeah, and like I just, or they see it out there, even with their teammates.

00:31:04.450 --> 00:31:12.365
And I'm like trying to instill this idea of like we don't just like go to high school, go to college, pick a major, pick a husband.

00:31:14.390 --> 00:31:14.490
I'm?

00:31:14.490 --> 00:31:15.814
Um, yeah, I had a.

00:31:15.814 --> 00:31:18.319
I had a talk with my niece this weekend about that.

00:31:18.319 --> 00:31:24.039
She is that high school is in that right after college.

00:31:24.039 --> 00:31:25.321
I feel like it's so tough.

00:31:25.321 --> 00:31:30.617
I have two nieces who kind of tried to find their way and you know, that's just a weird age.

00:31:30.617 --> 00:31:33.503
They just don't know what to do.

00:31:33.503 --> 00:31:43.561
You know, I feel like they're taught to, just like you said check all the boxes, do all the things go in this order go to college, pick a spouse, go to work.

00:31:44.210 --> 00:31:48.538
Well, those are all the good girl things, like all the good girl things from those things.

00:31:49.089 --> 00:31:54.039
And so you know, meanwhile you know crazy aunt jenny comes in.

00:31:54.039 --> 00:32:05.259
I'm like, no, get out of school, get out of your house, go travel agent or go do a do flight attendant school and go do that for two years, travel the world, go make some money and have fun.

00:32:05.259 --> 00:32:07.792
And they're like, looking at me like deer in headlights.

00:32:07.792 --> 00:32:14.003
I'm like'm like nobody's telling you that you have to do it this way, go do it.

00:32:14.003 --> 00:32:31.076
And so one of my true story, my niece, and it's taken her a little bit to get there, but she's working for a great job at a great company, golf company and she is touring the US doing sports stuff that she loves, meeting all kinds of incredible people.

00:32:31.076 --> 00:32:35.939
And I'm like, baby, good for you, that's exactly what you needed to do.

00:32:35.939 --> 00:32:43.402
You don't need to get saddled down by the freaking kid when you're 23 years old no, or a man or a man, you do it.

00:32:43.781 --> 00:32:44.483
Go live your life.

00:32:44.483 --> 00:32:52.257
I feel like sometimes when I say, even from that therapy perspective, like figuring out your values and beliefs, people are like, oh, I know my values and beliefs.

00:32:52.257 --> 00:32:53.361
I'm like, are you sure about that?

00:32:53.361 --> 00:32:56.162
Right, because I definitely thought I knew mine.

00:32:56.162 --> 00:33:07.692
But once we started picking them apart, I knew my parents, I knew my husbands, I knew what I wanted my kids to have, but mine had gotten so far lost.

00:33:07.692 --> 00:33:10.438
They can be different than your parents.

00:33:10.438 --> 00:33:15.253
Like I got news for you, like I, what did I see the other day?

00:33:15.253 --> 00:33:19.011
It was like the average age of buying your first home is like 47.

00:33:19.011 --> 00:33:20.655
Now, no, I believe it.

00:33:20.655 --> 00:33:23.241
I know I'm like we've already had multiple homes.

00:33:23.241 --> 00:33:25.271
Like, but the world isn't the same way that it was.

00:33:25.311 --> 00:33:33.964
Like you can't just it wasn't and I mean, I look back and I did some of those things like knowing that it felt very unnatural to me.

00:33:34.404 --> 00:33:34.625
Yeah.

00:33:35.269 --> 00:33:41.542
Like I did it and I was just like I just I'm doing this because I feel like I need to do it, but I don't really want to do it.

00:33:41.542 --> 00:33:46.806
Yeah, like it felt very off purpose and you know I always talk about on and off purpose.

00:33:46.806 --> 00:33:54.688
It felt very off purpose for me, like I didn't it wasn't good for me to do that yet, but I did it because I thought I was supposed to.

00:33:55.268 --> 00:34:00.280
Right, Well, and you're still living your parents' values and beliefs, and they're, I mean, God.

00:34:00.280 --> 00:34:11.237
Our parents are grew up in a completely different world and our kids are growing up in a extremely different world and I'm just like why don't we teach them of this?

00:34:11.237 --> 00:34:14.335
Why aren't we talking about like even some of this stuff in school?

00:34:14.335 --> 00:34:15.077
I'm so.

00:34:15.298 --> 00:34:17.492
Oh my God, I got on this soap box this weekend.

00:34:17.492 --> 00:34:25.038
I know my parents think I'm bananas, but we were talking about as we were walking around my, driving through my college town.

00:34:25.038 --> 00:34:30.177
They're like, oh, you didn't really get serious about school until you know you found out all your friends were going to college.

00:34:30.177 --> 00:34:32.159
I'm like I hated school.

00:34:32.159 --> 00:34:35.226
I'm like who in the hell needs chemistry?

00:34:35.226 --> 00:34:37.289
Who in the hell needs algebra?

00:34:37.289 --> 00:34:42.731
Never, mr child's, my hot chemistry yes, I mean, I'm glad I'm lucky for you that you had that, but I did not.

00:34:42.771 --> 00:34:44.655
That was my mind it wasn't amazing.

00:34:44.655 --> 00:34:48.130
I can't just trade, just had a like why did we need that stuff?

00:34:48.331 --> 00:34:50.634
why did y'all not teach about 401k?

00:34:50.634 --> 00:34:57.405
Why did you not teach how to manage a freaking checkbook or fill out a W-2, or about verifying an I-9?

00:34:57.405 --> 00:34:59.538
Like these are life skills.

00:34:59.538 --> 00:35:07.137
Like I hated school because it was freaking stupid Public speaking, yes, being understood Like oh my gosh.

00:35:07.429 --> 00:35:10.315
Or being more creative, like learning more creative things.

00:35:10.315 --> 00:35:11.760
I'm telling you, I went on my oh, my gosh.

00:35:11.760 --> 00:35:15.112
Or be more creative, like learning more creative things, like why, I'm telling you.

00:35:15.112 --> 00:35:15.153
I went on.

00:35:15.153 --> 00:35:20.059
My parents looked at me like I'd lost my damn mind, but I'm like, I think it's stupid, I'm telling you Learning how to be a partner, whether it's a business partner or not.

00:35:20.632 --> 00:35:24.302
I saw this thing on Instagram the other day that and this just happened to me on Hinge.

00:35:24.302 --> 00:35:29.614
But the girl was like I'm in the bathroom, she's like putting on her lip gloss, she's like I can't go out there.

00:35:29.614 --> 00:35:31.556
We have been here for 90 minutes.

00:35:31.556 --> 00:35:35.199
I have asked this man no short of 47 questions.

00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:37.059
He has asked me zero.

00:35:37.059 --> 00:35:42.043
I could write his autobiography and he does not know anything about me.

00:35:42.043 --> 00:35:43.545
What are we doing?

00:35:43.545 --> 00:35:46.907
And I was like Was it a date?

00:35:46.907 --> 00:35:50.237
It was a date and like that just happened to me over like three days on Hinge.

00:35:50.237 --> 00:35:57.836
I was like I really want to try here, but like I do not like that at all she was like I need to get out of here.

00:35:58.490 --> 00:36:00.831
But, like anytime, I was like, what kind of music do you like?

00:36:00.831 --> 00:36:02.940
I love Chris Stapleton.

00:36:02.940 --> 00:36:04.541
Everyone fucking loves Chris Stapleton.

00:36:04.541 --> 00:36:06.077
I'm going to need you to.

00:36:06.077 --> 00:36:07.001
I mean.

00:36:07.001 --> 00:36:11.458
God bless America, but at least like it's like a tennis match.

00:36:11.960 --> 00:36:13.565
I ask you, you ask me.

00:36:15.778 --> 00:36:18.746
Yeah, like what's on repeat on your radio, like do you, I don't know?

00:36:18.746 --> 00:36:19.637
Or like does music?

00:36:19.637 --> 00:36:27.382
And honestly, also tell me if you think you're John Mayer, because if you get a guitar out and start playing, that is going to be the second time I shit my pants.

00:36:27.382 --> 00:36:29.246
In the last week I got to go.

00:36:29.246 --> 00:36:30.128
I can't.

00:36:30.128 --> 00:36:32.117
I have this thing about John Mayer.

00:36:32.117 --> 00:36:33.358
It's a no for me.

00:36:33.358 --> 00:36:35.322
You can ask my friend Liz, who lives in DC.

00:36:35.322 --> 00:36:38.556
Is he even relevant anymore?

00:36:38.556 --> 00:36:43.755
I'm just saying there was something when he came out where I was like this is disgusting.

00:36:43.755 --> 00:36:49.987
If somebody did this for me, there's no way I would feel any sort of way other than like I was going to be tucked into a suitcase.

00:36:49.987 --> 00:36:52.617
Not for me, please don't.

00:36:53.599 --> 00:36:54.661
So that's like your hinge.

00:36:54.661 --> 00:36:57.088
Lately is people not asking questions.

00:36:58.215 --> 00:37:01.985
Yeah Well, you know, I like barely let anyone in, so I'm like the biggest gatekeeper.

00:37:01.985 --> 00:37:11.280
When I had to restart it, it was like because you have to pay to see everybody, it was like you have 872 potential matches.

00:37:11.280 --> 00:37:12.021
Would you like to?

00:37:12.021 --> 00:37:15.449
Oh my God, I hit the X on them either.

00:37:15.449 --> 00:37:17.036
Hinge pros.

00:37:17.036 --> 00:37:19.682
Here is my little sweet spot.

00:37:19.682 --> 00:37:23.177
First of all, you do have to pay to see people, which is really annoying.

00:37:23.177 --> 00:37:32.503
But if you hit it and act like you're going to check out and then you don't actually check out, within 48 hours they're going to offer you a really sick coupon and $50 for three months.

00:37:32.543 --> 00:37:33.344
Good to know.

00:37:33.344 --> 00:37:38.056
Um, so funny statement really about that.

00:37:38.056 --> 00:37:44.465
So when I was a dating gal, I did not want anybody to ask questions about me whatsoever.

00:37:44.465 --> 00:37:47.409
No, like at all.

00:37:47.409 --> 00:37:51.744
Like you get my name, maybe my phone number, and I'm not giving.

00:37:51.744 --> 00:37:52.206
I don't want to.

00:37:52.206 --> 00:37:54.382
Like you wanted to go on a date before you talked.

00:37:54.382 --> 00:38:04.967
No, I'm just saying that, like I did not like anybody asking questions about me, like I would am much more comfortable talking about other people than I am myself.

00:38:09.695 --> 00:38:14.135
It's not that I want them to ask, it's just like we get to the point where I'm like I can literally tell you so many things about yourself and you can tell me nothing.

00:38:14.135 --> 00:38:16.661
But wait, this is the real tip.

00:38:16.661 --> 00:38:18.824
That was just a pro tip about coupons.

00:38:18.824 --> 00:38:30.545
There's a thing where, when they go to match to you, you have to hit the X so that they can't match, or you can hit the little speech bubble so they go in and they can actually talk to you, right?

00:38:30.545 --> 00:38:34.661
Otherwise, you're in this middle area where you have to decide if you want to match to them or not.

00:38:34.661 --> 00:38:40.500
Do not hit the X, just leave them there.

00:38:41.663 --> 00:38:43.126
I like to call it purgatory.

00:38:43.126 --> 00:38:46.514
But if you leave them there, I like to call it purgatory.

00:38:46.514 --> 00:38:49.637
But if you leave them there, hinge can't recycle them back to you.

00:38:49.637 --> 00:38:57.610
Stay there and Hinge is required to show other people to you, which is why there are so many people there.

00:38:57.610 --> 00:39:05.847
You hit the bubble if you want to match, otherwise you just leave them in that nice little purgatory tucked away in those clean sheets.

00:39:05.847 --> 00:39:14.119
You don't have to deal with it, but otherwise it will keep recycling the same people to you and we don't have time for that.

00:39:14.561 --> 00:39:15.423
You leave it right there.

00:39:15.423 --> 00:39:17.260
I just had a great idea for a reel.

00:39:17.260 --> 00:39:22.103
You need to do like hinge tips and do a reel on it.

00:39:22.103 --> 00:39:24.981
Okay, I think that would be genius.

00:39:24.981 --> 00:39:27.163
That shit would probably get million views.

00:39:27.835 --> 00:39:30.320
I'm serious, it's a brilliant tip.

00:39:30.820 --> 00:39:31.762
Brilliant tip.

00:39:33.164 --> 00:39:39.646
I also saw a tip the other day that wasn't, it was not a hinge tip, but the girl was on a podcast and the boys were rolling.

00:39:39.646 --> 00:39:43.123
Somebody called her and she was like Ooh, I don't think I want to answer this.

00:39:43.123 --> 00:39:49.706
And she goes hey, and like, turned the like, put it to the icons thing, and then hit the airplane mode and left it like that.

00:39:49.706 --> 00:39:51.518
And they were like why did you just do that?

00:39:51.518 --> 00:39:54.755
She's like cause it answered and now it says disconnected and they won't be able to call back.

00:39:54.755 --> 00:39:57.559
But it doesn't say that I didn't answer it or that I hung up.

00:39:57.559 --> 00:40:02.786
Dude, that's genius.

00:40:02.786 --> 00:40:05.789
They were like oh, my, my God, she's like yeah, just let me.

00:40:05.789 --> 00:40:14.668
Hey, oh my, and she just like scrolled down, hit the airplane and left it.

00:40:14.668 --> 00:40:16.074
She's like nothing to see here.

00:40:16.577 --> 00:40:18.795
Oh my gosh, that's genius.

00:40:18.795 --> 00:40:26.081
We need to add these tips in our episode description Something about it right.

00:40:26.081 --> 00:40:33.568
I was like this is solid gold, your brain is just like this Rolodex of all of these pieces of information.

00:40:35.675 --> 00:40:40.527
It's not really helping me, but the purgatory tip, I think, is absolutely clutch.

00:40:42.438 --> 00:40:43.300
It can help others.

00:40:43.300 --> 00:40:45.166
What's the number one dating app these days?

00:40:46.757 --> 00:40:47.380
Well, no, no, no.

00:40:47.380 --> 00:40:48.262
Here's the deal.

00:40:48.262 --> 00:40:52.119
I think some of them are just for sex, right, bumble, tinder, some of that stuff.

00:40:52.119 --> 00:40:57.521
So what I have been told is that hinge is like more relationship focused.

00:40:57.521 --> 00:40:58.164
Okay.

00:40:58.445 --> 00:40:58.945
Good to know.

00:40:59.266 --> 00:41:17.621
I mean not good, not for me, but oh, I'm, when I go to Charlotte, I'm absolutely changing my mileage to within one mile for the entire hockey game, so that anybody that's at the hockey game players included who has fake teeth.

00:41:17.621 --> 00:41:19.806
Oh my God, I love that.

00:41:19.806 --> 00:41:25.682
I asked my orthodontist to put listen first of all hang on pause.

00:41:25.682 --> 00:41:33.438
You love what I love, I mean, if you most people don't have beautiful real teeth.

00:41:33.438 --> 00:41:36.806
So if you have beautiful fake teeth, I love that for you.

00:41:36.806 --> 00:41:37.447
But what?

00:41:38.376 --> 00:41:43.947
do they like come out like a day and they like pop out their front teeth?

00:41:44.067 --> 00:41:44.829
so they can eat that.

00:41:44.829 --> 00:41:47.175
But have you ever seen that guy that's like?

00:41:47.175 --> 00:41:52.688
He's definitely like kind of tall and thick and he has like the two front teeth that are fake.

00:41:52.976 --> 00:42:03.362
Yes, I'm, I would date him but like they like popped him out, or they like you were kissing and they like popped out no, they slide out like your grandma's teeth.

00:42:04.764 --> 00:42:06.346
I think they stay pretty nice in there.

00:42:06.346 --> 00:42:08.690
I'm not opposed.

00:42:08.690 --> 00:42:16.137
I'm also more than halfway through my Invisalign journey and I think we are going to have to get like a little veneer action.

00:42:16.137 --> 00:42:17.362
We've been talking about this.

00:42:17.362 --> 00:42:20.137
I'm having a little dental work done in February.

00:42:20.577 --> 00:42:22.181
You are A little bonding.

00:42:22.181 --> 00:42:23.764
Yeah, I'm into it.

00:42:23.764 --> 00:42:25.367
I'm a freak about teeth.

00:42:26.375 --> 00:42:27.610
I cannot wait for this Invisalign journey to be done.

00:42:27.610 --> 00:42:27.668
I actually hate it.

00:42:27.668 --> 00:42:27.643
I'm going to do it.

00:42:27.643 --> 00:42:27.759
I'm a freak about teeth this.

00:42:27.759 --> 00:42:28.858
I cannot wait for this Invisalign journey to be done.

00:42:28.858 --> 00:42:29.820
I actually hate it.

00:42:29.820 --> 00:42:47.938
I feel so bad because I love my orthodontist and every time he asked me about it I'm like you know I loathe this, but there's so much change already and he is like I think ultimately you're going to want a little veneer action but we got a whole plan.

00:42:47.978 --> 00:42:54.304
I have this reoccurring dream and I'm talking like I've had this same dream as long as I can remember that I'm standing in front of like a medicine cabinet mirror.

00:42:54.896 --> 00:42:55.880
Oh, this is a thing.

00:42:56.295 --> 00:42:58.362
And all of my teeth fall out in my hands.

00:42:59.094 --> 00:43:03.916
It's my fear in real life, because they get like sore and loose kind of, and I'm like Same, I'm telling you.

00:43:03.956 --> 00:43:08.016
I'm a freak and so I Googled it and I'm like what the hell is wrong with me?

00:43:08.016 --> 00:43:16.802
And it means that you're vain, which is not far fetched on my end.

00:43:16.902 --> 00:43:23.099
I'm like, okay, yeah, so I go to High Tide right here across from Costco and he's like I love their logo, amazing.

00:43:23.099 --> 00:43:32.625
He's like his wife created that that she used to work for chubbies his wife is actually the was the creator of the original main chubbies design.

00:43:32.625 --> 00:43:37.784
That's all the neon lights on the dark blue board yep, fun fact.

00:43:37.784 --> 00:43:40.813
Um, and she did all of the art inside of there too.

00:43:40.813 --> 00:43:41.614
She's like amazing.

00:43:41.614 --> 00:43:45.710
But, um, they're also like a big sponsor for the swim team.

00:43:45.710 --> 00:43:46.894
So I know all kinds of stuff about them.

00:43:46.894 --> 00:43:52.489
But his big thing is like, just so, you know, teeth should have some character.

00:43:52.489 --> 00:43:55.380
So, like, he's got a good perspective on that too.

00:43:55.380 --> 00:43:58.739
So we keep going back and forth about this, like should we get a little veneer?

00:43:58.739 --> 00:44:02.918
Should we not Cause like there has to be some reshaping, that happens and a bunch of other things.

00:44:02.918 --> 00:44:08.057
So he's like but let's not forget that they should have a little character.

00:44:08.057 --> 00:44:12.507
And I'm like, yeah, dr Trav, you figure out how much is enough character.

00:44:13.074 --> 00:44:14.579
Yeah, that's exactly what my dentist told me.

00:44:14.579 --> 00:44:22.356
Last week I went to expertise dental over there by Park West preschool Okay, um, same thing.

00:44:22.356 --> 00:44:26.077
And honestly, I had heard about them and I knew they were there.

00:44:26.077 --> 00:44:45.507
But I went in because I followed him on Instagram and he does a brilliant job of his Instagram for a cosmetic dentist and I told him that he was like oh that's, I'm so glad that you told me that he was like sometimes I feel like I'm putting it out there and like nobody's really why I'm like well, that's why I'm here.

00:44:45.507 --> 00:44:48.349
I feel like I'm putting it out there and like nobody's really I'm like well, that's why I'm here, it's because you do such a good job.

00:44:48.349 --> 00:44:49.909
He's like well, that makes me feel good.

00:44:49.909 --> 00:44:51.409
But yeah, so he said the same thing.

00:44:51.409 --> 00:44:54.090
He was like you know, your teeth should have some.

00:44:54.090 --> 00:44:59.173
I mean, I hate discoloration, but they should look normal, right?

00:44:59.894 --> 00:45:03.983
They should look like, they should have some character, they should have like chiclet teeth out of Dennis the Menace.

00:45:04.643 --> 00:45:05.907
I know, you know what.

00:45:05.907 --> 00:45:06.608
I'm talking about.

00:45:06.989 --> 00:45:23.375
Yep, I do know Dennis the Menace and I know chiclets, but like this is a real conversation, I'm telling you like we're talking about possibly getting like four veneers and I'm like all right, like if we get there, he's like let's wait till April, let's see what we got.

00:45:23.375 --> 00:45:24.800
We're going to reshape a little bit.

00:45:26.855 --> 00:45:28.858
But till april let's see what we got.

00:45:28.858 --> 00:45:34.103
We're gonna reshape a little bit, but I'm only about to listen and guess what I did the other day?

00:45:34.103 --> 00:45:35.847
I got a facial, oh, but no, not at home.

00:45:37.288 --> 00:45:44.681
No, sorry, nate your podcast is already out of control, so it doesn't matter, we're already talking about pooping our pants.

00:45:45.342 --> 00:45:48.344
Um, at the facial room downtown charleston.

00:45:48.344 --> 00:45:53.130
Her name is kate lovely, and I have committed to myself.

00:45:53.130 --> 00:45:58.385
That was one of the things I committed to myself for this year was taking more time for myself.

00:45:58.385 --> 00:46:00.735
Yep, and look, I've already done it.

00:46:00.735 --> 00:46:04.684
I've done my teeth appointment, I've done my facial, yep.

00:46:05.284 --> 00:46:05.726
Look at me, go.

00:46:05.726 --> 00:46:13.583
I mean, I know I have a theory on why we're both doing the teeth, but I'm going to keep it off the air for a second.

00:46:14.456 --> 00:46:15.181
Oh, I can't wait.

00:46:15.181 --> 00:46:25.561
I know, don't worry so far, I need pictures of the hockey player, nope, savannah Banana, and I'm going to need to have teeth talk with you.

00:46:26.501 --> 00:46:27.304
Teeth talk.

00:46:27.704 --> 00:46:27.905
Yep.

00:46:29.447 --> 00:46:30.108
That's a good time.

00:46:30.108 --> 00:46:32.641
We're 45 minutes in.

00:46:33.516 --> 00:46:35.163
We have a guest next time, don't we?

00:46:35.163 --> 00:46:47.001
We have Kirsten Hatcher coming Me too, yay, and we've gotten a lot of feedback that that was actually one of our favorite everybody's favorite guest, so I'm excited to be with her again.

00:46:47.474 --> 00:46:48.438
Yes, you know what started.

00:46:48.438 --> 00:46:52.958
It was this conversation about the notes app, because then I love her, she's amazing.

00:46:52.958 --> 00:47:13.005
But she reached out and she was like I tell my patients to use their notes app so that they can really work through these conversations, and I was like we need to talk about this more, like I love this idea of having a diary, but you know, I have to voice text or else I get in the wheeze and my handwriting sucks and I just get really bogged down.

00:47:13.005 --> 00:47:18.746
And so she is coming on to give us some tools, resources and feedback.

00:47:18.746 --> 00:47:19.527
I cannot wait.

00:47:19.527 --> 00:47:22.284
She actually confirmed it via text.

00:47:22.284 --> 00:47:26.166
She was like hey, I saw it come up on the screen, so exciting.

00:47:26.755 --> 00:47:30.106
Well, thanks, guys, and we will see you next week.