Oct. 10, 2024

Human Design, Empowerment, & Shifting Your Language with Jessica Thiefels

Human Design, Empowerment, & Shifting Your Language with Jessica Thiefels
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Season 4

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Join us as we sit down with Jessica Thiefels, an anti-diet and mental health advocate/marketer where we talk inspiration, and she shares her transformative journey that intertwines personal values with professional life. Discover how she defies societal expectations, embracing authenticity through her marketing expertise and advocacy for body positivity and mental health. Learn the power of human design in personal branding and the liberating force of being unapologetically true to oneself. Jessica's experiences and insights challenge us to build communities rooted in vulnerability and genuine connections.

Explore the joy of fashion as self-expression and the sheer delight of prioritizing comfort over societal pressures. Whether it’s rocking overalls or embracing Abercrombie’s Curve Love jeans, fashion becomes a celebration of individuality. This episode encourages listeners to redefine norms and find value in dressing for oneself. We also delve into the complexities of wellness and food culture, questioning the motivations behind lifestyle choices and advocating for a food-neutral approach in parenting, fostering healthier relationships with eating.

Navigating the multifaceted world of parenting, we examine strategies that balance control, independence, and positive body image. Learn how to empower children through natural consequences and selective guidance, and hear entertaining anecdotes about familial chaos, including glitter spray paint mishaps. As we touch on the therapeutic potential of Internal Family Systems, listeners are invited to explore personal growth through self-compassion and introspection, addressing shame and unresolved emotions for transformative healing.

👉Be sure to give Jessica a follow on Instagram @jessicatheifels and @echeveriaorganic

👖The jeans Jessica mentioned she loves: Abercrombie Curve Love Jeans

👉Others to follow that we discussed @medafounder (Becky Manley) @gabbybernstein

✨Other topics mentioned: To Be Magnetic and Internal Family Systems Therapy.

For more mayhem, be sure to follow us:

Insta @marketingandmayhem
YouTube @MarketingMayhemPod

And don't forget to leave us a 5 star review! Or message us to deep dive into your topic or just give us feedback!

Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

00:15 - Empowering Conversation on Body Image

12:33 - Comfortable and Confident Fashion Choices

24:30 - Unpacking Wellness and Food Culture

30:15 - Parenting and Control Balance

34:13 - Promoting Positive Body Image in Parenting

41:05 - Navigating Food, Body, and Trauma

50:20 - Healing Through Internal Family Systems

56:02 - Exploring Inner Healing Through IFS

WEBVTT

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Good morning.

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Good morning, hello, I love it.

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I love it.

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Listen, I'm going to fangirl.

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We are so excited to have you on.

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We have a guest you guys like a really, really, really special guest today.

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I'm so pumped.

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Jenny and I have been texting about this for like three weeks straight.

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And we've already seen her in her underwear, so that makes it even more fun.

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That's how it goes these days Jessica welcome.

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We have Jessica Thiefels.

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I'm going to let you do your introduction, but you guys are quickly going to realize why we're so excited to have her here, because we've needed her on our podcast for a really long time.

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Yes, okay, so tell us what you do.

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So I'm a multifaceted woman, as both of you are, as all of us are.

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My business, the way that I make money and pay for my life, is marketing.

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So I have Echeveria Organic.

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I've been running my business for six years and just this past January decided to align.

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What you would see if you looked me up on Instagram and you saw Jessica Thiefels on Instagram, it's all body image, disordered eating recovery, eating disorder recovery.

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That's why you see me in my underwear because I'm often doing videos where I'm like this is a normal body, this is okay.

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I decided to align that and all the work that I've done around eating disorder, mental health et cetera, with my marketing.

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So in January I shifted, rebranded essentially to Echeveria Organic and I provide right now mostly social media management, strategy execution and then SEO for organizations in the eating disorder and mental health state space.

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So if you're familiar at all with that space, you might know like project heal, um, I actually do pro bono work for them.

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I have for a long time.

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Uh, christie Harrison, like chain, was like life changing for me when I started my eating disorder recovery journey and is an incredible client of mine now.

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Um, so I work with a lot of really cool people.

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So that's how I make money.

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And then I love sharing because I am, if anyone knows, human design, I am a one three projector.

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So basically that means I.

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What do I say?

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I?

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Um learn, uh, try, fail, teach, basically.

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So, like I see my life as an example for everyone.

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I'm also a triple fire, double Leo, which means that I like to talk.

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I don't mind putting myself out there in class.

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I was the one in school who was like let me go first, let me go first.

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Or like I used to get in trouble actually in grade school because I would like be raising my hand and the teacher wouldn't call me and I'd go.

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I'd be like so pissed, like audibly mad, that they wouldn't let me go.

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So I'm just like I'm the person who I'm, like I volunteer as tribute.

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I'll say the things people don't want to say, I'll be loud, I'll be in my underwear and it's as much for everybody who follows and the people in my community who I know it helps as it is for me.

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Everything I put out there is like a reminder to myself.

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Every day, multiple times a day, I'm continually working through what we all are just body image, diet, culture, all that I resonate so deeply, we resonate so deeply to this Like I don't like.

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The further we go down this rabbit hole of the podcast and even like the social media stuff and the marketing company, the more I'm just like yeah, put me in my underwear.

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Like I'll say the thing like and it's not you know where some people say it to like almost like, almost like a devil's advocate, or just to get like a devil's advocate, or just to get under other people's skin, or they do it in a different way.

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I'm like no, I'm saying it because I feel it, and if I feel it, somebody else feels it.

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So we might as well like just take our handbag, dump it out upside down on the table and unpack what we got here, because there's no way I feel like.

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When I was younger, I felt isolated by some of these things, and now I'm like, if I feel it, I know that I'm not the only woman or girl or whoever daughter, sister, mother who feels it.

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So I feel the need to just like wave the flag and be like sorry, I'm in my underwear, sorry, I'm at the grocery store with camel toe and Jenny's calling me out.

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I can't be the only one.

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I've got a full basket of food and I don't know what to do, panicking, but like, yeah, we do, we just let the flag fly.

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I love it.

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So the human design thing, by the way, is actually very new to us.

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We learned about it from one of our original guests and so we don't know nearly.

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I don't know nearly as much about it.

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I know, we need to dig into that some more.

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I know we really do Fascinating.

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It is so cool, so we tend we started talking about Enneagram more and then this like human design thing has come about, which I think relates a lot more to like how people show up and work too.

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Just in general, it's so interesting.

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Yeah, it's everything about your life and there's specific elements of human design where you can learn.

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It'll even tell you like about branding and help you understand branding and certain elements that are more personal versus professional, but it all blends in.

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I mean, who we are as a person is who we are in every area of our life.

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It's not I'm not like unzip out of this and into something else, so it's all the same.

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But then it can give you like.

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I can't remember any of the things, honestly, because I'm not an expert in it, yeah, but I've learned enough to as I do it.

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I'm like, oh my God, Like to me it's just very validating because it gives words and descriptions and information to things that I've always known about myself in some way.

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Oh, okay, that is who I am.

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It almost like allows me to claim it and own it more.

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I love this validation because I feel like we grew up in and we should talk about this diet, culture and all these other things, but we grew up in corporate America, like I'm 41.

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So when I was going through the ranks, we'd all of our learning was like this is your strength, this is your weakness, how do you fix it up?

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And then you would learn how to downplay your strengths and how to work on your weaknesses.

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It wasn't even like people wanted you to be better at your strengths, so like we've already identified this, but sometimes in rooms you can be overpowering and like it would.

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It would be we would like circumvent these things and now we're like actually no, the new way that we talk about personalities is like this is why I show up the way I show up.

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You know, this isn't it's my core motivation, it's not my weakness.

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We just get to be validated now and I think that's really incredible.

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I think a lot of it too, though, is being raised by baby boomers.

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I really truly do.

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I mean, I think that they grew up in an era where women had to be ladylike, and we were supposed to be very, very demure, and it was just we weren't supposed to cuss and we weren't supposed to fart.

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And we weren't supposed to cuss and we weren't supposed to fart, and we weren't supposed to, like you know, gain weight.

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We were supposed to be these very feminine, do it all.

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Oh, I can bring home the bacon and fry it too.

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Oh, and I have to be a size two and I have to take care of the kids.

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I feel like that's kind of what we were up Right.

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They were like Right, they had to be on cocaine or something.

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I think they were on like all sorts of like different offers and downers.

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Yeah, I mean like.

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So I think, growing up and now I feel like that's why we're so sensitive to is that we're raising kids and we're like I don't want you to be like that.

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I don't want you to even know what a scale is Like.

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I don't want you.

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If you want to be a truck driver, I want you to go be a truck driver.

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Yeah, you know what I mean.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Yeah, it's crazy, but I loved what you have on Instagram, Jessica, giving you permission to be, eat and wear whatever makes you feel good.

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I'm here for that.

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Well, I think something I've learned in doing all this and especially working with organizations in the spaces there are so many pockets of people and how do I explain this?

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Like, even down to language, whether people want to claim fat, like there's a whole reclamation around reclaiming fat and reclaiming yourself as a fat person versus not like.

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And I was just talking to someone on my podcast, chavis Turner, who's like total OG badass in the eating disorder space and she talks about it like there's like small fat, medium fat, large fat.

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It's like this whole thing.

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And so the way I want to approach it when I'm putting stuff out there is like I just want you to choose whatever feels good for you, like if you want to work out five days a week and truly that's coming from an intention of it feels good in your body, not diet culture then do it.

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If you want to wear whatever, do it Like.

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I'm not saying that I'm telling you how to feel good.

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I'm saying I'm going to teach you to be connected to your body a little bit more and I'm going to teach you to decide, or help you decide, what feels good or give you permission to just do it.

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We all know what feels good.

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We just feel like we're nervous to do it, we're scared to wear that thing.

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Forever I wouldn't wear crop tops because I felt like my stomach was like not good enough for a crop top.

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And now, thanks to so many other people who do this work I mean, I follow so many people that I'm constantly empowered by Thanks to them.

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I'm like, if I want to wear a crop top, coming back to if you want that, if that feels good, then I'm going to do it, and if you don't, then don't wear the crop top.

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If that doesn't feel empowering to you, then that's okay too.

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Like I don't know.

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I guess I'm just trying to say there's so many ways and I'm not trying to be like the one way.

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I'm just trying to say what feels good from a truly you place, not from all the other bullshit expectations, whatever place.

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Do that, do more of what makes you feel good and happy.

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That's all that I want for you.

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That seems like such that is.

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I mean, we both have, like you know I don't even know what the correct term is, so I'm not even going to label it but we obviously come from places where food and clothes and a relationship with food just to you know is maybe has absolutely had ebbs and flows of appropriate and inappropriate.

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So we'll just I don't know what the terminology is, but the other day I was talking about how I joined this yoga studio two, two months ago, and like it's hot, like it's actually so hot.

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So I went the first two weeks in like a full workout outfit and I was drowning in my own sweat and everyone else is in a sports bra and leggings.

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And I was drowning in my own sweat and everyone else is in a sports bra and leggings and I'm like I don't think I can do this.

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And then finally I started to do it and I go with a friend who's a little bit older than me.

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I like love my multi-generational friends, so she's in her fifties and so she's like are we really doing this?

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And I was like I think we have to because we're actually going to die.

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First of all, we are going to die, and it's foolish and it's dark and it shouldn't matter, but now I actually go in my leggings and my sports bras and it's one of my favorite places because it feels like one of my safest places, which is like the weirdest, because, no, you have women there who are like literally like the most perfect body, and you and I both know that they go home and they have their things right, whatever it is, whether like it's like the worst smelling armpits, or like toe hair or god knows what do you know what I mean?

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Or like a weird birthmark who knows, we all have something like bad halitosis, I have no idea.

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Maybe like a mean dad, I have no idea.

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Maybe like a mean dad, I have no idea.

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But and then we have, like everybody, like just just the most normal place, and it's like literally the last thing that people think about outside of maybe showing up with a matching set, because like that's exciting to them.

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The minute she closes the door and it becomes 5,000 degrees, nobody cares and we're all just doing the work and it's like it's been, I would say, like life changing in the smallest, like micro space way One.

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I've had a lot of weird things this year, but like that one has really caught my attention.

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I definitely like I can resonate with that.

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For sure I don't.

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I dress because I'm thinking about who else is going to be there, right, Always.

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Always yes, and it's so freeing when you freaking don't?

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Yeah, anyone?

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I just saw a post.

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I'm just going to keep referring to people that I follow.

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I love it.

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And I don't remember any of them.

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So I'm sorry I can't tell you any accounts, but I can share some with you later switch to and link them, or you can link them to us later and we'll add them.

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I'll give them to you to put in the show notes.

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But she was like wearing you know, like I don't know uh big overalls and like her hair is on top of her head and she was like dancing.

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And she was like that feeling when you're you go out in an outfit that you know no guy is going to like and you just don't give a fuck.

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You just feel cute and comfortable.

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Even for me, sometimes, the way I wear my hair, I'm sure my husband doesn't like it.

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I'm like I don't really care.

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Well, that's my husband, so it's a different story.

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But still there's a freedom when I'm getting dressed For me.

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For so long I felt like I was bullying my body into a smaller size by wearing tight clothes, by only buying small tight clothes.

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Yeah, Talk to us about your jeans.

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I want to talk about that too.

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Oh the post that I just did.

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Yeah, for me there's a freedom in wearing clothes that don't necessarily have to show my shape.

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There's a freedom in letting go of that.

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I also still do like wearing clothes that show my shape in a different way, like, but there's a different relationship to it.

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It's not like oh, I have to wear this really tight thing so that my body has to be perfect so that everybody will look at me and see that I'm the best because I have the best body.

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Like, there's so much there, it's too much to get into.

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No, I know, but there's definitely the part where I really prefer to be in a sports bra and Adam Sandler pants.

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You love that look.

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That's one of your best looks, though Okay bye and I love your Gary Busey bun.

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I think it's one of your best looks that you have truly.

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If you knock on my door on any given day, I am in the same exact sports bra that I have in six colors.

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It's not because it's flattering, it's because it's like a barely there one.

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You can never work out in this.

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So sports bra is a loose term.

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Yeah, the biggest ugliest, like bleached sweatpants, like that's like my jam.

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I like I'm in an apartment now so I don't want to make friends and so I'm just like something happened to these the other day on the pool deck and they got like bleached by some chemical and I'm like, wow, I just got even more.

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Very abusive they're even more, lived in.

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Yeah.

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But like that is like.

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And then I do love to like get dressed and go out, but I love it the most when I'm with my girlfriends, because we all we're to the point where we don't even necessarily ask each other what we're going to wear.

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Like I definitely have some friends where we will just show up and it is like not a big deal, where one person is like over the top or one, and I shouldn't even really probably say over the top, but like just the fact that we're in each other's presence matters so much more and we probably are all like digging where the other person is like dang, I should wear my Gary Busey sweatpants, like shoot, I should like dress up.

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That's like it looks so cute or fun and we, my girlfriends, went out for dinner like two weeks ago and I texted him like, oh, can we just wear sweatpants?

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And like all the girls were like we should totally wearing sweatpants.

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Yeah, we did not wear sweatpants and I was not happy.

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But like I sometimes I'm like I hope I'm not like having like a breakdown because I'm in my sweatpants all the time, but I just like it better.

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That's what's comfortable.

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I am.

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I am in my sweatpants.

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If I'm wearing jeans out of the house, which I usually am, I am immediately in sweatpants.

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When I come home, like I walk in the door, I go to the bedroom, I take the pants off, I put the sweatpants on, I'm like no, I'm not the person that hangs out at home with pants.

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No, I love a denim to like leave.

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I did it the other day for a school event, but the minute I walked back and I was like denim to like leave.

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I did it the other day for a school event.

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But the minute I walked back and I was like we are done here, we need to get into it's just a little too restrictive for me.

00:16:49.120 --> 00:16:50.342
Yeah, I just need to be comfortable.

00:16:50.724 --> 00:16:50.965
Yes.

00:16:51.726 --> 00:16:56.023
So that's where the jean video the truly.

00:16:56.023 --> 00:17:03.706
I think one of the most comfortable jeans that I own and I own it now in three styles is the Abercrombie Curve Love.

00:17:03.706 --> 00:17:07.834
And you know, I, almost, I, I re what's the word?

00:17:07.834 --> 00:17:13.484
I resisted buying Abercrombie for so long because I was like, listen, I know that they're on me.

00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:21.931
It did us dirty when we were young, okay, and then if you watch the documentary about it.

00:17:22.681 --> 00:17:24.848
I didn't watch it, but I saw it was there.

00:17:24.848 --> 00:17:32.371
I know some bad, dirty, dirty stuff went down and then they're all in their business and like it did, yes.

00:17:32.632 --> 00:17:33.173
It was bad.

00:17:33.173 --> 00:17:40.753
And now we all know about them because they went on this hot, I'm sure, multimillion dollar influencer campaign so we were seeing them everywhere.

00:17:40.753 --> 00:17:47.402
But I have to say the quality of their clothes is actually really good and their jeans.

00:17:47.402 --> 00:17:48.765
So the curve love.

00:17:48.765 --> 00:17:49.987
That's the.

00:17:49.987 --> 00:17:54.463
That's the style that if you don't have curves, it may not be a good style for you, but for me.

00:17:54.463 --> 00:17:59.000
I've got a booty and hips and, um well, and a waist.

00:17:59.161 --> 00:18:00.825
The waist is the tricky part for me.

00:18:01.645 --> 00:18:03.390
And so it's all of their genes.

00:18:03.390 --> 00:18:07.606
Whether you doesn't matter, it's like I don't know.

00:18:07.606 --> 00:18:09.695
I was thinking about this as I was doing the video.

00:18:09.695 --> 00:18:14.589
It's like there's different types of genes and then you can get curve love in any of those different types.

00:18:14.589 --> 00:18:21.660
So it could be like nineties, it could be mom, high rise, it could be straight leg, it could be boot, whatever.

00:18:21.660 --> 00:18:24.228
But there's always the option to do curve love.

00:18:24.228 --> 00:18:34.297
And so I think the way that those are made, they're just made so like for me anyone listening maybe you know if you have a big booty, often you have like that gap in the back.

00:18:34.297 --> 00:18:35.662
That's like very annoying.

00:18:35.662 --> 00:18:39.574
With these you don't like they're made to hug your curse.

00:18:39.574 --> 00:18:44.086
So that's my recommendation for like the most comfortable jean that I own.

00:18:44.086 --> 00:18:49.471
That I just didn't want to recommend, but I just do 10 out of 10, recommend them.

00:18:50.255 --> 00:18:57.020
So we I had this shopping experience cause somebody else recommended and it wasn't Abercrombie, but somebody recommended loft.

00:18:57.020 --> 00:18:59.326
So loft does a curve also.

00:18:59.326 --> 00:19:06.009
So I'm going to have to try the Abercrombie cause I went in because somebody said I was like why do your jeans look so good?

00:19:06.009 --> 00:19:09.390
Because we both have a waist, because then we have hips.

00:19:09.390 --> 00:19:15.183
So I'm like I don't know how to make my jeans go in reverse, otherwise it's that gap.

00:19:15.183 --> 00:19:16.888
That's just like noxious.

00:19:16.888 --> 00:19:18.011
They do this.

00:19:18.011 --> 00:19:21.022
So like all of them come in the, it's just're curvy.

00:19:21.022 --> 00:19:31.674
But like I love that we're even doing this now, because we just had to make our bodies fit into the jeans when Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears were being tortured.

00:19:31.694 --> 00:19:37.051
Oh, my gosh, the low the hip, like the low rise, you know I'm talking about like, how low they were.

00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:40.169
I used to cut my express jeans to make them lower.

00:19:40.169 --> 00:19:42.286
I'm like I'm going to need a wax for this.

00:19:43.730 --> 00:19:46.248
Yeah, no, thank you, I'd rather never.

00:19:46.248 --> 00:19:47.260
Well, it's sort of.

00:19:47.260 --> 00:19:48.644
Actually it is.

00:19:48.644 --> 00:20:01.088
There's this Gen Z girl that does checkout at the grocery store that I go to, and I don't know about you guys, but I'm at the grocery store way too often and I only have one child and somehow I'm there all the time.

00:20:01.599 --> 00:20:03.304
If you have one child, then she goes to two grocery stores a day sometimes.

00:20:03.325 --> 00:20:06.352
Yeah, somehow I'm there all the time, If you're with one child then she goes to two grocery stores a day sometimes it's okay.

00:20:06.372 --> 00:20:09.098
It's not based on how many people live in your house, it's a habit.

00:20:10.240 --> 00:20:11.442
It's a habit.

00:20:11.442 --> 00:20:17.509
But there's this Gen Z girl and she like 100% no shade to her.

00:20:17.509 --> 00:20:24.634
Like this is what she feels good in, right, but I'm like heavens to bets that's what I say when I'm like I can't handle something.

00:20:24.634 --> 00:20:25.861
She's like in super low rise jeans.

00:20:25.861 --> 00:20:30.570
She's got a little crop top on, that's spaghetti strap down low, like this.

00:20:30.570 --> 00:20:33.442
Yeah, she has a chest.

00:20:33.442 --> 00:20:38.115
Let's just say that like and so her stomach's out and she's my cash.

00:20:38.115 --> 00:20:40.761
She's cashing me out at the grocery store.

00:20:40.761 --> 00:20:48.434
I'm like, I'm like fully supportive of like whatever feels good for you, but like, do we have like a uniform at the grocery store?

00:20:48.434 --> 00:20:55.071
Like, at what point do we say you can't have like tiny, tiny spaghetti straps in a little tiny crop top, like in a professional setting?

00:20:55.821 --> 00:21:02.180
I feel that way about like like they don't have anyone right now, like my daughter goes to school.

00:21:02.180 --> 00:21:04.969
That's k through 12, so I see high schoolers.

00:21:04.969 --> 00:21:07.886
So I'm like where are your britches?

00:21:07.886 --> 00:21:19.833
Like you cannot see the britches, it's literally just t-shirt or sweatshirt and an ash cheek hanging out the bottom and I'm like what do you what?

00:21:20.453 --> 00:21:22.202
we have that.

00:21:22.202 --> 00:21:23.226
We're old guys.

00:21:23.226 --> 00:21:24.347
This is not what it is.

00:21:24.508 --> 00:21:28.463
We had to have the torch that like came down your like middle finger.

00:21:28.463 --> 00:21:29.807
Do y'all remember this?

00:21:30.669 --> 00:21:31.451
I didn't have to.

00:21:31.451 --> 00:21:32.313
I went to a.

00:21:32.313 --> 00:21:35.788
I didn't go to private school I didn't either.

00:21:35.807 --> 00:21:47.732
I went to freaking public high school but like you were in the south, I was in the north all the time because I was violating the dress code no, I, I think your dress code in the south might have been like a little bit more serious.

00:21:47.732 --> 00:21:52.349
Luckily we had like a pervy vice principal and he was just like go back to class, you're fine.

00:21:52.349 --> 00:21:53.593
Oh my God.

00:21:54.339 --> 00:22:01.941
And you're like, not even dressed inappropriately though, like at least to today's day, oh no, I definitely was, but I love the fact that everyone knew that the VP was like a perv.

00:22:02.741 --> 00:22:04.162
Oh, my God Okay.

00:22:04.823 --> 00:22:19.229
So let's talk about this eating disorder, disordered eating space, and I understand that's literally the most global net, but that is a big part of the community that you serve, right?

00:22:19.229 --> 00:22:20.229
For lack of a better word.

00:22:20.648 --> 00:22:23.369
Yeah, I'd say more disordered eating.

00:22:23.369 --> 00:22:38.777
And this is a conversation I have with a lot of clients, because a lot of people don't identify with having an eating disorder and, like I say, I'm in eating disorder recovery, but like I would have never there's just so many problems in the eating disorder space as well.

00:22:38.777 --> 00:22:43.278
I would have never gotten a diagnosis Like no one would have ever said you have an eating disorder.

00:22:43.278 --> 00:22:46.656
Yeah, a diagnosis Like no one would have ever said you have an eating disorder.

00:22:46.656 --> 00:23:01.585
But I don't have a statistic on this, but I would say the vast majority 80, 90% of people, at least in our country, in our modern country, would be considered having a disordered eating issue Because of what we were raised with.

00:23:01.585 --> 00:23:15.684
You can't avoid it, you're consumed by it and so, um it just it's fascinating to me Very very profitable the, the diet industry, which we don't.

00:23:15.986 --> 00:23:16.387
I would say.

00:23:16.387 --> 00:23:33.332
Diet sounds weird to us now, cause we're like, we don't do weight watchers, but like, think of people who do intermittent fasting I did that for a long time Um, people who are very rigid with I did that for a long time People who are very rigid with their exercise schedule there's a thing called exercise bulimia, which this was, for sure, me for a long time.

00:23:33.332 --> 00:23:39.396
If you don't work out, you're beating yourself up all day, you're criticizing yourself, you're eating less food, you're changing your habits.

00:23:39.396 --> 00:23:56.983
Disordered eating behaviors and disordered relationship with your body is the vast majority of people, especially women, I would guess, based on seeing the world and seeing people.

00:23:56.983 --> 00:24:00.768
But yeah, it's hard because it's everywhere and it's also hard because it's normalized.

00:24:00.768 --> 00:24:08.815
So, especially in the world of GLP-1s, and it's a money-making machine.

00:24:08.815 --> 00:24:20.207
I was in Boston, massachusetts, and there was a commercial for WeGoV, which is a GLP-1.

00:24:20.207 --> 00:24:23.098
It's the Ozempic, made specifically for weight loss, not for diabetes, and I'm like what in the world?

00:24:23.098 --> 00:24:24.682
I mean, I don't have cable so I don't see commercials.

00:24:24.682 --> 00:24:26.665
I was at at a bar that was like on the TV.

00:24:26.665 --> 00:24:30.834
So it makes money, even all of these companies.

00:24:30.980 --> 00:24:31.741
Wellness culture.

00:24:31.741 --> 00:24:49.815
Christy Harrison talks a lot about wellness culture, which is essentially become diet culture, and it's this world where, like, basically it's it's more you are morally better If you go to the gym in the morning, you have your green juice, you eat your salad, you take care of your body, you take care of your temple.

00:24:49.815 --> 00:24:51.823
This is the only body you'll ever have.

00:24:51.823 --> 00:25:08.554
There's nothing wrong with taking care of your body, but when you're doing it because someone else is telling you to do it, or you're doing it to fit a certain standard or to change the way your body looks which is the majority of why people are choosing this then that's when we say that it's disordered and it's more based in diet culture.

00:25:09.074 --> 00:25:15.583
For me, all of this comes down to your intention.

00:25:15.583 --> 00:25:16.326
Why are you choosing that food item?

00:25:16.326 --> 00:25:17.391
Why are you choosing to move your body?

00:25:17.391 --> 00:25:18.474
Why are you choosing to put those clothes on?

00:25:18.474 --> 00:25:26.609
If it's because it truly genuinely untethered from diet culture, from body image, from body size and shape, just because it makes you happy, great.

00:25:26.609 --> 00:25:29.674
But most of the time that is not the case.

00:25:29.674 --> 00:25:34.055
People are not going to get a green juice just because it tastes good.

00:25:34.415 --> 00:25:38.971
You're getting it because they think they should, and then you feel that moral superiority when you do.

00:25:38.971 --> 00:25:42.689
And then you take the picture because we're all trained to participate.

00:25:42.689 --> 00:25:45.342
Yes, this weird training to participate in, so we never get the picture.

00:25:45.342 --> 00:25:45.692
For're all trained to participate.

00:25:45.692 --> 00:25:47.826
Yes, it's weird training to participate in, so we never get the picture.

00:25:47.826 --> 00:25:59.592
Or for sure you're not taking a picture of your crazy food like you, we always do, and you say cheat day oh yeah, my girlfriends.

00:25:59.913 --> 00:26:05.861
So cheat day triggers me so, so I have like a couple things that, like cheat day triggers me so, so, so I have like a couple of things that, like cheat day triggers me so bad.

00:26:05.861 --> 00:26:10.569
And then here's my other thing that makes me I will starve.

00:26:10.569 --> 00:26:14.242
I will starve before I eat a protein bar.

00:26:14.242 --> 00:26:17.449
I don't know what happened to me and I love them.

00:26:17.449 --> 00:26:19.593
No, I won't do it.

00:26:19.753 --> 00:26:54.256
I like and this isn't like a dig to you at all but I paid my dues in college when I was certainly in a more unhealthy state and I lived that life and I literally, when I hear the crinkle of the wrapper or when I get I'm not even talking about you when I say this story, just so you know I have a lot of friends who all get in their car and they have a handbag with three or four and they're like chocolate bars basically, and I'm just like there's, I will start, I will get a gas station banana and an apple, but like there's no way, like I would rather drink a SoCo and Lime Shot.

00:26:54.256 --> 00:26:56.442
I would have a better chance of not heaving.

00:26:56.801 --> 00:26:58.044
I mean I would drink that too.

00:26:58.044 --> 00:26:59.465
You know what I mean.

00:26:59.465 --> 00:27:05.819
But like then eating a protein bar, and I think it's because I like literally made my entire cause.

00:27:05.819 --> 00:27:07.364
It was so easy to do the math.

00:27:07.364 --> 00:27:15.090
My entire life was built around those like the half and it had to be the 12 ounces of water, and I was like so rigid.

00:27:15.090 --> 00:27:39.884
And now I'm like I know for sure that if I even touch that hot stove and I'm inviting something and now I don't, I'm not a person who actually even really has sugar cravings, not because I've done perfect work, but I'm absolutely, in my adult life, very aware of some of the meaner things that I did to myself, and so I'm just like can't do it, can't, I just can't do it.

00:27:39.884 --> 00:27:40.566
It's going to.

00:27:40.566 --> 00:27:42.471
It's not a place where I should invite.

00:27:42.471 --> 00:27:44.342
I shouldn't invite myself back in that space.

00:27:45.442 --> 00:27:46.064
Something about it.

00:27:46.064 --> 00:27:48.105
You have a son, right, jessica?

00:27:48.105 --> 00:27:56.855
Yes, so how do you I hate the word not enforce but how do you practice food culture in your house?

00:27:56.855 --> 00:27:57.375
What do you?

00:27:58.421 --> 00:28:03.307
He eats ice cream at 7.30 in the morning if he wants it, he has a piece of chocolate.

00:28:03.307 --> 00:28:05.627
Well, he hasn't really been interested in chocolate much lately.

00:28:05.627 --> 00:28:08.804
But let me say something that feels so, so important.

00:28:08.804 --> 00:28:12.664
And I'm sure as he gets older things will shift and we'll figure it out as we go.

00:28:12.664 --> 00:28:19.357
But restriction and prohibition only leads to indulgence, right, only.

00:28:19.357 --> 00:28:26.365
And I don't mean indulgence in a bad way, I just mean like binging on it or having those cravings because your biology, you're telling your body you can't have that.

00:28:26.365 --> 00:28:29.627
So now your body's like oh, but no, I really want that, so I'll give him.

00:28:29.708 --> 00:28:36.650
He'll want a cookie, like we buy these simple meals like they're little cookies, like this, they're like take like tastes like fricking chips, why they're so good.

00:28:36.650 --> 00:28:47.480
He'll want one with dinner and I'm like sure you can have it with dinner, because I don't want to make him wait until after dinner to have a dessert, because then it's like oh, that's a special thing we wanted to just be a normal part of life.

00:28:47.480 --> 00:28:49.630
Sometimes he won't even touch the cookie.

00:28:49.630 --> 00:28:54.006
Or he was eating a piece of cake at a birthday party, um, this past weekend.

00:28:54.006 --> 00:28:54.686
He had three bites.

00:28:54.686 --> 00:28:55.809
He was like all done Bye.

00:28:55.809 --> 00:28:59.980
So like he knows he can have it whenever he wants.

00:28:59.980 --> 00:29:01.605
Therefore, it's not an issue.

00:29:01.605 --> 00:29:05.292
Like also, who says you can't have ice cream at 7am?

00:29:05.292 --> 00:29:06.121
Who says that?

00:29:06.121 --> 00:29:06.884
Yeah, what?

00:29:06.884 --> 00:29:07.926
What is that?

00:29:07.987 --> 00:29:08.868
I'm not here for it.

00:29:08.868 --> 00:29:10.133
I agree wholeheartedly.

00:29:10.133 --> 00:29:11.281
Beck and I are the same way.

00:29:11.281 --> 00:29:11.983
We're just like.

00:29:12.545 --> 00:29:17.605
I learned about this idea of having like a food neutral house when my list was like around two.

00:29:17.605 --> 00:29:38.874
So I became like extremely devoted, to the point of driving other people around me crazy because, like my parents or my parents would be like, and that they my brothers live close to my parents and so that every like dessert is a big conversation and like there are some major food control games that go on and that are more traditional.

00:29:38.874 --> 00:29:43.643
So I'm like mom, could you just say what you're offering?

00:29:43.643 --> 00:29:46.128
We don't have to give it a special name like dessert.

00:29:46.128 --> 00:29:53.119
Let's just say there's ice cream and then also my kids don't have to finish a certain amount of anything.

00:29:53.119 --> 00:29:57.875
So if that's the rule for the other kids, it's still not my problem, right?

00:29:57.875 --> 00:30:15.125
Not my problem because my kids will literally say and I also learned this idea of like um, if they even mention it, like if my kids are like, oh, you know, it'd be so good, like I want to try the Starbucks pink drink, instead of being like, okay, well, you have to do all these things and we're going to earn our food and play this whole game.

00:30:15.605 --> 00:30:20.119
I'll usually try to find the quickest, fastest way to get one Nine.

00:30:20.119 --> 00:30:20.541
Play this whole game.

00:30:20.541 --> 00:30:21.868
I'll usually try to find the quickest, fastest way to get one.

00:30:21.868 --> 00:30:27.188
Nine times out of ten they'll take two sips and be like oh, that's not as much fun as I thought it was Right, because we didn't make this like A big deal.

00:30:27.188 --> 00:30:28.090
Yeah.

00:30:28.090 --> 00:30:35.930
And sometimes I'll accidentally get a space like, oh, you know what we should do, because we have like the hardest day, we should go and I'll think about like something that would be normally like a food reward.

00:30:35.930 --> 00:30:37.392
I'm like why did?

00:30:37.451 --> 00:30:47.020
I do that Like I know better, but I certainly like try really.

00:30:47.020 --> 00:30:49.005
First of all, ice cream for breakfast is the same as tricks for breakfast, literally.

00:30:49.005 --> 00:30:51.691
Let's be really honest, it's sugar and milk.

00:30:51.691 --> 00:30:53.493
Let's not get carried away.

00:30:53.493 --> 00:30:57.451
Spaghetti same thing as pizza, all the same.

00:30:57.932 --> 00:30:58.814
We do some, some worse.

00:30:58.814 --> 00:31:07.501
I don't know what you can compare that to, but yeah, she loves some words for breakfast somewhere, yeah, and like but by the time you're like playing games about control.

00:31:07.942 --> 00:31:10.748
first of all, I don't want that in my parenting relationship.

00:31:10.748 --> 00:31:21.483
I really try to like save the control issues for like things that really matter, like absolutely Like why say no, just to say no, Like.

00:31:21.644 --> 00:31:26.351
If it's like I want to paint and play with water, I'm like who cares?

00:31:26.881 --> 00:31:29.968
Like who cares, Like your best life except glitter.

00:31:30.128 --> 00:31:31.853
You know, I don't love glitter, I love glitter.

00:31:32.180 --> 00:31:34.067
So I'm like one of those houses where you can like.

00:31:34.067 --> 00:31:36.832
I set my smoke alarm off the other day using too much glitter.

00:31:37.352 --> 00:31:38.794
Oh, come on, I used some glitter spray paint.

00:31:39.315 --> 00:31:39.734
Oh, my cow.

00:31:41.583 --> 00:31:43.769
But I still didn't know that your fire alarm would go off.

00:31:43.961 --> 00:31:45.059
No, I did not know that either.

00:31:45.642 --> 00:31:47.067
Nate calls it holiday herpes.

00:31:49.702 --> 00:32:02.067
I hate Halloween, but I'm trying to be more Halloween-y this year, so I glittered a skeleton in the bathtub like in the box he came in, but it definitely set off all the fire alarms because it's too much spray paint.

00:32:02.067 --> 00:32:04.957
It sounds about right yeah, the dr becky.

00:32:05.357 --> 00:32:19.689
What you're saying about control is like what I learned from dr becky, who I also love another social media account I follow when I'm a part of her membership is like decide where you can just completely release control and and then focus on where it really needs to be.

00:32:19.689 --> 00:32:23.181
So my kiddo's name is Weston.

00:32:23.181 --> 00:32:28.212
He'll be three in like a week and a half and he'll want to go outside and it's cold.

00:32:28.212 --> 00:32:30.105
And my husband's like Weston, you have to put a jacket on.

00:32:30.105 --> 00:32:33.342
And I was like, and I remind him, I'm like let's, let him see.

00:32:33.342 --> 00:32:43.483
Also side note, my mom's been in childcare for 25 years, so my mom knows all and she's got really good reminders and she's like natural consequences, let him see that it's cold outside.

00:32:43.483 --> 00:32:44.969
And then he will ask for a jacket.

00:32:44.969 --> 00:32:45.570
And he did.

00:32:45.570 --> 00:32:46.221
He came in.

00:32:46.221 --> 00:32:47.386
He's like it's cold.

00:32:47.386 --> 00:32:49.567
I'm like, yeah, let's put a jacket on.

00:32:50.804 --> 00:32:53.211
I love natural consequences, I love that.

00:32:53.579 --> 00:32:54.664
My mom says that all the time.

00:33:05.059 --> 00:33:07.650
And I do feel like there are in most cases there is a natural consequence that they will learn and then you know, do the thing.

00:33:07.650 --> 00:33:08.152
Yeah, and like, cold isn't?

00:33:08.152 --> 00:33:08.994
We're not talking about being unsafe, like.

00:33:08.994 --> 00:33:15.211
I really try to keep like my raised voice or my unsafe stuff for, like, if it's really unsafe, like are we in a parking lot, are you making a bad decision by the stove?

00:33:15.211 --> 00:33:19.849
Like, and not just be the loud, controlling parent.

00:33:19.891 --> 00:33:44.066
Because the other thing that I noticed from my friends that are more controlling don't get me wrong, I am not the epitome of health, but they are it burns them out because their kids have this lack of independence, because they're so used to having to ask for everything or wait for somebody to lead them that they're literally so agitated.

00:33:44.066 --> 00:33:46.491
But cause they're like can I this, can I that?

00:33:46.491 --> 00:33:52.791
I'm like this kid shut up, like whatever it is that you need to do, do it Stop.

00:33:52.791 --> 00:33:54.201
We're trying to have adult time.

00:33:54.201 --> 00:33:55.443
Why do you need us right now?

00:33:55.443 --> 00:34:04.769
Yes, then you give them an inch and a mile and then they're out there like I'm like, oh, I see why, but it's because they never you.

00:34:04.769 --> 00:34:06.532
The leash is too short.

00:34:06.532 --> 00:34:07.983
So the minute you give them the long leash.

00:34:07.983 --> 00:34:08.666
It's like a dog.

00:34:08.666 --> 00:34:13.204
They just run out the door down to God knows where you know.

00:34:13.204 --> 00:34:16.530
Like they don't have any sensibility about some of this stuff because of it.

00:34:17.713 --> 00:34:24.847
Yeah, I feel like I walk such a fine line with conversations like this because I completely agree.

00:34:24.847 --> 00:34:28.264
But I'm like I mean, if that's how you want to parent, that's your problem.

00:34:28.264 --> 00:34:38.164
My child is so chill and independent and does his own thing and he's happy to do it and I love that because I can sit and relax and have my drink and talk with people while he goes and plays.

00:34:38.164 --> 00:34:44.527
And it's like if you want to go sit with your kid and not be a part of the conversation, then I guess cool.

00:34:44.527 --> 00:34:46.827
Like that's just so very fun to me.

00:34:47.019 --> 00:34:59.432
But if that's what you want to do, you know like I feel like there's so much and I'm not saying you were doing this at all, this just reminds me of things that I've read about and experienced that there's just so much judgment in the parenting space too, like in diet culture.

00:34:59.432 --> 00:35:10.847
It's become very diet culture to like do the right thing and say the perfect thing and like I'm that way with sleep training and I have to really like be conscious about it because I like very I believe in that.

00:35:10.847 --> 00:35:13.193
I need that for my mental health.

00:35:13.193 --> 00:35:14.222
I needed my child to sleep.

00:35:14.222 --> 00:35:14.862
We did it.

00:35:14.862 --> 00:35:15.724
It was easy, whatever.

00:35:15.724 --> 00:35:17.369
But so many parents aren aren't.

00:35:17.369 --> 00:35:22.608
And then I see them and like long term they're miserable because their kids aren't sleeping in it.

00:35:23.291 --> 00:35:30.009
But I'm like yep, keep okay no I definitely have a, very much I have a friend too.

00:35:30.030 --> 00:35:33.507
That's always like you do, you, and it's like a good reminder.

00:35:33.507 --> 00:35:44.391
But I just, you know you can't help but observe the natural consequences of, yeah, you're just like, or even like, things that you would rather do better.

00:35:44.391 --> 00:35:51.032
You know, we had a guest on the other day who's just like you know, like the most graceful mom.

00:35:51.032 --> 00:35:56.291
I have no idea it's like amazing, but she was talking about one of her biggest regrets and actually came down to food.

00:35:56.291 --> 00:35:59.869
It was a food conversation, but it was.

00:35:59.869 --> 00:36:09.188
It was great to hear her, because I've always, like, have admired her so much, but then to hear her go backwards in that space and be like, oh, if I could change one thing.

00:36:09.188 --> 00:36:13.425
Right, we all have that in our parenting lives, especially about food and sleep.

00:36:15.469 --> 00:36:18.021
I feel like that's just like, that's everything Right.

00:36:18.021 --> 00:36:19.965
I mean like I feel like parenting.

00:36:19.965 --> 00:36:25.815
I feel like parenting a two-, three-year-old is so different than parenting my daughter's about to be 10.

00:36:25.815 --> 00:36:30.130
It's just like, oh my gosh, I still have no idea what I'm doing.

00:36:31.001 --> 00:36:42.231
Every year you level up you get a new Girl Scout badge and that's why we go after guests like you to be like okay, help me figure this out, because it's hard.

00:36:42.231 --> 00:36:53.454
It's hard being a parent, it's hard being a mom and girls, I think, back in the day, we're so sensitive to the food thing, the diet thing.

00:36:53.454 --> 00:36:57.110
Even my grandmother, to this day how old is she?

00:36:57.110 --> 00:36:58.985
Mid-80s.

00:36:58.985 --> 00:37:05.268
I went home, probably I don't know two trips ago and she opened the door and she said just look how skinny I am.

00:37:05.268 --> 00:37:07.527
I'm like what are you trying to do?

00:37:07.527 --> 00:37:11.911
Like, are you like entering a bikini contest?

00:37:11.911 --> 00:37:13.184
Like what's going on here?

00:37:13.184 --> 00:37:14.306
Like what does it matter?

00:37:14.306 --> 00:37:15.590
It is.

00:37:19.320 --> 00:37:20.402
How much do you hear your parents be like?

00:37:20.402 --> 00:37:21.844
I'm never eating again after this and I'm like mom girls are here.

00:37:21.864 --> 00:37:23.869
Uh, we don't use the f word in my house.

00:37:24.090 --> 00:37:26.400
We don't say fat, it's, it's things like we're.

00:37:26.400 --> 00:37:27.864
Oh, I'm never eating again after this.

00:37:27.864 --> 00:37:31.561
I'm like it's so ingrained, I fussed it anybody who comes over here.

00:37:31.581 --> 00:37:44.733
I'm like please just don't have make those comments in my house, like it, just it gets me worked up and reminder I say this to you because I think about this a lot with Weston like reminder to, to remind our kids.

00:37:44.733 --> 00:37:49.246
If the word fat is used like we remind them it's not a bad word, it's a description.

00:37:49.246 --> 00:37:50.570
It's a description.

00:37:50.570 --> 00:37:53.231
People make it mean something, but it doesn't mean that.

00:37:53.231 --> 00:37:54.981
It doesn't mean that for you, it doesn't mean that for them.

00:37:54.981 --> 00:38:01.452
Like, if someone you know, if your kid points to someone your kid's probably older than they, they wouldn't do this now at this age.

00:38:01.452 --> 00:38:03.666
Like, oh, why is that person fat or something?

00:38:03.666 --> 00:38:06.076
Well, their body's just a little bigger.

00:38:06.076 --> 00:38:11.014
We have all different size bodies, you know, like, and obviously there's a lot of nuance to it.

00:38:11.014 --> 00:38:20.833
But I I really liked that reminder of like we can take the intensity away from things by just normalizing them.

00:38:20.873 --> 00:38:25.925
Oh, I like that you know it's back to that neutral idea, right, it's not just about food.

00:38:25.925 --> 00:38:29.614
It's like, how do you neutralize the language?

00:38:29.614 --> 00:38:30.900
Yeah, exactly.

00:38:30.900 --> 00:38:33.105
So then how do you like?

00:38:33.105 --> 00:38:49.014
You know, I feel like this is so interesting to me, but as girls we're all raised to to be like you hear a lot of words like pretty or these very like, um, pedestal style, kind of like compliments, and so you know.

00:38:49.014 --> 00:39:09.811
Then now we have girls and so of course you like want to compliment them, but, like I tend to air more on the side of like oh my gosh, you're, you should your back it looks amazing, because I have gymnasts and so, like they, my kids are, we're just very muscly people in general and so, like they're, they get muscle fast and it is actually really beautiful.

00:39:09.811 --> 00:39:11.663
But then I'm like, is that the right thing?

00:39:11.663 --> 00:39:16.851
I don't know if that's the right thing, cause like now they are like they're in my mirror, like flexing, and it is the cutest thing.

00:39:16.851 --> 00:39:21.894
That cause I want them to be proud of their work and I want them to like take care of it too.

00:39:21.914 --> 00:39:26.277
We talk a lot about like okay, like protein or whatever.

00:39:26.277 --> 00:39:35.309
Like I, if they, if I ever have to talk through my meal like, I'm happy to talk about, like why I made the choices that I made, or how I'm feeling and why I made the choices that I made.

00:39:35.309 --> 00:39:38.434
Or they'll talk about how they're feeling, like oh, my stomach hurts.

00:39:38.434 --> 00:39:39.775
I'm like, well, what do you have for lunch?

00:39:39.775 --> 00:39:44.347
And they might say I'm like, ooh, that's probably going to be a little bit hard to work out on, but we'll figure it out.

00:39:44.347 --> 00:39:45.639
Like, maybe we'll do this for dinner.

00:39:45.639 --> 00:39:46.400
Would that feel better?

00:39:46.400 --> 00:39:52.088
Or, like we try to think of it more like medicine, but I'm still not even sure that that's right.

00:39:52.088 --> 00:39:54.951
Like how do you build them up?

00:39:54.951 --> 00:40:01.844
And like place them in this really secure space, but make sure that you're not burdening them.

00:40:01.844 --> 00:40:04.369
Yeah, almost Right, is that?

00:40:04.369 --> 00:40:04.630
Like?

00:40:04.889 --> 00:40:11.648
I don't know if that's like the right term, but I am, lord knows, I am not an expert in this.

00:40:11.648 --> 00:40:12.811
You don't have to be.

00:40:13.112 --> 00:40:14.313
This is, this is man.

00:40:14.313 --> 00:40:16.184
You don't have to be an expert.

00:40:16.567 --> 00:40:30.264
The one thing that comes to mind for me when you're talking about your girls with gymnastics is I would think that the focus, unless it was to be brought up, wouldn't have to be on the body at all.

00:40:30.264 --> 00:40:38.190
Unless they say to you I'm really self-conscious, I feel like I have a lot of muscle, then have that conversation, otherwise it's like you're crushing it out there.

00:40:38.190 --> 00:40:44.630
Your jumps were amazing, like like focusing on function versus how something looks.

00:40:44.630 --> 00:40:50.972
You know, your, our body is not an ornament, our body is an instrument, and so I did not come up with that.

00:40:50.972 --> 00:40:52.360
By the way, someone wrote that.

00:40:52.360 --> 00:41:05.164
But I think starting always, always focusing more on, yeah, function, their value in the world, et cetera, and not body.

00:41:05.244 --> 00:41:30.530
And when it comes to food and protein, I was actually just watching an Instagram video where a woman was explaining this to her kid and I was thinking, like I think what I would want Weston to know is that there's space for all of it, and to maybe understand, like, yes, protein can help with building muscle, but foods that are basic, you know, are carbohydrates are your brain literally runs on carbohydrates?

00:41:30.530 --> 00:41:35.530
Like it is no less important than protein, and fiber helps you poop and helps your body.

00:41:35.530 --> 00:41:36.092
So that's really.

00:41:36.092 --> 00:41:38.023
All of this is important.

00:41:38.023 --> 00:41:46.286
Not one is more important than the other, and diet culture and wellness culture especially, really makes us believe that protein is the most important, and it is.

00:41:46.286 --> 00:41:49.112
It's very important, but it's all important.

00:41:49.260 --> 00:41:54.010
Sugar is also important, because food and eating is not just about fuel.

00:41:54.010 --> 00:42:06.721
It's not just fuel for your body, it's joy, it's comfort, it's happiness, it's shared experiences, it's taking your mind off life for a little bit and just enjoying something that tastes really good.

00:42:06.721 --> 00:42:16.980
And so I think for me, that's the way that I want to approach it, and if we get into start getting into a conversation about sports and stuff, maybe there can be some education around.

00:42:16.980 --> 00:42:23.911
Like, yeah, protein grows muscle and that's really important, but that doesn't mean these, it's more important than these things.

00:42:23.911 --> 00:42:25.443
Like you can have all of it.

00:42:25.443 --> 00:42:30.193
I just want to take like the balanced approach, I guess.

00:42:30.980 --> 00:42:39.469
Well, I love that you're even saying that you're like allowed to take comfort in food, Cause I feel like that is like.

00:42:39.469 --> 00:42:42.963
That is like the upper echelon of being comfortable with food.

00:42:42.963 --> 00:42:49.023
It's like actually going back to a part where you're allowed to use it for comfort.

00:42:49.905 --> 00:42:50.485
Because it is.

00:42:50.485 --> 00:42:57.650
Think about like you have literally probably said oh this is such a comfort meal for me Because your mom made it when you were growing up.

00:42:57.650 --> 00:43:00.306
It makes you feel good, that's okay.

00:43:00.306 --> 00:43:02.471
It's okay to eat if you're feeling emotional.

00:43:02.471 --> 00:43:04.304
It's okay to eat to make you feel comfortable.

00:43:04.304 --> 00:43:09.543
It's when that becomes a coping mechanism that we want to address what's happening underneath.

00:43:09.543 --> 00:43:11.487
So it's like you can have that.

00:43:11.487 --> 00:43:18.411
But if you're doing that to soothe pain, trauma, hurt, let's work on those things so that you don't have those things.

00:43:18.411 --> 00:43:24.871
So it's not a crutch, it's not a coping mechanism, it's just something you get to enjoy, sometimes in different ways.

00:43:27.764 --> 00:43:29.688
Yeah, I cannot even so do you.

00:43:29.688 --> 00:43:37.672
When you get a client, do they just stay with you for life, like I'm like how do you ever get through the entire part of the entirety of the journey?

00:43:37.672 --> 00:43:38.882
You know what I mean.

00:43:40.023 --> 00:43:42.570
Of like educating people through our social media posts.

00:43:43.072 --> 00:43:58.510
No Of like, even like when you know you talk about like having people who are because you have the marketing, but then you like aid in these like recovery or like disordered eating recovery spaces.

00:43:58.510 --> 00:44:02.224
I mean that's not like a small, it's a commitment.

00:44:02.224 --> 00:44:10.947
Yeah, yeah, I mean like I think about some of the other, like, let's say, traumas for lack of a better word, cause I don't feel like everyone uses the word trauma right now.

00:44:10.947 --> 00:44:17.699
It's like Very popular, yeah, that ADHD, all these things are just everywhere every five seconds.

00:44:17.699 --> 00:44:24.561
But let's just say for lack I don't have a better term right now but that is one of the traumas that's going to take like a little bit longer.

00:44:24.561 --> 00:44:35.914
You know, like if I think about my divorce, I still would say that my disordered eating is a larger trauma to some degree than that.

00:44:35.914 --> 00:44:40.920
Even that 14 years of marriage that I've you, that I recently had.

00:44:40.940 --> 00:44:43.567
Well, here's the thing your disordered eating is not the trauma.

00:44:43.567 --> 00:44:46.750
Your disordered eating is the coping mechanism for trauma that came before that.

00:44:46.750 --> 00:44:51.128
So look to your childhood, look to what happened when you were growing up.

00:44:51.128 --> 00:45:00.501
Ages 1 to 7 is when we develop the most significant and impactful beliefs, ways that our brain functions, things that we need to survive in this world.

00:45:00.501 --> 00:45:02.125
That's when we learn those things the most.

00:45:02.125 --> 00:45:09.909
So eating disorder, disordered eating, recovery therapy really is not about food.

00:45:09.909 --> 00:45:11.333
It's not about your relationship with your body.

00:45:11.333 --> 00:45:13.302
It's about why you're choosing those things.

00:45:13.302 --> 00:45:14.945
Why do you need to be perfect?

00:45:14.945 --> 00:45:16.507
Why do you need to avoid shame?

00:45:16.507 --> 00:45:21.034
Why do you need to look a certain way to the worst?

00:45:23.702 --> 00:45:47.860
Yeah Well, it's such a hard habit to break and we've talked about perfectionism on here a lot and I mean I'm definitely like an all or nothing kind of gal, like I feel like I'm either like gangbusters oh, I'm eating healthy, I'm at the gym seven days a week or I'm got my face in the jug of cheese balls and just really enjoying life.

00:45:48.161 --> 00:46:03.574
So, I think it's just, but I find myself like it's easy to slip one way or the other, so it takes so much more, just like just persistence and just really I have to be very mindful of it because I could go either way.

00:46:03.574 --> 00:46:04.775
I've noticed that.

00:46:05.800 --> 00:46:08.545
I would even say less so you need to be mindful about.

00:46:08.545 --> 00:46:20.474
Mindful about it and more so, like to be totally honest, I think like there's space for digging into why, like there's a reason why you're either you're at one extreme or the other.

00:46:20.474 --> 00:46:26.452
There's something for all of us, for every human on the planet there's no way to grow up without trauma.

00:46:26.452 --> 00:46:27.442
It's just not possible.

00:46:27.442 --> 00:46:29.367
No one grows up without trauma.

00:46:29.367 --> 00:46:36.541
There's something that's pushing you one way or the other, and the reason you have to be mindful about it is because you haven't dealt with the thing that's underneath.

00:46:36.541 --> 00:46:40.853
And so you're like, oh, if I can just be really aware, then I can handle it.

00:46:40.853 --> 00:46:46.092
But think of how much mental energy it takes to do that versus dealing with the thing that's under the surface.

00:46:46.092 --> 00:46:57.659
And I say that like truly compassionately, because I've done so much therapy Right now I do internal family systems, ifs Could not recommend it more.

00:46:57.659 --> 00:46:59.748
It's the most impactful therapy I've ever done.

00:47:00.239 --> 00:47:09.471
But, like, there's so much awareness that comes to when you're doing this work that you see all these things that you're doing and now it's like it's not ruling you.

00:47:09.471 --> 00:47:14.469
Like when you tell me that that's ruling you, that back and forth, you are being ruled by that.

00:47:14.469 --> 00:47:15.599
You are not in charge of that.

00:47:15.599 --> 00:47:19.688
So by understanding it and getting under the surface, you can really.

00:47:19.688 --> 00:47:24.215
It's like I'm a very visual person in my head.

00:47:24.215 --> 00:47:33.842
I see this with you versus if you're doing therapy, I see like, oh, I could go there, or I could go there Interesting.

00:47:33.842 --> 00:47:38.492
There's internal family systems yes, internal family systems.

00:47:38.492 --> 00:47:42.782
Internal family systems yes, internal family systems.

00:47:42.782 --> 00:47:43.644
There's a lot of practitioners that do it.

00:47:43.644 --> 00:47:44.085
It's a really like.

00:47:44.085 --> 00:47:48.684
It's the kind of therapy that I never want when I have the session on my calendar, cause I know it's going to go deep.

00:47:48.684 --> 00:47:53.222
But it's like like that, like that, you come out and it's it's gone.

00:47:53.222 --> 00:47:54.965
The thing that you're working on is just gone.

00:47:55.065 --> 00:47:59.893
It's like I've done it for like extreme fear that I inherited from my mother.

00:47:59.893 --> 00:48:02.985
Lots of eating disorder stuff I do it with.

00:48:02.985 --> 00:48:06.661
I get very I find that I get very activated by Weston.

00:48:06.661 --> 00:48:15.891
So he's going through potty training right now and my potty training experience was my mom sitting me down when I was like two years old saying we can't afford diapers anymore.

00:48:15.891 --> 00:48:19.407
I need you to pee on the potty, I need you to be a big girl, I need you to do this.

00:48:19.407 --> 00:48:20.449
And what did I do?

00:48:20.449 --> 00:48:34.608
I did it because my mom needed me to do it Right, and so, as he's potty training, I feel like this wicked anxiety, as he has like tough days at school, because I'm like that little part of me is like this has to be perfect, you have to do it right, you have to get it right for your mom, you know.

00:48:34.608 --> 00:48:41.344
And so it's really powerful too, as you get activated by watching your children and you might not even know that you are.

00:48:41.483 --> 00:48:46.844
I was going to say I bet we don't we feel the active you do feel there are just certain points.

00:48:46.844 --> 00:48:48.568
Motherhood is such a trip, right?

00:48:48.568 --> 00:48:50.512
What a trip.

00:48:50.512 --> 00:49:08.793
You feel very like, whether it's agitated, like you barely even have the tools, even at 40, to articulate what's happening to you, because there are so many different parts as, like you said, as they age, where you're like like, oh my God, like right now we're talking about skincare and taking care of our own bodies in my house.

00:49:08.793 --> 00:49:10.728
I'm just like I don't even know how to manage this.

00:49:10.728 --> 00:49:17.771
Like where's the line between like you should wear makeup or skincare or like I don't and I didn't?

00:49:17.871 --> 00:49:30.532
I'm not the one that brought up the conversation you know, she came from school with this and I'm like we're in a very intense world right now with stuff like that too, with step skincare.

00:49:30.893 --> 00:49:38.724
And it, but it is so every time you turn around as a mom and I don't know if women just feel it more we're more intuitive or maybe men feel it.

00:49:38.724 --> 00:50:06.994
It doesn't look to me kind of like they feel it, but I'm sure they do, maybe I don't know, but like I do feel activated on the daily about certain things and I'm just like I don't even know what that is, or maybe I didn't do something today that I should have for myself and that's why I'm feeling activated, like you just don't even know you're holding this thing, trying to hold it together for them, and then you're like, am I holding it two together and they don't see me have emotion, or am I holding it not together?

00:50:08.902 --> 00:50:10.967
Let me tell you what one of my therapists told me one time.

00:50:10.967 --> 00:50:20.123
I remember being in there just crying and I'm like I'm so Clark was probably three, three or four and I'm just like I'm so scared I'm going to F her up.

00:50:20.123 --> 00:50:22.085
And she was like she leaned in.

00:50:22.085 --> 00:50:24.626
She was like you're going to F her up.

00:50:24.626 --> 00:50:26.829
She was like and it's okay.

00:50:26.829 --> 00:50:28.949
She was like you can't be perfect.

00:50:28.949 --> 00:50:31.092
She was like she has to see the imperfection.

00:50:31.092 --> 00:50:34.873
But she told me that and I was like well, that's not very inspiring.

00:50:34.873 --> 00:50:38.657
Inspiring because I really don't want to F her up.

00:50:38.657 --> 00:50:39.818
I'm trying really hard.

00:50:55.300 --> 00:51:04.393
I feel like the fact that you're even aware of the fact that you don't want to F her up is proof that you are going to cause less damage because you have that awareness at a base level where we didn't necessarily grow up with parents.

00:51:04.393 --> 00:51:06.782
Most generations before us didn't have that awareness.

00:51:06.782 --> 00:51:15.269
That in itself is proof that you have enough awareness, that you're being intentional about your parenting and that's going to make a significant difference.

00:51:15.269 --> 00:51:16.231
Let's hope so.

00:51:16.960 --> 00:51:21.400
It is Meanwhile, I'm like Googling IFS and I will be looking at that.

00:51:21.601 --> 00:51:23.967
I know I'm like, so what makes it different?

00:51:23.967 --> 00:51:29.168
But it sounds like just like a deep, you know, like the chamber of like pain, basically.

00:51:29.168 --> 00:51:30.210
But then you get to like.

00:51:31.039 --> 00:51:32.844
Well, let me explain it to you.

00:51:32.844 --> 00:51:34.891
There's a really quick and easy way to explain it.

00:51:34.891 --> 00:51:36.603
So perfect, we need that.

00:51:36.603 --> 00:51:42.514
Ifs is based on the idea that we are born as a self.

00:51:42.514 --> 00:51:44.103
We have our self.

00:51:44.103 --> 00:51:46.949
I think of it as a pillar inside of us.

00:51:46.949 --> 00:51:47.632
That's what we're born with.

00:51:47.632 --> 00:51:55.121
But then, as we grow, as we have experiences, we develop all these parts and there's different names for them.

00:51:55.121 --> 00:52:05.943
You have protector parts, manager parts I don't know that as well, but you just have all these parts.

00:52:05.943 --> 00:52:08.655
And so in IFS I'll go in, for example, the potty training example I went in I said this is what I'm struggling with.

00:52:08.655 --> 00:52:09.579
So this is the way I do it.

00:52:09.619 --> 00:52:13.164
I don't know if this way everyone does it, but it's like very meditative.

00:52:13.164 --> 00:52:14.806
So we'd like take deep breath.

00:52:14.806 --> 00:52:19.510
We get in the moment and she says okay, what's the feeling that you're having around that?

00:52:19.510 --> 00:52:22.273
Where do you feel it in your body, where do you notice it?

00:52:22.273 --> 00:52:31.545
And then you start to give that feeling space, because a lot of times when we have this anxiety or this frustration or this thing that comes up, we try to push it away.

00:52:31.545 --> 00:52:39.548
So we immediately get you can exist here, you're allowed to this part that's showing up, that's being really anxious about potty training is allowed to be here.

00:52:39.548 --> 00:52:42.072
We're not pushing you away, we're not trying to change you.

00:52:42.072 --> 00:52:43.961
You just get to exist in our body.

00:52:43.961 --> 00:52:50.916
My eyes are closed the whole time and then often this guides you to you.

00:52:51.659 --> 00:52:57.932
At whatever age, this was like a thing where this became embedded in your, your body, your tissue.

00:52:57.932 --> 00:53:04.307
This became embedded in your body, your tissue, your energy, so like for me.

00:53:04.307 --> 00:53:05.934
I saw myself at potty training and you don't have to have a memory of it.

00:53:05.934 --> 00:53:11.414
It's more like you're just, you just trust the process, you're just guided there, and then it's a very visual experience for me.

00:53:11.414 --> 00:53:22.144
So I try to drop in and I'm physically, I try to be like I see myself as an adult present with that little child, and you basically repair the situation.

00:53:22.144 --> 00:53:28.023
So you give that version of you, that part, what they never had in that moment.

00:53:28.023 --> 00:53:34.809
So often it's a lot of compassion, it's support, it's letting them just cry, it's letting them whatever.

00:53:34.809 --> 00:53:51.043
And then you go through this whatever whole experience with them and then often at the end, whatever whole experience with them, and then often at the end, what it'll come to, at least with me, with my practitioners, will say do they want to stay there in this sort of like rewritten version of what happened, or do they want to come back with you?

00:53:51.043 --> 00:53:52.907
Would they feel safer to be back here with you?

00:53:52.907 --> 00:54:19.431
And often my parts want to come back here with me and you'll tell them like, hey, I am the adult version of you, we are safe now, I'm taking care of us now, I'm in charge now, and so I often envision all these little parts of me running around my house because I've realized that I basically built a life and created a home that I needed when I was a child, that I didn't have.

00:54:19.431 --> 00:54:20.574
I created what I needed.

00:54:20.574 --> 00:54:24.646
So it's like so it's honestly.

00:54:24.646 --> 00:54:38.826
That probably sounds so weird and it's very hard to explain, but it's one of those things that if you can find a great practitioner, you just trust the process and it's really just foundationally based in compassion, so like we just let those parts exist and then we heal them.

00:54:39.146 --> 00:54:42.003
You basically go back and change, change history.

00:54:42.003 --> 00:54:49.626
Um, there's a program that I could also really highly recommend for this type of work, which is called to be magnetic.

00:54:49.626 --> 00:54:52.672
Um, it's a membership program.

00:54:52.672 --> 00:54:54.400
I was part of it for a year.

00:54:54.400 --> 00:54:57.126
She doesn't call it IFS, she calls them.

00:54:57.126 --> 00:55:02.036
They're basically like meditations.

00:55:02.036 --> 00:55:12.208
But I realize now doing IFS that I see a lot of this work in what she does and she has like a few intro programs that she has you do before you like go into doing like the daily stuff.

00:55:12.208 --> 00:55:26.568
And one of the ones I was doing was basically this like you're going back and what she says is your brain doesn't know the difference between what you imagine in real life, which is why when you get a bad email, you react like you would if you saw a tiger, because your brain doesn't know the fucking difference.

00:55:26.568 --> 00:55:27.210
It just knows that.

00:55:27.210 --> 00:55:27.411
Yeah.

00:55:28.704 --> 00:55:30.400
So your brain doesn't know the difference between the two things.

00:55:30.400 --> 00:55:44.838
So we can go back and basically rehab the experience in the way that we need to and it wires your brain differently, based on having that particular experience, versus the actual experience that you had.

00:55:44.838 --> 00:55:49.634
So to be magnetic is like an inexpensive membership option.

00:55:49.634 --> 00:55:59.456
It's technically like it's promoted like for manifesting and stuff, but it really is just like a healing membership essentially.

00:55:59.456 --> 00:56:02.688
That I really found a lot of value in as well.

00:56:02.688 --> 00:56:06.516
And then there's lots of one-on-one IFS therapists.

00:56:06.516 --> 00:56:08.851
It's like you can be certified in IFS.

00:56:08.851 --> 00:56:09.715
There's different levels.

00:56:09.956 --> 00:56:13.409
I would recommend I can send you a link when we're done, to my practitioner.

00:56:13.409 --> 00:56:14.972
She's just a solo practitioner.

00:56:14.972 --> 00:56:21.153
She's actually based in the UK, but a client of mine we just stopped working together is IFS Telehealth Collective.

00:56:21.153 --> 00:56:28.155
They take insurance in multiple states and then if you're not in that state, you can still work with them.

00:56:28.155 --> 00:56:29.869
You just can't use your insurance.

00:56:29.869 --> 00:56:38.632
But that's one that you can book a call and then you can kind of get matched with an IFS therapist that would be best suited for what you're wanting to work on.

00:56:39.894 --> 00:56:43.039
You have so many things to link and so many people to link.

00:56:43.465 --> 00:56:43.706
Many.

00:56:44.248 --> 00:56:47.096
You're like a wealth of info.

00:56:50.385 --> 00:56:57.911
Grounded in, basically because you said the word shame earlier and like shame is like a really hard one for me.

00:56:58.072 --> 00:57:10.168
I only started using this word in the last year, um, and I don't know why, if it's just like a theme or if I just started to identify like different things that I actually felt that way about, and maybe I just didn't articulate it before.

00:57:10.168 --> 00:57:23.132
It certainly started with like getting divorced Cause, like having people that is like really intense because your whole family has relationships with this person, and you're like I got bad news for you.

00:57:23.132 --> 00:57:24.878
Yeah, it sucks.

00:57:24.878 --> 00:57:26.206
Yeah, it does suck.

00:57:26.206 --> 00:57:27.751
No, it's fine, it's good.

00:57:27.891 --> 00:57:32.387
Like I feel like it took a lot of bravery to get to the next part, 100%.

00:57:32.387 --> 00:57:44.538
But then everyone has these relationships and you're like but then everyone has these relationships and you're like I actually might have even misrepresented that person to you because I was avoiding some other things.

00:57:44.538 --> 00:57:47.740
Right, so part of that is my responsibility.

00:57:47.740 --> 00:57:55.855
But even the potty training thing, right, there's like the shame around maybe not having enough money for diapers or like a lot of this trauma.

00:57:55.855 --> 00:58:02.016
That's like shame around not having the perfect body or like it all kind of goes back to that.

00:58:02.016 --> 00:58:14.688
So I feel like the IFS feels sounds a lot to me like learning to identify different things that you kind of like hid from yourself because you specifically felt shame.

00:58:14.688 --> 00:58:18.998
Yeah, which I'm only just starting to understand, is like very real.

00:58:19.485 --> 00:58:23.440
Yeah, Like you could start an IFS session and say like I'm feeling a lot of shame.

00:58:23.440 --> 00:58:35.789
My particular practitioner would probably say, like let's talk about a specific scenario where you're feeling that shame and you, there are times where I am shocked where I land Like I had no idea that this was rooted in that.

00:58:36.190 --> 00:58:42.875
Yes, cause that's what I needed to know, that's what I needed you to say, cause I there are parts where I'm like I actually have no idea.

00:58:42.875 --> 00:58:51.510
I have things that I keep to myself that I'm like they even happened when I was younger, that I'm like God, I wish I could, like, stop thinking about that.

00:58:51.510 --> 00:58:56.478
One thing you know, and it wasn't my responsibility, it's not something that even happened specifically to me.

00:58:56.478 --> 00:59:00.539
It's like something I was present for and I'm like that was not.

00:59:00.539 --> 00:59:04.161
I don't like that, but I'm like, how do you get rid of it?

00:59:04.222 --> 00:59:12.476
Like I want to just dump it in a river and never think about it again, but it sounds like that's like the place Apparently we need IFS Like a BOGO.

00:59:14.606 --> 00:59:24.818
There are days, too, where I'm like like back to the kid thing, where you're so not triggered I don't remember what the word is that you use Activated Activated Okay, that's a much better word.

00:59:24.818 --> 00:59:33.112
I like it because I don't really like this is probably something else too, but I really don't like things that feel like negative, like triggered to me is a really negative word.

00:59:33.112 --> 00:59:34.114
Activated is better.

00:59:34.114 --> 00:59:46.333
For a while I was saying my ex and my divorce, and now I'm saying my first husband and my first marriage, because I just think it sounds.

00:59:46.333 --> 00:59:46.876
It sounds more like me.

00:59:46.876 --> 00:59:49.644
X sounds like destructive and like burn the clothes kind of like trashy version, and I don't feel that way, you know.

00:59:49.644 --> 00:59:57.237
I just feel like, well, you'd have to ask my first husband, because I also know I'm probably going to circle the wagon and do it again.

00:59:57.237 --> 01:00:07.632
I just know who I am in that way.

01:00:07.652 --> 01:00:10.498
Okay, so activated is a better word, but you don't even necessarily know why you feel activated so often.

01:00:10.498 --> 01:00:11.722
That's the case for most people.

01:00:11.722 --> 01:00:14.030
I mean, that's why people lash out.

01:00:14.030 --> 01:00:22.793
And I was miserable in my 20s because I was so fucking unhealed and I had no idea why.

01:00:22.793 --> 01:00:24.458
I had no clue why what.

01:00:24.458 --> 01:00:25.541
But and then I'm like digging in.

01:00:25.561 --> 01:00:32.525
I'm like, oh shit, there's a lot of stuff down here that I didn't know was down here because you don't know it's down there.

01:00:32.525 --> 01:00:38.168
A lot of it happens when you're really little, like you don't necessarily carry those things with you every day and think about it.

01:00:38.168 --> 01:00:39.320
And it's these things that happens when you're really little, like you don't necessarily carry those things with you every day and think about it.

01:00:39.320 --> 01:00:47.715
And it's these things that happen when you're two years old that you carry now as an adult and you've all developed all these parts to protect yourself.

01:00:47.715 --> 01:00:48.246
That's how.

01:00:48.246 --> 01:00:50.635
That's how someone protects themselves by lashing out.

01:00:50.635 --> 01:00:53.572
That's how they that part has learned to.

01:00:53.572 --> 01:00:54.675
Oh, this is how I protect myself.

01:00:54.675 --> 01:00:57.994
I fight, you know, that's one example.

01:00:58.215 --> 01:01:03.313
So you often don't know and you can just go in and say this is what I'm feeling.

01:01:03.313 --> 01:01:04.697
Here's an example or whatever.

01:01:04.697 --> 01:01:07.711
I don't know how your practitioner will do it, and then you just get in.

01:01:07.711 --> 01:01:11.306
It's really incredible and I really can only speak from my experience.

01:01:11.306 --> 01:01:12.389
So that's why sometimes it's hard.

01:01:12.389 --> 01:01:14.311
So I'm like I don't know if other people do it this way.

01:01:14.311 --> 01:01:17.056
This is just the way I do it, but I do know.

01:01:17.056 --> 01:01:18.358
It's incredibly powerful.

01:01:21.804 --> 01:01:22.786
I first heard about it with Gabby Bernstein.

01:01:22.786 --> 01:01:24.768
If you guys know her, she's a huge proponent.

01:01:24.768 --> 01:01:29.574
I think she's actually now like a certified practitioner and stuff, but she's a huge proponent of IFS as well.

01:01:29.574 --> 01:01:34.820
So if anyone needs social proof outside of little, me over here.

01:01:34.880 --> 01:01:35.221
I love it.

01:01:35.221 --> 01:01:36.427
Social proof.

01:01:36.427 --> 01:01:38.695
For me it's enough of like the women in our space.

01:01:38.695 --> 01:01:42.072
The minute I hear it I'm like wait a minute, I haven't heard this before.

01:01:42.072 --> 01:01:43.597
What does it mean?

01:01:43.597 --> 01:01:53.313
And then, if I can see that in any way it touched somebody and healed whatever it is that I can identify with, I'm like she might be interested in that.

01:01:53.673 --> 01:01:54.996
Yeah, 10 out of 10 recommend.

01:01:55.297 --> 01:01:58.646
Highly highly recommend Jessica you are just a wealth of knowledge.

01:01:58.646 --> 01:02:00.068
Thank you so much.

01:02:00.068 --> 01:02:01.572
You're so welcome.

01:02:01.572 --> 01:02:03.275
And where can we find you?

01:02:03.275 --> 01:02:04.639
All the places?

01:02:07.465 --> 01:02:11.418
Instagram at Jessica Thiefels and also my business.

01:02:11.418 --> 01:02:22.768
My marketing business is on Instagram at Echeveria Organic I think that's what it is and then LinkedIn and my website is echeveriaorganiccom.

01:02:22.768 --> 01:02:27.719
But Jessica Thievulz on Instagram is where I am all day, every day.

01:02:27.719 --> 01:02:29.690
I've probably already posted five things today.

01:02:29.690 --> 01:02:31.213
I'm very active there.

01:02:31.213 --> 01:02:32.516
I enjoy being active there.

01:02:32.516 --> 01:02:46.775
So, yeah, if anyone wants to connect or has questions or want some recommendations or anything like I'm yeah, I, you know I'm pretty popular, but I still respond to my own DMs and I love it.

01:02:47.034 --> 01:02:47.554
Please do reach out.

01:02:47.554 --> 01:02:58.994
Definitely are, though I mean I think we'll have to have you back because I want to get deeper into all of these conversations, but we should do it after we try the therapy.

01:02:59.034 --> 01:03:06.378
I was just going to say that you guys go do some IFS and then we'll come back on and we'll nerd out on IFS I love it.

01:03:06.545 --> 01:03:07.489
We'll do that on IFS.

01:03:07.489 --> 01:03:10.271
These are the things we're nerding out on now.

01:03:10.271 --> 01:03:13.815
Guys, welcome to being a mom.

01:03:13.815 --> 01:03:16.407
We're going to nerd out on healing.

01:03:16.407 --> 01:03:20.253
Yep, we, welcome to being a Mom, we're going to nerd out on healing.

01:03:20.293 --> 01:03:21.233
Yep, we need to make that into a t-shirt.

01:03:21.233 --> 01:03:22.797
Yeah, we nerd out on healing.

01:03:22.797 --> 01:03:23.797
Send it to me.

01:03:23.797 --> 01:03:25.159
That's a great actually a great t-shirt.

01:03:30.125 --> 01:03:39.565
No, I know that might have to be like a thing Okay, we're going to look into that but you've been amazing and I just want to say you're super brave for everything that you share and for the ways that you show up.

01:03:39.565 --> 01:03:49.391
I mean, I know what it takes some days just to do one post on Instagram or to be candid, and I think the more you do it, the more it becomes a muscle.

01:03:49.391 --> 01:04:03.476
But we are all surrounded by people who are scared to do it, and that's one of the things that keeps us in these little boxes to do it, and that's one of the things that keeps us in these little boxes and I just like can't say how much I appreciate you being brave enough to be like I don't want to be in the box.

01:04:04.226 --> 01:04:05.528
I this is important.

01:04:06.451 --> 01:04:10.085
Thank you, and for anyone listening who's like I'm not brave enough, that's okay.

01:04:10.085 --> 01:04:13.371
Like, know where you feel safe to be brave.

01:04:13.371 --> 01:04:16.414
Um, I feel like I can do that.

01:04:16.414 --> 01:04:17.516
I can handle that.

01:04:17.516 --> 01:04:22.570
I luckily don't really get too much negative Right and lean on the people who are doing that.

01:04:22.570 --> 01:04:29.293
And maybe for you being brave is just telling your friend or someone you're close to something you're really struggling with.

01:04:29.293 --> 01:04:33.769
Get it out there to someone if you can, that's brave still.

01:04:33.769 --> 01:04:40.807
So just don't feel like I tell it to my clients a lot Like you feel like you have to be so vulnerable.

01:04:40.807 --> 01:04:45.648
And if you feel like you want to, I think it's great and you're going to do really well because of it.

01:04:45.648 --> 01:04:47.713
But you don't have to do that.

01:04:47.713 --> 01:04:49.456
But I take the compliment, thank you.

01:04:49.456 --> 01:04:52.393
I just want to remind other people that they don't have to do that.

01:04:52.545 --> 01:04:53.608
I'm totally fine with that.

01:04:53.608 --> 01:05:24.905
I just I feel like it's just really important to say like no-transcript.

01:05:24.905 --> 01:05:27.490
Find it in these different spaces is just.

01:05:27.490 --> 01:05:30.277
I mean, I just have such a deep appreciation for it.

01:05:30.646 --> 01:05:32.731
Yeah, completely agreed, thank you.

01:05:33.152 --> 01:05:33.472
You're welcome.

01:05:33.472 --> 01:05:35.135
Thank you so much, jessica.

01:05:35.135 --> 01:05:37.047
Yeah, you, you'll come back after our therapy.

01:05:37.047 --> 01:05:40.094
We're excited Buy one, get one.

01:05:40.094 --> 01:05:42.579
You get it set up.

01:05:42.579 --> 01:05:45.025
I'm one of those like coupon websites.

01:05:45.025 --> 01:05:48.373
All right, guys.

01:05:48.373 --> 01:05:49.275
Thanks so much.

01:05:49.275 --> 01:05:50.418
We will see you next week.