March 7, 2024
Eagle Eyes, Getting Fired & Living Your Purpose
We’re still unpacking with one another, but this time we’re talking about the fear of failure. Jenny & Raebecca openly share how deeply they were affected by failure in their past. And ultimately what a gift it was, and how much growth it offered them both. Whether it’s a job or a marriage, the fear failure holds a lot of people back from responding to their calling, or using their gifts. Do you have to understand failure in order to appreciate success?
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Hosted by @raebecca.miller and @jennyfromthe843
00:00 - Friendship, Crocheting, and Personal Stories
04:59 - Embracing Failure
16:41 - Starting a Podcast
30:55 - Embracing Imperfection and Self-Discovery
WEBVTT
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Good morning.
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Good morning.
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Good morning, I'm good Ready for spring.
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I'm going to be intrusive.
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Ooh, I love intrusive.
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Well, okay, maybe I'm not.
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It's not super intrusive Now I feel like.
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I might have a ticket to do that, but yeah, you definitely, I haven't heard about Tim in a little bit.
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Oh, tim is good.
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He is currently sprawled out in my bed with my other dog, boozy, so they're friends.
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Now they're friends.
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I have to see a picture of them this morning cuddling on the couch.
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Yeah, we've had some growing pains, but I think we've all adjusted.
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I mean, it's like having another kid in the house.
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But last time you made, the last time we talked about this, Boozy was not so sure about Tim.
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Yeah, he's doing better now.
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They play, but it is so yesterday, excuse me, my daughter got a big stuffed eagle on President's Day.
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This is a cute picture, oh my gosh.
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Are they cute?
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Yes, I'll upload it to social.
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They're cute.
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She was so excited about this stuffed animal she was going to take you to show.
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Until the next day the freaking dog gets a hold of the eagle and I heard him crunching on something he had ripped.
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The eagle's eye out was like chewing on it.
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Oh no, my daughter was devastated and I was like it's fine, we'll get him a patch.
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Not that big of a deal.
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I was like it'll be cooler because he'll be like.
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I thought you were going to say we'll get another one.
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You said a patch.
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This thing was like 40 bucks.
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I'm not buying her another one, she'll be fine.
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So anyway, long story short, I found the eyeball.
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He did not eat it, thank goodness, because I probably would not have been pleasant for him to express, so I just popped that sucker back in, and then my husband came home and sewed it up, and that eagle is good as gold.
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Wait, nate sewed it.
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Yeah, I don't say, I mean I forgot about this.
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I can't even sew a button on.
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We have not talked about Nate's Are you?
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ashamed.
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Yes, yeah, my husband's.
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He's like Nate's, that person who's like good at everything and like I'm not just saying that because I'm his wife Like he is he's-.
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I actually love that you're saying that and you're his wife.
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Yeah, I mean, he's just good at everything.
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Like he's good at sports.
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He's good, you know.
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I say that I can name a few.
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I can name a few areas of improvement.
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He can't find a few wallet for shit.
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He loses stuff all the time.
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He can't find anything in the fridge, pantry or grocery store.
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But aside from those things, he is just good at everything.
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So, yes, he sews, he crochets, he.
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He's very, very talented.
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That's what he took up during COVID was crocheting.
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I love it.
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I mean, he was making some pretty cool things he made a we made like booby-coozies.
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What even is that?
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Oh my God, you obviously don't follow his page Yarnspy Yoko Wait are you talking about the beer holders?
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Well, that was the hand-tuggy.
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Okay, we made a commercial for that and everything.
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Did you see it?
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Oh my gosh, I'm going to message it to you right now.
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But yes, those are the kind of things we we did during COVID was he crocheted and then I did his marketing for him.
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I love it, though.
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Yeah, yeah, I'll send you his commercial right now.
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I'm sending it to you.
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Oh please do.
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We'll post it on the page too, because it's really funny.
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Yeah, I don't know if you're doing the social media for marketing in Mayhem, because it is kind of chaotic, but it's definitely who we are.
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It's Mayhem, because that's exactly what we are.
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You're getting some real personal insight into our lives, which I have.
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Okay.
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So I want to unpack something we were.
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I'm jumping right into it.
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You better buckle up.
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Buckle up buttercup.
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Well, we last time we talked about this restaurant experience that we had and the food wasn't great, but the atmosphere is great and the restaurant's beautiful.
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It's possible we'll be back.
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We just know what we're not ordering and the service was great.
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But I started thinking about, like, why we were really there that long.
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Because we were.
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We had three glasses of wine there, like we were there for a while and we you have to tell me if this is too personal, but we started we were talking about love is blind.
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We're talking about TV shows, and then we started talking about a really personal experience that you had.
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Okay, that we shared, that we did not know that we shared.
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Is this okay?
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Can we talk about this?
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We can talk about it, if I think it's what you're talking about.
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Otherwise, I'm going to be very concerned.
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We don't edit these things and we will never do that, so you're going to get what you get.
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So, yeah, what would you get?
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Well, you shared your experience about failure.
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Yes, yes, yes, I'm good, okay, and essentially I'll actually let you tell, give the details around the failure, but I think we should unpack this for a second, because we are doing multiple things right now that have the potential, like anything, to fail.
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I'm coming out of a season of failure.
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We, randomly, we have known each other for a while.
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We shared how this started, but if you zoom out a little bit further, it started from a season of failure, so I think we should actually talk about that.
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We should just a little we should.
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And to be just to be clear and transparent.
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Like I am a bit of a perfectionist, I don't love failure, so it's a risk to bring this up.
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Yeah, so for me to talk about this is like not the easiest thing, but you know what I'm going to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
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We're doing a lot of that lately.
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Yes, so I ran a successful business with my father up until 2021.
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So I was with him for about how long was that with him?
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About 11 years.
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We did that national construction business very successful.
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He ended up selling to another company and I went to work for someone kind of in that same space, was with him for about a year and a half, was crushing it, doing marketing, business development, social media, a bunch of different things and really was it the peak of my career.
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Like we had plans for, you know, future growth and planning things for the year.
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And then one day I got a call at 10 o'clock in the morning and was told that I was being let go.
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And to tell you I was blonde sided is like the biggest understatement.
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When you're a really perceptive person, like I am too, uh-huh, yeah that I.
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When you say that you were blindsided, I know that you.
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There was not a single conversation leading up to that that would have given you that impression that that could potentially happen.
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Yeah, we it was a season of, so I had found out it was right at the beginning of the school summer and I had lost my child care for the summer.
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So I was really kind of battling with what I needed to do.
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You know, could I work part-time, could I just work like really early in the morning, then really late at night, just to make it work, so I could have, you know, obviously, my time with my daughter during the day?
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Everything was fine, like we were.
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I mean, everything was fine until it wasn't and I, I called my husband as soon as it happened.
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So I had known this person for about three, you know, I was just about three and a half years and so I thought we were friends, like I really thought we were friends.
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Yeah, um, and I think it just it just caught me so off guard and I mean I called Nate and like he had to come home.
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I was a freaking basket case like and and I mean that was like June 7th and I remember the date Because it scarred me for life.
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I have never been let go from a job in my life like ever.
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Like work is my thing, like I may suck at all these other things, like I cannot sew a button, but by golly, I'm a really hard worker.
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So I think it just and I was so scared of like my reputation because I mean, I was very forward-facing, I was very active on LinkedIn, on social media, marketing our business, like I was at networking events constantly, like on all these things, and just it was, it was awful and like it was such a bruise to my ego that I didn't even know I had yeah.
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So yeah, it really Really, um, it shook me.
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Shook me for about three months, to be quite honest.
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Yeah, no, I.
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So two things in there I Am.
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This is one thing that we share, that I think, even when we have things in our businesses together that we don't necessarily see eye to eye, and I Know that I am the hardest worker in almost every room I show up in.
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Yeah so, and I know that you're the same.
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So I totally get that, because there has never been a time in my life where I did not Like I actually said this.
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So my girls are on summer some team and I made this joke to the head coach last year about I don't know specifically what we were doing, but it was going extremely poorly but we needed.
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And I just looked at her and said I mean, I've dragged dead her bodies and and she literally like spit out her soda.
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She's like how many use that at work?
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And she texted me the other day and she said I use this all the time.
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She has a job that's pretty serious.
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And so she was like there are just things that have to get to the finish line, no matter how ugly it is.
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And she's like I use that and use it in big conference rooms, like We've dragged dead her bodies, get it done, like, but I I'm not afraid of Sweat.
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Hard work, like doing the heart, having hard conversations, any of those things.
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Like you, if you need somebody to dig a hole, I'm your girl, like I'm sure.
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Well, I think there's no you and I kind of like we really pow, wow, because it is such a it's a hard thing to find, to find people who are just willing to like work that hard and then kind of roll up their sleeves and kind of Get in there.
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I mean, everybody wants to be at the top.
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I always say everybody wants to be in the ivory tower.
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But you got to.
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You know, you got to earn your keep to get there, right, I mean, you can't just you've, you've got to earn it.
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But honestly, I had the best summer.
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It what turned, what really shook me and really transformed me, ended up being the biggest blessing.
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Like I had the best summer with Clark.
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We traveled, we had so much fun.
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I was a lot more pleasant to be around because I wasn't a huge stress ball.
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It helped my marriage like just the whole kitten caboodle, like it was just such a blessing and, to be quite honest, it gave me the confidence to go out and do my own thing.
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I told myself I will never work for somebody, ever again.
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I'm not doing it.
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So it gave me the fear and the failure turned to courage and like inspiration to just get it done and do it myself.
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I'm like I'll be damned.
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I'm tired of making other people money.
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I'm gonna go do it myself.
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And here we are, so yeah well, in that conversation I shared that I had also been fired which is so crazy to me.
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I Like I don't advertise it because I'm like I'm I don't know, I wouldn't say I'm a barrier.
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It's a good conversation to have honor at this point.
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Yeah and like because we got fired.
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We didn't get fired because we had attendance issues.
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We didn't get fired because we were inappropriate at work.
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We didn't get fired because of poor performance, like.
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No, what's your father story?
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I don't know if we talked about this, did we?
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Well, I worked for a local retailer okay, I'm and after I got fired, a lot of other people got fired mmm but the basic is the two things that the retail company was in trouble, they had made some really bad spending decisions and buying decisions and I was the only district manager that was external, so I was the most expensive and I was the local one, and so the thought process I think high level, because I don't have a great explanation.
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Actually, the explanation that I got Was because I was a mom.
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Stop it.
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No, really like they tried to basically say that Because I was a mom, I made it seem like they weren't the priority.
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I mean I was working like 70 hour weeks.
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I was that chaps my hard.
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I'm gonna be honest with you, because you, you tell me that there there is not a harder Working person than a mom 100%.
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That I can fully say, like if Anything was getting more priority.
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It was actually this job in some ways, so that it was a blessing in disguise for sure.
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But I had such a chip in my shoulder to like prove that both that it could be done and that this.
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Even though I was Working against this like tidal wave of poor corporate decisions.
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Like I was determined to keep my teams happy and healthy and then to show some green and the.
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The main statement was because you're a mom and you're not making the right priority decisions.
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I worked all the time.
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Are you like me?
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Like I look back and I saw a post actually on LinkedIn yesterday.
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It was a story, similar story.
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A woman had gotten fired and she had this like huge list of all the things that she regretted missing in her family.
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It was something along the lines of you know, I miss my son's graduation speech and they fired me anyway.
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Or I missed my son's last day at home before he left for the military and they fired me anyway.
00:14:48.826 --> 00:15:07.321
So I think I know, when I kind of came out of like again that initial like ego blow, yeah, it was just more of I have traveled, I have been away from my family, I have, you know, done all these things for all these other people and At the end of the day, it does.
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It didn't matter, it was not enough and I am just replace ball Although they never replaced me in that role because they got rid of it because he said we were growing too fast, which is a great compliment to a marketer, by the way Fired yeah.
00:15:21.932 --> 00:15:31.370
But you know, I think, just looking back, you're like, oh my gosh, like why did I give up so much of myself and my family time for a job?
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Do you so just now, when we were talking?
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I'm a big symbolism person and I'm a big number person, mm-hmm.
00:15:38.985 --> 00:15:40.691
And this is episode eight, right?
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It is yeah, all right.
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Of all the numbers in numerology, the number eight is the achiever, and it measures life by the goals it reaches.
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It has good business sense, a powerful presence in a strong drive for success.
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The eight is also the symbol of balance.
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You can see it in its symmetrical shape, for every blessing it receives, it puts one back out into the universe.
00:16:01.937 --> 00:16:08.239
When things are balanced, they feel stable, controlled, supported, which is the most productive environment for the eight to work within.
00:16:08.239 --> 00:16:12.355
Hmm, an interesting thing for like very interesting.
00:16:13.025 --> 00:16:15.677
Episode eight to be about is very interesting.
00:16:15.980 --> 00:16:16.985
That is very interesting.
00:16:16.985 --> 00:16:24.365
But yeah, I mean, I don't know if you found that after you Like, did you have like a major ego blow because it like that was the worst part for me.
00:16:24.826 --> 00:16:30.197
Yeah, I mean I just came out of another season of failure Absolutely, I mean on my marriage failed.
00:16:30.197 --> 00:16:41.337
Yeah, I mean, I can't even, I can't fathom yeah, like back, so We'll circle back if you just started in episode eight.
00:16:41.337 --> 00:16:49.759
But this, this podcast, really started over Jenny and I having a conversation on a social media platform.
00:16:49.759 --> 00:16:55.585
It was on Instagram, in DMs, and we were troubleshooting some ideas of like current marketing.
00:16:55.684 --> 00:16:59.255
We were just talking because Jenny was in that what everybody talks about.
00:17:00.407 --> 00:17:04.217
Alright, don't just pour a glass of wine and ask about social media trends.
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That's why we were unpacking some social media trends and we have good.
00:17:11.765 --> 00:17:13.252
We had good rapport previously.
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Like we've known each other for a while, but we hadn't spent much time together recently and she was starting this company and she was coming out of this summer and I actually had no idea that you had lost your job going into the summer.
00:17:27.018 --> 00:17:38.105
I just knew that you were quiet, but I was also having a summer where I was having a lot of questions about my own life and so I really wasn't paying attention to other people's quietness because I was doing the same.
00:17:38.105 --> 00:17:42.153
So then you say like, oh, we should have a podcast.
00:17:42.153 --> 00:17:44.578
And then I say like, okay, we're gonna start Monday.
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Freak out completely.
00:17:46.807 --> 00:17:49.757
I was like yeah, freaked out completely.
00:17:50.267 --> 00:17:53.384
But we did and we had to throw away a few episodes and we learned a lot.
00:17:53.965 --> 00:17:56.094
But we really didn't throw any episodes away.
00:17:56.094 --> 00:18:00.979
If you think about it, every day there was a couple we did it.
00:18:00.979 --> 00:18:01.621
No.
00:18:02.002 --> 00:18:02.585
I thought that we did.
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We got rid of the video.
00:18:04.147 --> 00:18:05.451
We did not get rid of the audio.
00:18:05.451 --> 00:18:07.634
All these episodes are exactly what we shot.
00:18:07.634 --> 00:18:09.679
We have not gotten rid of anything.
00:18:09.679 --> 00:18:14.209
For some reason, I thought that we did no Just video, babe.
00:18:14.209 --> 00:18:19.191
Just video, that our Trailers, where I kept accidentally screwing it up.
00:18:19.191 --> 00:18:20.433
Then, yeah, we got rid of those.
00:18:20.855 --> 00:18:26.984
We get the the that because the week the one is so funny where I cuss.
00:18:27.726 --> 00:18:29.229
Uh-huh, I was so frustrated.
00:18:29.229 --> 00:18:30.592
I was so frustrated.
00:18:30.592 --> 00:18:33.939
That was a hard, you're like doing this whole thing other and frustrated.
00:18:33.939 --> 00:18:38.708
Oh yeah, when I said she really hard.
00:18:38.788 --> 00:18:43.734
I Was like waiting for you to say something like bless my biscuits, or something.
00:18:43.734 --> 00:18:45.455
I was like what is it even happening right now?
00:18:45.455 --> 00:18:53.884
Like you can just like be mad you just look at mad, like the New Yorker and me is like I think you forget that I'm like a New Yorker sometimes.
00:18:53.964 --> 00:18:58.477
I do forget your, because you don't have, like the New Yorker quote, unquote, like stereotypical accent.
00:18:59.626 --> 00:19:03.224
No, but I did make you nervous when I talked about that dinner being a bad dinner in front of the server.
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It was rude.
00:19:05.071 --> 00:19:07.500
No, you weren't rude, it just I don't do stuff like that.
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I.
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