March 7, 2024

Eagle Eyes, Getting Fired & Living Your Purpose

Eagle Eyes, Getting Fired & Living Your Purpose

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We’re still unpacking with one another, but this time we’re talking about the fear of failure. Jenny & Raebecca openly share how deeply they were affected by failure in their past. And ultimately what a gift it was, and how much growth it offered them both. Whether it’s a job or a marriage, the fear failure holds a lot of people back from responding to their calling, or using their gifts. Do you have to understand failure in order to appreciate success?

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Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843

00:00 - Friendship, Crocheting, and Personal Stories

04:59 - Embracing Failure

16:41 - Starting a Podcast

30:55 - Embracing Imperfection and Self-Discovery

WEBVTT

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Good morning.

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Good morning.

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Good morning, I'm good Ready for spring.

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I'm going to be intrusive.

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Ooh, I love intrusive.

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Well, okay, maybe I'm not.

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It's not super intrusive Now I feel like.

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I might have a ticket to do that, but yeah, you definitely, I haven't heard about Tim in a little bit.

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Oh, tim is good.

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He is currently sprawled out in my bed with my other dog, boozy, so they're friends.

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Now they're friends.

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I have to see a picture of them this morning cuddling on the couch.

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Yeah, we've had some growing pains, but I think we've all adjusted.

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I mean, it's like having another kid in the house.

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But last time you made, the last time we talked about this, Boozy was not so sure about Tim.

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Yeah, he's doing better now.

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They play, but it is so yesterday, excuse me, my daughter got a big stuffed eagle on President's Day.

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This is a cute picture, oh my gosh.

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Are they cute?

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Yes, I'll upload it to social.

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They're cute.

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She was so excited about this stuffed animal she was going to take you to show.

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Until the next day the freaking dog gets a hold of the eagle and I heard him crunching on something he had ripped.

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The eagle's eye out was like chewing on it.

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Oh no, my daughter was devastated and I was like it's fine, we'll get him a patch.

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Not that big of a deal.

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I was like it'll be cooler because he'll be like.

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I thought you were going to say we'll get another one.

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You said a patch.

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This thing was like 40 bucks.

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I'm not buying her another one, she'll be fine.

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So anyway, long story short, I found the eyeball.

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He did not eat it, thank goodness, because I probably would not have been pleasant for him to express, so I just popped that sucker back in, and then my husband came home and sewed it up, and that eagle is good as gold.

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Wait, nate sewed it.

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Yeah, I don't say, I mean I forgot about this.

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I can't even sew a button on.

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We have not talked about Nate's Are you?

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ashamed.

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Yes, yeah, my husband's.

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He's like Nate's, that person who's like good at everything and like I'm not just saying that because I'm his wife Like he is he's-.

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I actually love that you're saying that and you're his wife.

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Yeah, I mean, he's just good at everything.

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Like he's good at sports.

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He's good, you know.

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I say that I can name a few.

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I can name a few areas of improvement.

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He can't find a few wallet for shit.

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He loses stuff all the time.

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He can't find anything in the fridge, pantry or grocery store.

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But aside from those things, he is just good at everything.

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So, yes, he sews, he crochets, he.

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He's very, very talented.

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That's what he took up during COVID was crocheting.

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I love it.

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I mean, he was making some pretty cool things he made a we made like booby-coozies.

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What even is that?

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Oh my God, you obviously don't follow his page Yarnspy Yoko Wait are you talking about the beer holders?

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Well, that was the hand-tuggy.

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Okay, we made a commercial for that and everything.

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Did you see it?

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Oh my gosh, I'm going to message it to you right now.

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But yes, those are the kind of things we we did during COVID was he crocheted and then I did his marketing for him.

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I love it, though.

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Yeah, yeah, I'll send you his commercial right now.

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I'm sending it to you.

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Oh please do.

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We'll post it on the page too, because it's really funny.

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Yeah, I don't know if you're doing the social media for marketing in Mayhem, because it is kind of chaotic, but it's definitely who we are.

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It's Mayhem, because that's exactly what we are.

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You're getting some real personal insight into our lives, which I have.

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Okay.

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So I want to unpack something we were.

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I'm jumping right into it.

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You better buckle up.

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Buckle up buttercup.

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Well, we last time we talked about this restaurant experience that we had and the food wasn't great, but the atmosphere is great and the restaurant's beautiful.

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It's possible we'll be back.

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We just know what we're not ordering and the service was great.

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But I started thinking about, like, why we were really there that long.

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Because we were.

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We had three glasses of wine there, like we were there for a while and we you have to tell me if this is too personal, but we started we were talking about love is blind.

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We're talking about TV shows, and then we started talking about a really personal experience that you had.

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Okay, that we shared, that we did not know that we shared.

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Is this okay?

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Can we talk about this?

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We can talk about it, if I think it's what you're talking about.

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Otherwise, I'm going to be very concerned.

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We don't edit these things and we will never do that, so you're going to get what you get.

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So, yeah, what would you get?

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Well, you shared your experience about failure.

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Yes, yes, yes, I'm good, okay, and essentially I'll actually let you tell, give the details around the failure, but I think we should unpack this for a second, because we are doing multiple things right now that have the potential, like anything, to fail.

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I'm coming out of a season of failure.

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We, randomly, we have known each other for a while.

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We shared how this started, but if you zoom out a little bit further, it started from a season of failure, so I think we should actually talk about that.

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We should just a little we should.

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And to be just to be clear and transparent.

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Like I am a bit of a perfectionist, I don't love failure, so it's a risk to bring this up.

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Yeah, so for me to talk about this is like not the easiest thing, but you know what I'm going to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

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We're doing a lot of that lately.

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Yes, so I ran a successful business with my father up until 2021.

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So I was with him for about how long was that with him?

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About 11 years.

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We did that national construction business very successful.

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He ended up selling to another company and I went to work for someone kind of in that same space, was with him for about a year and a half, was crushing it, doing marketing, business development, social media, a bunch of different things and really was it the peak of my career.

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Like we had plans for, you know, future growth and planning things for the year.

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And then one day I got a call at 10 o'clock in the morning and was told that I was being let go.

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And to tell you I was blonde sided is like the biggest understatement.

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When you're a really perceptive person, like I am too, uh-huh, yeah that I.

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When you say that you were blindsided, I know that you.

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There was not a single conversation leading up to that that would have given you that impression that that could potentially happen.

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Yeah, we it was a season of, so I had found out it was right at the beginning of the school summer and I had lost my child care for the summer.

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So I was really kind of battling with what I needed to do.

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You know, could I work part-time, could I just work like really early in the morning, then really late at night, just to make it work, so I could have, you know, obviously, my time with my daughter during the day?

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Everything was fine, like we were.

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I mean, everything was fine until it wasn't and I, I called my husband as soon as it happened.

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So I had known this person for about three, you know, I was just about three and a half years and so I thought we were friends, like I really thought we were friends.

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Yeah, um, and I think it just it just caught me so off guard and I mean I called Nate and like he had to come home.

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I was a freaking basket case like and and I mean that was like June 7th and I remember the date Because it scarred me for life.

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I have never been let go from a job in my life like ever.

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Like work is my thing, like I may suck at all these other things, like I cannot sew a button, but by golly, I'm a really hard worker.

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So I think it just and I was so scared of like my reputation because I mean, I was very forward-facing, I was very active on LinkedIn, on social media, marketing our business, like I was at networking events constantly, like on all these things, and just it was, it was awful and like it was such a bruise to my ego that I didn't even know I had yeah.

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So yeah, it really Really, um, it shook me.

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Shook me for about three months, to be quite honest.

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Yeah, no, I.

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So two things in there I Am.

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This is one thing that we share, that I think, even when we have things in our businesses together that we don't necessarily see eye to eye, and I Know that I am the hardest worker in almost every room I show up in.

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Yeah so, and I know that you're the same.

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So I totally get that, because there has never been a time in my life where I did not Like I actually said this.

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So my girls are on summer some team and I made this joke to the head coach last year about I don't know specifically what we were doing, but it was going extremely poorly but we needed.

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And I just looked at her and said I mean, I've dragged dead her bodies and and she literally like spit out her soda.

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She's like how many use that at work?

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And she texted me the other day and she said I use this all the time.

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She has a job that's pretty serious.

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And so she was like there are just things that have to get to the finish line, no matter how ugly it is.

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And she's like I use that and use it in big conference rooms, like We've dragged dead her bodies, get it done, like, but I I'm not afraid of Sweat.

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Hard work, like doing the heart, having hard conversations, any of those things.

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Like you, if you need somebody to dig a hole, I'm your girl, like I'm sure.

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Well, I think there's no you and I kind of like we really pow, wow, because it is such a it's a hard thing to find, to find people who are just willing to like work that hard and then kind of roll up their sleeves and kind of Get in there.

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I mean, everybody wants to be at the top.

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I always say everybody wants to be in the ivory tower.

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But you got to.

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You know, you got to earn your keep to get there, right, I mean, you can't just you've, you've got to earn it.

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But honestly, I had the best summer.

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It what turned, what really shook me and really transformed me, ended up being the biggest blessing.

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Like I had the best summer with Clark.

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We traveled, we had so much fun.

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I was a lot more pleasant to be around because I wasn't a huge stress ball.

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It helped my marriage like just the whole kitten caboodle, like it was just such a blessing and, to be quite honest, it gave me the confidence to go out and do my own thing.

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I told myself I will never work for somebody, ever again.

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I'm not doing it.

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So it gave me the fear and the failure turned to courage and like inspiration to just get it done and do it myself.

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I'm like I'll be damned.

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I'm tired of making other people money.

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I'm gonna go do it myself.

00:11:58.743 --> 00:12:05.356
And here we are, so yeah well, in that conversation I shared that I had also been fired which is so crazy to me.

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I Like I don't advertise it because I'm like I'm I don't know, I wouldn't say I'm a barrier.

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It's a good conversation to have honor at this point.

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Yeah and like because we got fired.

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We didn't get fired because we had attendance issues.

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We didn't get fired because we were inappropriate at work.

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We didn't get fired because of poor performance, like.

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No, what's your father story?

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I don't know if we talked about this, did we?

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Well, I worked for a local retailer okay, I'm and after I got fired, a lot of other people got fired mmm but the basic is the two things that the retail company was in trouble, they had made some really bad spending decisions and buying decisions and I was the only district manager that was external, so I was the most expensive and I was the local one, and so the thought process I think high level, because I don't have a great explanation.

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Actually, the explanation that I got Was because I was a mom.

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Stop it.

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No, really like they tried to basically say that Because I was a mom, I made it seem like they weren't the priority.

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I mean I was working like 70 hour weeks.

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I was that chaps my hard.

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I'm gonna be honest with you, because you, you tell me that there there is not a harder Working person than a mom 100%.

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That I can fully say, like if Anything was getting more priority.

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It was actually this job in some ways, so that it was a blessing in disguise for sure.

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But I had such a chip in my shoulder to like prove that both that it could be done and that this.

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Even though I was Working against this like tidal wave of poor corporate decisions.

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Like I was determined to keep my teams happy and healthy and then to show some green and the.

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The main statement was because you're a mom and you're not making the right priority decisions.

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I worked all the time.

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Are you like me?

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Like I look back and I saw a post actually on LinkedIn yesterday.

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It was a story, similar story.

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A woman had gotten fired and she had this like huge list of all the things that she regretted missing in her family.

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It was something along the lines of you know, I miss my son's graduation speech and they fired me anyway.

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Or I missed my son's last day at home before he left for the military and they fired me anyway.

00:14:48.826 --> 00:15:07.321
So I think I know, when I kind of came out of like again that initial like ego blow, yeah, it was just more of I have traveled, I have been away from my family, I have, you know, done all these things for all these other people and At the end of the day, it does.

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It didn't matter, it was not enough and I am just replace ball Although they never replaced me in that role because they got rid of it because he said we were growing too fast, which is a great compliment to a marketer, by the way Fired yeah.

00:15:21.932 --> 00:15:31.370
But you know, I think, just looking back, you're like, oh my gosh, like why did I give up so much of myself and my family time for a job?

00:15:32.605 --> 00:15:34.490
Do you so just now, when we were talking?

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I'm a big symbolism person and I'm a big number person, mm-hmm.

00:15:38.985 --> 00:15:40.691
And this is episode eight, right?

00:15:41.312 --> 00:15:42.616
It is yeah, all right.

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Of all the numbers in numerology, the number eight is the achiever, and it measures life by the goals it reaches.

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It has good business sense, a powerful presence in a strong drive for success.

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The eight is also the symbol of balance.

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You can see it in its symmetrical shape, for every blessing it receives, it puts one back out into the universe.

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When things are balanced, they feel stable, controlled, supported, which is the most productive environment for the eight to work within.

00:16:08.239 --> 00:16:12.355
Hmm, an interesting thing for like very interesting.

00:16:13.025 --> 00:16:15.677
Episode eight to be about is very interesting.

00:16:15.980 --> 00:16:16.985
That is very interesting.

00:16:16.985 --> 00:16:24.365
But yeah, I mean, I don't know if you found that after you Like, did you have like a major ego blow because it like that was the worst part for me.

00:16:24.826 --> 00:16:30.197
Yeah, I mean I just came out of another season of failure Absolutely, I mean on my marriage failed.

00:16:30.197 --> 00:16:41.337
Yeah, I mean, I can't even, I can't fathom yeah, like back, so We'll circle back if you just started in episode eight.

00:16:41.337 --> 00:16:49.759
But this, this podcast, really started over Jenny and I having a conversation on a social media platform.

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It was on Instagram, in DMs, and we were troubleshooting some ideas of like current marketing.

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We were just talking because Jenny was in that what everybody talks about.

00:17:00.407 --> 00:17:04.217
Alright, don't just pour a glass of wine and ask about social media trends.

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That's why we were unpacking some social media trends and we have good.

00:17:11.765 --> 00:17:13.252
We had good rapport previously.

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Like we've known each other for a while, but we hadn't spent much time together recently and she was starting this company and she was coming out of this summer and I actually had no idea that you had lost your job going into the summer.

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I just knew that you were quiet, but I was also having a summer where I was having a lot of questions about my own life and so I really wasn't paying attention to other people's quietness because I was doing the same.

00:17:38.105 --> 00:17:42.153
So then you say like, oh, we should have a podcast.

00:17:42.153 --> 00:17:44.578
And then I say like, okay, we're gonna start Monday.

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Freak out completely.

00:17:46.807 --> 00:17:49.757
I was like yeah, freaked out completely.

00:17:50.267 --> 00:17:53.384
But we did and we had to throw away a few episodes and we learned a lot.

00:17:53.965 --> 00:17:56.094
But we really didn't throw any episodes away.

00:17:56.094 --> 00:18:00.979
If you think about it, every day there was a couple we did it.

00:18:00.979 --> 00:18:01.621
No.

00:18:02.002 --> 00:18:02.585
I thought that we did.

00:18:03.046 --> 00:18:04.147
We got rid of the video.

00:18:04.147 --> 00:18:05.451
We did not get rid of the audio.

00:18:05.451 --> 00:18:07.634
All these episodes are exactly what we shot.

00:18:07.634 --> 00:18:09.679
We have not gotten rid of anything.

00:18:09.679 --> 00:18:14.209
For some reason, I thought that we did no Just video, babe.

00:18:14.209 --> 00:18:19.191
Just video, that our Trailers, where I kept accidentally screwing it up.

00:18:19.191 --> 00:18:20.433
Then, yeah, we got rid of those.

00:18:20.855 --> 00:18:26.984
We get the the that because the week the one is so funny where I cuss.

00:18:27.726 --> 00:18:29.229
Uh-huh, I was so frustrated.

00:18:29.229 --> 00:18:30.592
I was so frustrated.

00:18:30.592 --> 00:18:33.939
That was a hard, you're like doing this whole thing other and frustrated.

00:18:33.939 --> 00:18:38.708
Oh yeah, when I said she really hard.

00:18:38.788 --> 00:18:43.734
I Was like waiting for you to say something like bless my biscuits, or something.

00:18:43.734 --> 00:18:45.455
I was like what is it even happening right now?

00:18:45.455 --> 00:18:53.884
Like you can just like be mad you just look at mad, like the New Yorker and me is like I think you forget that I'm like a New Yorker sometimes.

00:18:53.964 --> 00:18:58.477
I do forget your, because you don't have, like the New Yorker quote, unquote, like stereotypical accent.

00:18:59.626 --> 00:19:03.224
No, but I did make you nervous when I talked about that dinner being a bad dinner in front of the server.

00:19:04.710 --> 00:19:05.071
It was rude.

00:19:05.071 --> 00:19:07.500
No, you weren't rude, it just I don't do stuff like that.

00:19:07.500 --> 00:19:07.540
I.

00:19:08.846 --> 00:19:13.678
Just needed him to know, like if we were gonna go around three, like it just needed to be so much better than the first.

00:19:13.724 --> 00:19:14.769
Yeah and it was.

00:19:14.769 --> 00:19:15.953
It was so.

00:19:15.953 --> 00:19:23.359
My point is this that we were I was in this very, very private season of failing, because I had to fail in front of everybody.

00:19:23.359 --> 00:19:24.644
It wasn't even just the job.

00:19:24.644 --> 00:19:36.493
This time I like had this huge secret, actually talked about this the other day in social media, but I had this massive secret that nobody knew was actually happening.

00:19:36.493 --> 00:19:42.471
Like I already had an attorney, like we were in conversations, but I had to keep going.

00:19:42.471 --> 00:19:43.718
And so then this podcast.

00:19:43.758 --> 00:19:55.384
I kept saying yes to you, I can't even just say that I was saying yes to things, because I said yes to you about two things and not everyone else you and there was just literally no thought put into it whatsoever.

00:19:56.126 --> 00:19:57.430
And I think that's what's so crazy.

00:19:57.430 --> 00:20:23.111
I mean, obviously, like the company, like I, had been behind the scenes, like logo colors, things like that kind of working on you know where the concept would be, but Other than that, like there was no thought into us starting the podcast, us working together, doing marketing together, because you know it's really hard to work with people and to find people, especially in the marketing space, where you know your creative vibes have to go together.

00:20:23.111 --> 00:20:28.509
You're kind of like how you handle things, how you treat people, like what's important.

00:20:28.509 --> 00:20:34.636
I think it's a really hard field to find like-minded People to work together.

00:20:34.636 --> 00:20:36.323
It's a tall order.

00:20:36.323 --> 00:20:37.165
It's a tall order.

00:20:37.948 --> 00:20:38.229
It is.

00:20:38.288 --> 00:20:56.432
But I will say this Doing marketing without having a decent size wingspan is a tall order too, because there are so many facets now, yes, traditional, and all of the different platforms, whether it is like LinkedIn or it's Instagram or whatever it.

00:20:56.432 --> 00:21:06.611
However, it is that you're going to influencing a Facebook group of 14,000 moms so that you can be seen in a good light like it's a lot for a one-man show.

00:21:06.611 --> 00:21:08.718
It's a lot for a two-man show.

00:21:08.718 --> 00:21:09.220
Yeah.

00:21:09.220 --> 00:21:12.507
Yeah, it requires a lot of work, but yes.

00:21:12.507 --> 00:21:16.074
So I say yes, I say actually we're gonna meet Monday.

00:21:16.074 --> 00:21:21.003
Say Stress me out.

00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:27.189
But because I'm just such a like oh well, let's, let's set it up, let's get things done.

00:21:27.189 --> 00:21:32.442
Let me do a little research on what's the best microphone and you're like no, no, no, let's just roll my.

00:21:32.824 --> 00:21:53.374
okay, I'm a percent yeah, percent, and but it worked and then and then it grew, so then it became this thing where you had already started the company and colors and you were asking me about logo design and then one day you presented a different.

00:21:56.020 --> 00:21:56.903
Yeah it's.

00:21:56.903 --> 00:22:05.406
It evolved like I feel like I knew what the name, what I wanted the name to be yeah, and how I wanted the feel to be like came to me while I was washing my hair in the shower.

00:22:05.406 --> 00:22:06.770
I get my best ideas there.

00:22:08.580 --> 00:22:13.545
We should talk about the shampoo we use really quick, because we actually use the same shampoo and we haven't unpacked this.

00:22:13.545 --> 00:22:20.826
And we're not saying you have to be influenced, but hashtag influence, don't use like fancy shampoo.

00:22:20.826 --> 00:22:20.867
I.

00:22:22.121 --> 00:22:23.644
Was influenced by Cameron.

00:22:23.644 --> 00:22:25.848
You banks from Southern charm.

00:22:26.651 --> 00:22:28.781
I've never, ever I've used that.

00:22:28.801 --> 00:22:39.007
Well, that's no offhand out about it because I'm like it's what is it called Aussie Right, but it's like a specific Moisture, isn't it the miracle?

00:22:39.047 --> 00:22:40.070
conditioner or something.

00:22:40.070 --> 00:22:41.657
Well, that's the three minute.

00:22:41.657 --> 00:22:46.951
The deep Okay is like the three minute miracle and it's great for the like the kids hair too.

00:22:47.642 --> 00:22:48.826
It's like I use the kid one.

00:22:48.826 --> 00:22:50.290
It smells amazing.

00:22:50.290 --> 00:22:50.792
I love it.

00:22:50.792 --> 00:22:52.599
Yeah, big fan oh it's gonna be amazing.

00:22:52.740 --> 00:22:55.880
We literally use the purple bottle of Aussie with the little kangaroo.

00:22:56.662 --> 00:22:56.903
Mm-hmm.

00:22:56.962 --> 00:22:59.750
It's our best ideas come and we're washing our hair.

00:22:59.750 --> 00:23:01.241
All the time.

00:23:01.241 --> 00:23:03.567
We send texts that say I just washed my hair.

00:23:03.567 --> 00:23:05.112
I need you to hear this.

00:23:05.112 --> 00:23:08.403
Yeah, it's our best.

00:23:08.403 --> 00:23:11.242
Yeah, you had an idea about that.

00:23:11.242 --> 00:23:13.689
Yesterday, after you washed your hair, I got a text from you actually you.

00:23:13.689 --> 00:23:15.133
We talked about it in the car.

00:23:15.842 --> 00:23:16.182
We did.

00:23:16.182 --> 00:23:18.230
We're not gonna talk about that one here.

00:23:18.833 --> 00:23:20.759
We're not, but it was like a really good.

00:23:20.759 --> 00:23:24.487
It was a good idea, like we it.

00:23:24.487 --> 00:23:33.027
It could be anything from like, so I have a theory about this real quick, about watching your hair, about I know, why you get good ideas in the shower.

00:23:33.407 --> 00:23:40.203
All right, talk to me because you are only focused On what you're doing.

00:23:40.203 --> 00:23:42.891
So your brain is like it.

00:23:42.891 --> 00:23:51.184
It clears out all the noise and Makes room to have genuine, like creative Thought.

00:23:51.184 --> 00:23:56.267
So like you're not there with your phone, you're not in there with your woman I guess you're not, you know.

00:23:56.267 --> 00:23:59.201
You're not there with the TV, you're not in there with your kids, you're not.

00:23:59.201 --> 00:24:09.429
It's just like clear the mechanism, like let the brain and the subconscious just flow, and it's just like it makes room for all these creative ideas.

00:24:09.429 --> 00:24:22.769
Because I'm telling you like this is, I've been consistently a person who gets their best ideas in the shower, like to the point that Nate bought me like a waterproof, like pencil and like notepad I Because I mean I do that's when I have my best ideas.

00:24:23.721 --> 00:24:25.007
That was also really thoughtful.

00:24:26.010 --> 00:24:26.976
I know he is thoughtful.

00:24:27.560 --> 00:24:30.388
I feel like he needs getting a lot of shout outs on this, which I kind of love.

00:24:30.388 --> 00:24:31.873
He gets like a little bit of like.

00:24:32.621 --> 00:24:35.509
Which is, I don't even know if he listens to these podcasts.

00:24:36.029 --> 00:24:36.751
Oh shoot really.

00:24:39.061 --> 00:24:40.467
I'm like you should listen.

00:24:40.467 --> 00:24:42.534
I say a lot of really nice things about you.

00:24:42.534 --> 00:24:44.220
He's like oh, that's nice.

00:24:44.220 --> 00:24:48.151
No, but you really do, I know.

00:24:48.151 --> 00:24:52.286
I Think he's great me listening.

00:24:52.787 --> 00:24:53.567
We appreciate you.

00:24:53.868 --> 00:24:57.576
We do appreciate you, our tech guy button sower and.

00:24:58.665 --> 00:25:00.519
I've also her septic tank emptier.

00:25:00.519 --> 00:25:05.286
Oh my gosh, we did not unpack that at all yet.

00:25:05.425 --> 00:25:07.087
We haven't, but it's fun.

00:25:07.087 --> 00:25:12.375
We'll save that one for another day guys happen these things.

00:25:15.001 --> 00:25:16.691
Well, failure, I mean.

00:25:16.691 --> 00:25:29.131
I think I Think we all have this like innate fear of failure, naturally, and you're pretty sure it'll work out at about $60 million dollars or about $jach after some poor 監工, but I think some people have the fear, but then they don't.

00:25:29.131 --> 00:25:33.405
Hmm, okay, I need to unpack this.

00:25:33.405 --> 00:25:34.343
You're going to help me through it.

00:25:34.343 --> 00:25:35.768
I think everyone has.

00:25:36.300 --> 00:25:51.730
Let me listen to say this about the NC If you can get your thought, I would never have had the courage to step out on my own and I almost feel like I was kind of forced into doing what I knew I needed to be doing the whole time.

00:25:52.272 --> 00:25:52.492
Yeah.

00:25:53.541 --> 00:26:07.207
So I actually look back and I'm very grateful and thankful that it happened, because I'm like it gave me the courage and the push that I needed and I think a lot of people are like that they are living in.

00:26:07.207 --> 00:26:09.787
So I went through this process during COVID.

00:26:09.787 --> 00:26:22.288
It's called the on purpose person and we can yeah, it's a really it's a deep dive into what your God given purpose is, and so I did this process for about 10 months.

00:26:22.288 --> 00:26:30.625
I did some major, major work and it really gave me clarity on why I'm here and the things that I should be doing.

00:26:30.625 --> 00:26:43.964
So I feel like kind of going through that process, then going through the process of selling the business with my dad, going through the process of having the biggest professional ego blow of my life.

00:26:44.487 --> 00:26:44.688
Yeah.

00:26:45.539 --> 00:26:52.805
In 2023, it just really was like okay, Jenny, like here are all the signs, like what do you want me to do?

00:26:52.805 --> 00:26:54.306
Come down and slap you in the face.

00:26:54.306 --> 00:26:56.846
Like it's time for you to go do your thing.

00:26:56.846 --> 00:27:07.373
And granted, like we talk about how much we worked in those former roles, but like I can honestly say I'm probably working the same, if not more, now.

00:27:07.373 --> 00:27:27.826
But the fact that, like my family gets to see me doing something that I love, about something that I love pouring into the community, that I love in the small businesses, helping business owners achieve their next level of success Like I feel a hundred percent certain that I am doing exactly what I was put here to do and that's a great place to be.

00:27:28.909 --> 00:27:29.150
Yeah.

00:27:29.150 --> 00:27:38.089
So I was going to say two things, because I feel like a lot of people have a fear of failure, but they never put themselves in the ring.

00:27:38.089 --> 00:27:45.731
And if there's any way, you that's what I was going to say Like, if there's any way you can not do that, stop immediately.

00:27:45.731 --> 00:27:47.703
Like your fear of failure.

00:27:47.703 --> 00:27:57.592
Failing is probably one of the best things that you could do, whether it is like a job, or if it is saying okay, like the marriage thing.

00:27:57.592 --> 00:28:00.463
Like okay, this is not the right fit, this isn't the right choice.

00:28:00.463 --> 00:28:02.023
Like for my kids.

00:28:02.023 --> 00:28:05.385
Like we're going to be great friends, we're going to do all of the things together.

00:28:06.339 --> 00:28:10.630
That's a better solution than just holding on to something that isn't working.

00:28:11.471 --> 00:28:11.712
I agree.

00:28:11.819 --> 00:28:19.087
I'm not saying for the job, but not getting in the ring because you're afraid to fail is absolutely like the worst possible decision.

00:28:19.087 --> 00:28:27.971
Like, if I can give anyone advice from the other side, like get in the ring and like you're staying right now with it being your purpose completely brings that like full circle.

00:28:27.971 --> 00:28:33.751
Like I am so much more proud of the things that we're creating.

00:28:33.751 --> 00:28:36.306
My kids are excited about it.

00:28:36.306 --> 00:28:38.480
I mean they'll ask these really pointed questions.

00:28:38.480 --> 00:28:47.207
They have no idea, conceptually right, what some of this even is, but they're like yeah, and like the biggest cheerleaders I mean some of them.

00:28:47.247 --> 00:28:47.808
I love it.

00:28:47.808 --> 00:28:55.488
I mean my daughter all of my Christmas presents were in our brand colors she bought me here and draws our logo.

00:28:55.488 --> 00:28:57.606
She does everything piece of art.

00:28:57.606 --> 00:29:05.130
She's like, well, you know, this is your, you know gritty gal colors and your marketing and mayhem colors and she just I love that she is that.

00:29:05.130 --> 00:29:12.429
I mean and to me that's the biggest thing is that we're showing them that like it's okay to get knocked down as long as you get back up again.

00:29:13.201 --> 00:29:19.614
Oh, and they're like some of them will get off the bus and just say like, did you get your work out in, did you do your podcast?

00:29:19.614 --> 00:29:22.333
And I'm like, yeah, so these my checklists, I love it.

00:29:23.762 --> 00:29:25.326
And she's in kindergarten.

00:29:25.385 --> 00:29:27.972
but she's like okay, good job, you're doing a great job.

00:29:28.140 --> 00:29:29.964
I love accountability partnered.

00:29:30.125 --> 00:29:31.048
No matter what age?

00:29:31.048 --> 00:29:36.590
Yeah, and she's just like, okay, well then she obviously has decided for me that like that's a priority.

00:29:36.590 --> 00:29:42.244
So then you have to kind of listen to these little like you're saying, right, your God given purpose.

00:29:42.244 --> 00:29:47.972
Like yes, it's funny and sweet that she says that, but she can tell that that's a priority.

00:29:47.972 --> 00:29:52.030
So, she's checking in to make sure that I see the priority too.

00:29:52.681 --> 00:29:57.751
And I listened to all those like little whispers, even if it is like about the episode eight thing.

00:29:57.751 --> 00:30:21.374
I'm paying a lot more attention than I used to about the path in general and I'm not being so strong minded about what the path has to be Like I you can clearly see it being laid out for you If you start listening yeah doing the inner work and the growth and it's just so interesting to me it really is.

00:30:21.640 --> 00:30:38.893
And I feel like once you become okay with failure, like yeah, it's been such an eye opener and like a breath of like, honestly, like I've been dealing with the people pleasing and the perfectionism thing for I mean I'm talking like my whole life, just deep, deep rooted.

00:30:38.893 --> 00:30:40.560
My parents are the same way they're.

00:30:40.560 --> 00:30:41.586
They're both like that.

00:30:41.586 --> 00:30:44.308
Um, I mean, with that it comes a very hard work ethic.

00:30:44.308 --> 00:30:45.803
So I'm thankful to a point.

00:30:45.803 --> 00:30:48.691
But now I'm just like you know what it's okay.

00:30:48.691 --> 00:30:55.750
It's okay if we don't have video on our podcast, it doesn't matter if we skip a week, and like we'll figure it out.

00:30:55.750 --> 00:31:06.082
Like, at the end of the day, like I've just become a lot more gracious with myself about those things, because inevitably we all fall short in something.

00:31:06.082 --> 00:31:09.723
I cannot say a button, and that's okay.

00:31:09.723 --> 00:31:19.512
And you know it's because I think, at the end of the day, like I don't want my daughter to see that you have to live like that, because I mean, at the end of the day, it's unattainable.

00:31:19.512 --> 00:31:21.140
Perfectionism is unattainable.

00:31:21.883 --> 00:31:22.365
It's a disease.

00:31:22.365 --> 00:31:23.869
Remember we impact that my sister.

00:31:23.869 --> 00:31:36.372
Yes, the therapist which is a perfectionist and misses disease, and then also, if you try to be amazing at everything, you're going to be giving, you know, 10% to each piece.

00:31:36.372 --> 00:31:42.333
And so I say this a lot in work.

00:31:42.333 --> 00:31:45.940
But sometimes, when we cling to something, I call it.

00:31:45.940 --> 00:31:53.053
I say it in a funnier way, but I call it the pretty woman syndrome, where she sits in at the restaurant and she's like but where's the salad?

00:31:53.053 --> 00:31:54.810
Because that's like the fork that I know.

00:31:57.088 --> 00:31:59.355
But see, I think you know all the forks.

00:31:59.355 --> 00:32:02.493
But she says where's the salad?

00:32:02.565 --> 00:32:02.644
Like?

00:32:02.644 --> 00:32:03.328
That's the fork.

00:32:03.328 --> 00:32:23.127
I know, Like when you are waiting for one thing because that's the only thing that it makes you comfortable, you're going to miss all of the other things I know you don't necessarily get to decide right, Because we're saying some of this is like faith or your path or however that works Like you have a gift.

00:32:23.127 --> 00:32:28.748
You don't necessarily get to decide what your gift is Like.

00:32:28.748 --> 00:32:37.321
You really do have to be pretty open, pretty like open-minded and flexible to like what your true gift is actually.

00:32:38.005 --> 00:32:40.211
Yes, I mean again, I worked on it for 10 months.

00:32:40.211 --> 00:32:41.555
It's some work.

00:32:41.555 --> 00:32:49.876
It is some work, but once you figure it out, you figure out what hasn't been your quote, unquote purpose.

00:32:49.876 --> 00:32:56.544
So you feel that kind of icky feeling when you're in situations that you don't like.

00:32:56.544 --> 00:33:03.672
How it feels, then you know that you're not doing what you're supposed to, and so it just really provides clarity.

00:33:03.672 --> 00:33:05.248
You know my mentor.

00:33:05.248 --> 00:33:12.010
She compared it to a light switch when you're on purpose, your light's on, when you're off purpose, your light's off.

00:33:12.010 --> 00:33:22.959
So it just really kind of helped me get some clarity about situations and removing myself from situations or relationships where it's just like you know I'm not, this isn't serving me.

00:33:24.702 --> 00:33:31.151
So, yeah, yeah, this got a lot deeper, I know, but I think that this is the.

00:33:31.151 --> 00:33:33.135
I think it's good for everyone to see this side.

00:33:33.135 --> 00:34:03.185
But I don't think that we would have gotten here and not just the podcast, but even to this, to your point, like on purpose person or purpose driven life or this idea of like really following your own light, if we hadn't had a hard stop from somebody that completely took us by surprise and, by the way, like you said, and Nate had to come home because you were that upset, like you have to go through that part too, like you have.

00:34:03.185 --> 00:34:08.309
I remember which celebrity said that something about like the only way out is through.

00:34:08.309 --> 00:34:16.590
So avoiding some of that like emotion or not unpacking that, or like you did the work with somebody and you this on purpose person.

00:34:17.492 --> 00:34:31.177
I have talked openly about this on here, but I did really intensive weekly therapy for a while when I was trying to sort of redefine like my values and beliefs and like who I was and sort of do some soul searching.

00:34:31.177 --> 00:34:34.914
But you have to go all the way through.

00:34:34.914 --> 00:34:49.429
You can't skirt to the side and skip over the ugly stuff Like that you were given that hand, that firing or whatever it was for a reason and to just put your head in the sand and grab the next job and ignore it would have just, but you would have had to do it again.

00:34:49.429 --> 00:34:56.574
Yes, so you've actually had to come back to the table again until you are ready to listen.

00:34:56.574 --> 00:34:58.518
Yes, whatever it is.

00:34:58.518 --> 00:35:01.414
Yeah, I think you just found your word for the year what?

00:35:01.414 --> 00:35:04.509
I think it's faith.

00:35:04.509 --> 00:35:06.552
Oh, yeah, I said that.

00:35:06.552 --> 00:35:08.717
Okay, let's say yes.

00:35:10.911 --> 00:35:12.900
Well, the last time we talked about this, you said it was faith.

00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:26.835
Yes, it's faith Okay, and it's got multi-faceted meanings this year, but yeah, I mean it's about having faith in yourself and growing your faith in different ways, having faith in other people, which is not always easy for me.

00:35:26.835 --> 00:35:28.630
I'm extremely independent.

00:35:28.630 --> 00:35:29.811
Is that okay?

00:35:29.811 --> 00:35:33.239
Yeah, so it's I have.

00:35:33.239 --> 00:35:35.851
Well, I know, I mean truly like that was one of the things.

00:35:35.851 --> 00:35:49.197
I'm such an independent woman I always have been, so it was really good for me to be in a space where I needed my husband a lot more than I normally did, and that was, that was a challenge for me.

00:35:49.197 --> 00:36:02.594
I would venture to say that was one of the more difficult parts is learning that, like you know, like okay, it's okay to depend on other people, Like it's okay to need other people, because that was just not something that I'm like used to.

00:36:02.594 --> 00:36:06.751
Yeah, we're actually going through that both together so deep.

00:36:07.733 --> 00:36:08.657
I know I love it though.

00:36:08.657 --> 00:36:11.672
So at the end of the day, fear failure.

00:36:13.125 --> 00:36:13.989
How welcome failure.

00:36:13.989 --> 00:36:18.740
I encourage everybody listening in this podcast to go screw something up this week.

00:36:18.740 --> 00:36:28.793
Seriously, be a menace, go out there and just be a menace, low abiding preferably, but yeah, like just embrace it.

00:36:28.972 --> 00:36:33.094
Golly day Like make a sourdough starter and like don't be perfect about it.

00:36:33.094 --> 00:36:33.585
What just?

00:36:33.606 --> 00:36:34.791
something like whatever is.

00:36:35.313 --> 00:36:49.150
But if there is a whisper in your head like, oh, I keep seeing this recipe and I should give it a shot, like it's okay to mess it up and do it again, like, whatever the whisper is, oh, I have to have a hard conversation, or yeah, I think you should listen to the whisper, it's okay to make a mistake.

00:36:49.150 --> 00:36:50.710
You can tag us in it.

00:36:50.710 --> 00:36:52.833
If it's really funny, go ahead and just like, let us know.

00:36:52.833 --> 00:36:55.554
Like I'm I'm actually going to have to take us in it.

00:36:55.554 --> 00:36:57.271
Like or like pick a bad picture.

00:36:59.027 --> 00:37:07.456
Like, post a picture that's not perfect and that you're not done up on, you know or you know a pile of laundry or dishes in your sink.

00:37:07.456 --> 00:37:11.034
Cause man, everybody is in the same boat.

00:37:11.385 --> 00:37:19.170
You sent me your outfit last night and you were like oh, I'm embarrassed to send this picture, but I need you to tell me about my outfit, cause you were like oh my, bedroom looks like a disaster.

00:37:19.170 --> 00:37:22.371
Yeah, but I was like that's the part where we're just like we don't have.

00:37:22.371 --> 00:37:26.391
You don't have time to worry about these little things.

00:37:27.054 --> 00:37:27.215
No.

00:37:27.405 --> 00:37:28.246
You gotta do not a little.

00:37:28.889 --> 00:37:30.534
Yeah, you can't win at everything.

00:37:30.534 --> 00:37:33.711
If you're winning at work, you might be losing at home.

00:37:33.711 --> 00:37:36.266
Or if you're losing at home, you know, you just don't.

00:37:36.266 --> 00:37:41.257
Nobody's crushing it everywhere, so just embrace it.

00:37:41.925 --> 00:37:45.677
And if you are, then you're probably not focused on your true purpose.

00:37:47.021 --> 00:37:47.422
Amen Amen.

00:37:49.648 --> 00:37:50.692
We got deep for number eight.

00:37:50.692 --> 00:37:52.766
Deep for number eight.

00:37:52.766 --> 00:37:55.652
Fear failure, fear failure.

00:37:55.652 --> 00:37:57.016
Wash your hair, go, wash your hair.

00:37:57.016 --> 00:38:02.152
Go by Aussie and wash your hair at people and then tell us the epiphany that you had.

00:38:03.556 --> 00:38:05.298
Thanks guys, see you next week.

00:38:05.298 --> 00:38:08.250
Bye.